The greatest love story I’ll ever live

These two own my heart. . .

PARENTING ACHIEVEMENT REALIZED!

Have I mentioned recently how lucky I am to be a mom to my two boys?

I can’t express enough gratitude for being chosen to be their mother.

My eldest, Duncan, is now working and joined the Army National Guard to be in the Military Police.

Of course, he hopes to get a career in law enforcement, just like his father.

My youngest, just got accepted into UNR and will be attending in the fall and studying the field of biology.

He hopes to make a career as a veterinarian or a nurse.

Now, the thing you must know about having teenage boys is that even though they are less work than girls, with less mood swings, and outbursts, they’re also fiercely independent.

I’m constantly texting them asking where they are and who they are with.

I barely see them.

If it wasn’t for the fact that they need food to survive, I could go days without seeing them.

So, all this is just a BIG excuse for me to post this photo of us:

They came into my room while I was lounging on my bed – Duncan on the right and Gavin on the left, and they stayed there long enough for me to snap the photo.

Fuck yeah!

PARENTING ACHIEVEMENT REALIZED!

Fingers Crossed

Elon Musk took his FIVE sons to a pumpkin patch.

That’s right.

The CEO and founder of SpaceX and Tesla, Inc. has FIVE sons.

I’m less concerned with how something like that happened and more concerned with how wonderful and chaotic it must be to be the father of FIVE BOYS.

I know it was CRAZY with my two.

Elon’s five boys remind me how very badly I want to have more children.

I thought for sure it would happen in the years after I got divorced.

I was sure I’d meet someone special, settle down, and maybe have a girl or two.

Or another boy.

I’ll always feel like my family is too small since I lost Douglas and Ruby.

Missing children.

It is my lot in life to carry around the burden of having lost children.

I have, by no means, cornered the market in this area and I am aware there are bigger burdens than mine.

Still.

I want more kids.

Now, I’ve TOTALLY given up on the idea of having more kids of my own.

I’m too close to the tail end of raising my boys to turn around and start all over.

But reading about Elon Musk’s abundance of children, I am struck with the hope that perhaps, if I’m lucky, I will meet someone special who has children of his own.

The game is not lost, my friends.

I could still wind up with a girl or another boy.

I am struck, given my own adoption background, how families are made in all different ways.

I happen to have two mothers and two fathers, an abundance of siblings (six), and even more cousins, aunts and uncles.

So I know better than anyone that more than blood makes a family.

There’s hope for me.

I might get more kids yet!

Fingers crossed.

 

Spying eyes

My oldest son spies on me.

I know this because he called me up on the phone the other day to ask where I was.

Normally, I would have been at work.

But on this particular day I left work early to go to the doctor’s office.

“Where are you?” he asked me.

“On the freeway, heading to the doctor’s office,” I replied.

“You don’t have any doctors in that area. . . “ he told me.

“How do you know where I am?” I asked.

“I’m tracking your phone,” he said.

Sigh.

Why my son has suddenly developed an interest in my life, I will never know.

He used my password to log in to Messenger and THEN tried to blackmail me with information he found there.

“Buy me beer or I’ll tell grandma,” he threatened me.

“Go ahead,” I replied. “Grandma already knows.”

So there you have it.

My 18 year old son is spying on me so that he can blackmail me to buy him beer.

It may be time to change all my passwords.

What I love about Valentine’s Day

I don’t 100% HATE Valentine’s Day.

Although I should.

There’s something about a day where you can tell people you love them that just tugs at my heart strings.

After all, I have two teenage boys whom I adore to pieces.

Always my babies.

And since they’re usually adverse to me hugging, kissing, and snuggling them, Valentine’s Day is a good day to GUILT TRIP them into letting me do it.

This year, I got them each a funny card:

And since Duncan’s hobby is gaming, I got him THIS shirt:

Which I think he has more than enough attitude to wear when he’s out and about.

Gavin, on the other hand, is the daddy to two parakeets – Ross and Smokey.

They are his pride and joy, to say the least.

So I got him this colorful parakeet tee shirt, which I think he will like.

As much effort as I put into training the boys to remember to get me cards or presents on holidays, I think that I will be forgotten this year.

I’m not expecting to get anything from them. . .

. . .unless I HOUND them.

And that’s a possibility since I’m doing a piss poor job of teaching them to remember their loved ones on special occasions.

Hot date

Well, it’s a date. Let’s hope it’s hot.

Michael and I finally lined up our schedules so that we can go out on a date. We’ve been corresponding with each other for the better part of two weeks.

I picked a bar close to my place so that I don’t have to drive far in traffic to meet up with him.

I like him because he called me as soon as I gave him my phone number – something the other 2 men have yet to do.

Sometimes, our conversation is strained, but I figure that’s because we’re both distracted by someone else.

I also like him because he has two teenage boys and can totally relate to what I’m going through right now.

He has an interesting story. He is still friends with his ex-wife and her family (kudos to them for handling a divorce maturely and amiably for the kids sake). His ex has 4 little girls with her new husband. So this woman has a total of 6 kids. I’m flabbergasted!

Who has 6 kids nowadays?

It was my dream to have many children myself but I only had three and Douglas died from cancer.

I’ll always want a bigger family. And a little girl.

Sigh.

Anyway, he seems to be even tempered and thoughtful – two things that I find very attractive in a man.

I think he’s a little light on the lumberjack, but that doesn’t count for everything when it comes to attraction.

Wish me luck folks.

P.S.  Dear Jen, he’s 45 so he’s age-appropriate as well 🙂

Dating Tips for Divorced Parents

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  1. Get out of the house and date.  Mr. or Mrs. Right will not just show up at your doorstep.
  2. Dating sites like Match, eHarmony, OK Cupid, and How About We are great but also try MeetUp – where groups of people with shared interests get together.
  3. Try an outdoor club – like Outdoor Adventure Club.  You’ll get outside, you’ll have fun, and you’ll meet new people.  It feels good to be single and having fun.
  4. Don’t freak out if you come across your ex’s profile on an online dating website.  Have a little chuckle, but don’t freak out.  It’s called recycling.
  5. Keep your options open until someone special comes along.  I’m usually dating 4-6 guys at a time. One drops out, another joins the team.  It’s how I stay busy romatically.
  6. Be sensitive to your kids feelings.  They may be comfortable with the idea of you dating, they may not be.  Try to tailor your responses to their inquisitiveness appropriately.
  7. Take the time to really get to know someone before introducing them to your kids. You want to make sure people aren’t transitioning  in and out of their lives.
  8. Be yourself.  Get comfortable in your own skin.  You want to meet someone who will love you for who you really are.