Tag Archives: holidays

A present for The Swede

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Christmas is coming and I am already 110% ahead of the game.

My Christmas cards have been mailed.

My shopping is done.

Even my wrapping is complete.

I’ve annoyed even myself with my efficiency.

Personally, I am thrilled at the selection of gifts I have bought for my friends and family.

None more so than The Swede.

First, I bought him an industrial size box of Swedish Fish.

As a joke, naturally.

Then I proceeded to BREAK INTO the box and ate a bunch of fish so I had to get him something else.

And please, dear Swede, if you are reading this, stop now or your surprise will be RUINED.

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I custom made a tee shirt for The Swede.

Yes. I. Did.

Because I could find a tee shirt that said “Eat, Sleep Hockey” in English, but not in Swedish.

And I figure WHY BUY IT IN ENGLISH if he’s going to be in Sweden wearing it?

It should be in Swedish.

So I translated “Eat, Sleep Hockey” into Swedish “Äta, Sova, Hockey.”

Perfect!

Then I printed it in YELLOW lettering on a ROYAL BLUE tee shirt – the colors of Sweden.

How’s that for a present for you?

I REALLY hope he likes it!

You can’t say I didn’t make an effort. . .

P.S.  I got him a SECOND gift.  Just because I do that sometimes.  Check out this awesome mug I had custom made for him:

Don’t Hate

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I know it’s crazy to say this so early in the season.

It’s not even Thanksgiving yet.

But I’ve managed to complete all my Christmas shopping ALREADY.

Can I tell you how satisfied it makes me feel to have all my shopping done?

REALLY SATISFIED.

Like in ways that make me happy ALL THE WAY DOWN TO MY BONES.

I’m insane like this.

The instant my birthday passes, I’m buying up gifts and presents for my loved ones.

I LOVE GIFTING!

It’s my favorite part of the whole holiday (besides the Christmas music).

There is nothing better than seeing the look on my sons’ faces when they open a gift and get all excited.

I know it’s obnoxious of me to be this thrilled with the holidays, but I can’t help myself.

It’s like I’m high and won’t come down until after New Year’s.

Did I mention I also get two weeks off at work for the holidays?

Yup.

Two whole weeks of freedom, sleeping in, and socializing!

If I’ve annoyed you with this post, don’t worry. I do have a confession to make:

Although I’ve bought my Christmas and Hanukkah cards, I don’t have them ready to mail yet.

Gasp!

I know. But nothing says “I’m insane” like sending out your holiday cards BEFORE Thanksgiving, right?

If I could get away with it, you can be sure I would do it.

So have a lovely holiday season.

I hope you’re enjoying it at least half as much as I am!

Holiday Goodies

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I’m going to a HOLIDAY PARTY!

One of many, I hope.

This one is with my old colleagues.

Ye Old Guard, as we like to call ourselves.

Kudos to my bosses for creating a community at work that endures to this day.

Anyway, every year we get together and share stories and swap ornaments/hand made gifts.

Last year, I didn’t get the “ornament memo” and I was the ONLY PERSON who showed up without any gifts for my former colleagues.

I had to scramble to get ornaments and mail them to everyone.

This year, I’ve prepared myself ahead of time:

With UGLY SWEATER ORNAMENTS:

Aren’t they AWFUL (and cute)?

And festive holiday envelopes for wrapping:

Which I will decorate with a beautiful, edible “poinsettia” flower lollipop.

Damn!

I’m THE BOMB!

The opposite of S.A.D.

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Just so you know, this is my FAVORITE time of year – the days between Halloween and New Year’s.

I do not suffer from seasonal affect disorder, needless to say.

Actually, it’s quite the opposite.

Once, I fell in love with a man during the holiday season (and he was a holiday aficionado too) and to this day, there is a special place in my heart for him because it was JUST SO DAMN PERFECT.

Holiday music?

Bring it on!

Holiday party?

Where do I schmooze?

Holiday presents?

Yes, please, I love to give and receive.

It’s ALMOST annoying how much I like the holidays.

In case you didn’t ALREADY guess, I designed my Christmas card way back in July and it’s been sitting in my Shutterfly shopping cart, just waiting for a good discount.

Back when I had my own house, I’d decorate three trees – one in the front yard for the neighbors, one in the window, which was my designer tree to be viewed by everyone driving or walking by, and one in the kitchen which had all the kids ornaments on it.

THEN. . .I’d decorate the three arches in my entryway with fir swags and flowers.

OMG.

I’m getting so excited just THINKING about all this.

That’s how sick in the head I am.

If you have seasonal affective disorder, stay away from this blog until after January.

It’s bound to drive you absolutely BONKERS!

Valentine’s Day Links

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michelleI do this every year.  I get a wee bit sentimental and I start imagining that a whole day dedicated to love is a great and wonderful idea that doesn’t make single people feel unwanted and unloved.

So I post these links:

15 Free Valentine’s Day Printables [LINK]

25 Nerdy Valentine’s Day Cards [LINK]

Personalized lingerie [LINK]

A cute puppy in a bow tie (awwww) [LINK]

Because I couldn’t do any better if I did it myself:  Epic lingerie 2016 ed. [LINK]

Chocolate cocktails – because let’s face it, all those red, berry sweet Valentine’s cocktails are just too gross for words [LINK]

100 Ways to be Kinder [LINK]

Valentine’s Day pins, via Pinterest [LINK] and [LINK]

27 Cute Things to write your Valentine [LINK]

Top Chick Flicks to watch for Valentine’s Day, by decade [LINK]

12 Aphrodisiac Foods to eat for Hotter Sex [LINK]

Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas for Her [LINK] for HIM [LINK] for your dog or cat [LINK]

DIY Heart Piñata [LINK]

Rewards that aren’t Food or Shopping [LINK]

 

 

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Holiday Hookup

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IMG_8521At this time last year I was dating The Israeli.

