So my day was supposed to go like this:
7 am – drink 16 oz water
8 am – drink 16 oz green drink
9 am – drink 16 oz water with smoothie mix in it.
10 am to 12 pm – drink 24 – 48 oz water
12 pm – drink 16 oz green drink
And we’ll just stop there since I didn’t make it very far in the regime.
THIS IS HOW MY DAY ACTUALLY WENT:
7 am – sleep
8 am – sleep
9 am – wake up and drink 16 oz water
9:30 am – choke down 16 oz of green drink (a mixture of lettuce, parsley, collard green, and apple juices). Almost vomit twice. Debate my ability to complete a juice cleanse as I’m dry heaving over the sink. Commence peeing every 10 minutes.
10 am – attempt to dissolve smoothie mix in it. Mix won’t dissolve. Decide it must be sand and pumice since that’s what it looks like. Manage to drink it down and keep it down. Feel very impressed with self. Pee at least five time in an hour. Feel like kidneys are floating away from me.
10:30 am – drink 48 oz of water. Discover that drinking this much water makes it hard to OM since you have to pee ALL THE TIME.
11 am – OM. Manage to get through it peeing three times.
11:30 am – drink tasty juice drink made fresh by OM friend. Decide that his juice is much better than the garbage I’m gagging on.
12 pm – go home to have another green drink. Discover homemade biscuits for my boys. Eat one cheesy,butterfly biscuit. Feel slightly guilty but can’t stomach any more green drink.
So I can sum up my experience on a juice cleanse in one sentence:
Homemade biscuit – 1, juice cleanse – 0