Sad news here

Sad news here.

The Swede will NOT be going to Burning Man with me.

Not only does he have to go to Vegas for work (poor boy), he’s got to get back home early for a commitment.

Normally, I’d be crushed.

But since I knew all along that him coming to Burning Man was a LONGSHOT, I didn’t get my hopes up too high.

However, I was fantasizing about taking my own “Burning Man virgin” to Burning Man.

What would that BE like?

We’d have to take a sauna at Saunadome AND see their electric space car.

Lay under The Firmament.

We’d get naked and washed by many people at The Human Carcass Wash.

And of course, we’d have to go by Barbie Death camp for massages.

There’d also be Transfoamation – where we’d get naked (again) and dance in foam with other burners.

Being a beer fan, I’d have to take him to Home Brew Camp for beers.

Then there are trips into the deep playa on an art car which are a must.

And this year, there’s the Symphonic Ballet “Rite of Spring” that I want to see.

Not to mention visiting The Man and The Temple and watching them burn, burn, burn to the ground.

I also imagine ALL THE SEX I’d get and if you ask me, I am most disappointed that I will not be saddle sore by the time Burning Man ends.

Because I find Burning Man very stimulating and it would be SO NICE TO HAVE A LOVER.

Nevertheless, I will have a grand time, I am sure, even without The Swede.

There’s too much to see and to do.

Too many friends to visit and have fun with,

too much booze to drink,

too much music to dance to,

too many lights to enjoy,

too much of everything to feel lonely.

Human Carcass Wash

human carcass washYes, I admit it.

I got naked on the streets of Black Rock City and I went through the Human Carcass Wash.

And I did it rather gleefully.

The Human Carcass Wash is basically a series of 4 basins that you step in sequentially.

Soap. Scrub. Rinse. Squeegee.

human carcass washEach basin is surrounded by 4 naked people, also there to participate in the Human Carcass Wash. The people at the Soap and Rinse basins hold spray bottles, which they use to spray your body down and get you clean. The people at the scrub and squeegee basins use their hands on your body.

Personally, I love the HCW. Everyone is naked and happy and there are always 4 people focusing on you at any given time.

It’s nice to be the center of attention and get cleaned at the same time.

And the water is delightfully chilly and causes you to shiver from your head to your playa encrusted toes.

I went through the Human Carcass Wash with a friend.

He went through the line ahead of me and it was fun to watch him get washed by all these burners as I got washed myself.

The only problem we encountered was at the end when we realized we didn’t have towels to dry off and we had to DRIP DRY BEFORE PUTTING ON OUR CLOTHES.

It was a little bit nipply out, if you ask me.

But overall, the Human Carcass Wash was tons of fun (no pictures allowed or else I have some to post).

I’d do it again.

There’s no such thing as sex on the playa*

There is no sex on the playa*

Obviously, I’m kidding. But according to my friend Richard, the heat and dust aren’t very conducive to putting people in the mood.

Of course Richard and I both know that some people are ALWAYS in the mood.

So there’s sex on the playa for sure.

Maybe it’s “I-haven’t-showered-in-four-days” sex – where you do enough to get the job done but there’s no bells and whistles.

No matter, anyway. The slightest motion in my tent trailer sends it rocking and swaying and moving to the groove…

Richard also told me about a little place called the Human Carcass Wash (next to the Testicular Torture camp), which as far as I can tell is some sort of assembly line body wash with a group of poly people holding squirt bottles. Excellent idea in the desert, if you ask me. I’ll be begging for a body wash, or squirt, after 3 days, maybe sooner depending on how sticky the dust is.

And you know I love showering when I’m not alone.

It won’t be the cascade waterfall shower in my sister’s house in Reno, but I’ll save that as my special treat post-Burning Man.

I’m wondering what my 24 inch long blond hair will look like after a week in Black Rock City. Maybe I’ll have dreads when all is said and done.

Honestly, I’m trying to figure out a way to wash my own hair just once while I’m at Burning Man. My tent trailer holds at least 20 gallons of water so surely I can use a gallon or two on my hair (and then evaporate the grey water).

Of course, all this hinges on me being able to actually DRIVE my tent trailer onto the playa. Since I don’t have a vehicle pass yet, the details are SKETCHY.

So there you have it…. Unlikely to have sex but likely to take a group shower at the Human Carcass Wash.

That’s me.

*Kidding!

There’s no such thing as sex on the playa*

There is no sex on the playa*

Obviously, I’m kidding. But according to my friend Richard, the heat and dust aren’t very conducive to putting people in the mood.

Of course Richard and I both know that some people are ALWAYS in the mood.

So there’s sex on the playa for sure.

Maybe it’s “I-haven’t-showered-in-four-days” sex – where you do enough to get the job done but there’s no bells and whistles.

No matter, anyway. The slightest motion in my tent trailer sends it rocking and swaying and moving to the groove…

Richard also told me about a little place called the Human Carcass Wash (next to the Testicular Torture camp), which as far as I can tell is some sort of assembly line body wash with a group of poly people holding squirt bottles. Excellent idea in the desert, if you ask me. I’ll be begging for a body wash, or squirt, after 3 days, maybe sooner depending on how sticky the dust is.

And you know I love showering when I’m not alone.

It won’t be the cascade waterfall shower in my sister’s house in Reno, but I’ll save that as my special treat post-Burning Man.

I’m wondering what my 24 inch long blond hair will look like after a week in Black Rock City. Maybe I’ll have dreads when all is said and done.

Honestly, I’m trying to figure out a way to wash my own hair just once while I’m at Burning Man. My tent trailer holds at least 20 gallons of water so surely I can use a gallon or two on my hair (and then evaporate the grey water).

Of course, all this hinges on me being able to actually DRIVE my tent trailer onto the playa. Since I don’t have a vehicle pass yet, the details are SKETCHY.

So there you have it…. Unlikely to have sex but likely to take a group shower at the Human Carcass Wash.

That’s me.

 

*Kidding!