Sure, he turned out to be an ass hat who ghosted me over Christmas after giving me a facial, but for a while there I was having fun.

Now.

Dates have been few and far between lately since I stopped internet dating.

And I’ll admit, when I got an email from Match.com with pictures of my “matches” I paused and glanced at a few of them.

I looked but I didn’t click.

I LOVE the holidays.

It’s my favorite time of year, the days between my birthday and New Year’s Day.

The only thing that could make my holiday better would be a holiday hookup, but I don’t see how that’s even possible given that I’m not meeting anyone.

Years ago, I had a boyfriend who also loved the holiday season and I think our first Christmas together was the happiest I’ve been IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

We listened to holiday music together, explored the Bay Area, and I chronicled all of it with pictures and photo books.

Yup, I was THAT KIND OF GIRLFRIEND.

This year, I think I’m destined to go through the holidays solo.

And I’m okay with that.

It’s much better to go through the holidays alone than go through the holidays with a face full of Israeli cum and a ghost.

Right?

Happy Christmakkah?

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screen-shot-2016-11-16-at-2-14-39-pmQuestion for you?

Is it inadvisable to send Christmas cards to your Jewish friends?

You see, I have like FOUR Jewish friends I typically send Christmas cards to. Just as a way of saying “You’re family and I’m thinking of you during the holiday season.”

But the other day one of those friends told me to save the card and give her a hug instead.

Which brings up the question. . . do Jewish people find it irritating to receive Christmas cards during the holiday season?

I wouldn’t want to offend but I’m seriously confused about the whole deal.

I wrote “Happy Hanukkah” on each of the cards.

And I bought a special Star of David sticker for the card as well, just so they know I’m not a TOTAL IMBECILE and I realize that they’re not Christian.

But maybe I’m not supposed to send a holiday card at all.

Or MAYBE I’m supposed to get a special Hanukkah card for each of them.

THAT actually may be the PERFECT THING to do.

It’s only out of sheer frugality that I send my customized CHRISTMAS card to my Jewish friends.

I’m horrified that I may have been inadvertently offending my Jewish friends for all these years.

What are your thoughts?

When I’m really annoying

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I went and did the unthinkable.

The somewhat abominable.

The incredibly annoying.

I finished my Christmas shopping BEFORE Christmas.

Yes folks, I managed to get all my Christmas shopping done in record time this year.

I even ordered my Christmas cards.

I hope to have them completed and ready to mail the day after Thanksgiving.

While I’m aware that most people find early Christmas prep annoying, I have a good reason for preparing early.

I simply LOVE giving gifts.

And I think I’m pretty good at picking out exactly what is useful and fun for the gift recipient.

When I was married, my ex-husband’s birthday was December 14th.

So I’d shop for all his Christmas presents and birthday presents at the same time.

THEN, I’d give ALL OF THEM TO HIM for his birthday.

Just because I was so excited to gift them to him I couldn’t wait.

Which meant I then had to go shopping at the last minute for MORE GIFTS FOR HIM.

That man made out like a bandit during the holidays!

Here are a few items from my Pinterest board “Gifts for Guys.”

Maybe it’ll inspire your Christmas shopping.

Maybe you’ll see something for yourself.

Enjoy!

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Save water drink beer tee

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In dog beers I’ve only had one tee

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Slouchy knit beanie

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Yoda lights

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Sport water bottle for you and your dog

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Campfire candle

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Hoops in the tub

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Antartica: A Biography

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Chocolate flavored whiskey

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Power bed riser

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YOLO Just kidding tee

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Beer pong table

 

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It’s a Jolly Holiday!

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The “other” BIG NEWS for the holiday break is that I got to spend a lot of time with my boys.

Now that they are teenagers, they prefer the company of their friends to the company of their mother. So it was nice to catch up with them while driving them to and from their activities.

I felt like a taxi cab. No sooner had I dropped one son off then the other needed to be picked up and dropped off somewhere else.

But they were (mostly) sweet to me. They gave me hugs and kisses and were generally good teenagers.

I still recall them arriving at my house on Christmas Day after spending Christmas Eve with their father. They were wearing matching jackets that he had bought them and they were obviously so pleased with their gifts.

IMG_8569We had a blast opening presents with the family, especially since my sister from Reno was visiting. That made it extra special.

You could say that I had a very blessed holiday, but that would be an understatement.

I can’t shake this warm and fuzzy feeling and my only regret is that I can’t live the holiday over again and savor every moment a second time.

Happy Michelle!

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Happy Holidays and a Fantastic 2016!

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MichelleIt’s been a little quiet on unblunder lately. That’s because I’ve been on a three week vacation and I didn’t have enough time to prepare my posts ahead of time. So I let it go dark.

I have to admit, it was wildly liberating to not have to worry about writing posts for this site, although it did go against my policy of making sure I post at least once a day.  Please forgive!

I had a fantastic vacation and will be posting the latest shortly. In the meantime, I want to wish you all a very happy holidays and fantastic 2016!