Sometimes I say the STRANGEST things

As it happens, online shopping may be a more EFFICIENT way of shopping, but it certainly leads to more debacles.

Case in point, my BROWN LATEX DRESS purchase.

And now, my burgundy mandala kimono purchase.

It arrived in the mail, after being sent all the way from China, I suspect.

I intended for it to be the feature item in this outfit for the burn:

However upon inspection, it was less BURGUNDY and more ORANGE.

And not like a sunset orange, more like a MECONIUM orange.

For those of you who don’t know, meconium is the substance that comes out of a baby when it takes its first poop. When this happens in utero, it stains the baby orange.

Not pretty.

So now I have a meconium orange stained mandala kimono to wear to the burn.

Not!

So I scrambled online (again).

Because I NEVER learn my lesson.

I used ShopStyle, a sort of warehouse for mainstream online fashion shopping, and found two kimonos which I felt would replace the orange one quite nicely.

Much better, no?

But I’ll tell you this:

I had to sort through a lot of yucky and boring looking kimonos in order to find what I was looking for.

And (lucky for me) I also found a nice pink kimono/robe to go with my Pink Burner Bunny outfit.

Because it might get cold in Sacramento for the Pagan Bunny Burn and if so, I will be appreciative of having another layer to keep me warm over my tutu and corset.

You probably don’t know this, since you don’t wear a tutu with a corset unless you’re a ballerina (or a burner) but they’re actually NOT THAT WARM!

Sometimes, I say the STRANGEST things. . .

Chain reaction

The thing about putting together outfits for Burning Man is that one thing leads to another and before you know it, your $75 outfit suddenly costs $500.

First I buy a white open mesh bodysuit (undergarments not included) because I like it and it’ll strike a nice balance in my mostly black wardrobe.

Then I realize that I’ll be COMPLETELY naked under the bodysuit unless I buy something for it.

So I buy an iconic white string bikini.

Something every woman should have, if you ask me.

Then I realize I’m going to need a little coverage in all that sun, wearing only a bikini and a transparent bodysuit, so I purchase a white lace duster (aka beach cover up) to give me a little protection from the sun’s rays.

And in the process, I come across a really cool black kimono with a mandala design on the back which I simply MUST HAVE.

Then of course, I need to accessorize.

I have a white floral crown that was gifted to me by a bride at Burning Man 2017.

It lights up!

Some sort of necklaces and bracelets need to go with it, but I’m saving that splurge for later.

The MOST IMPORTANT accessory that’s needed when wearing swimsuits, in the wise words of my friend Dazzle! is a TAN!

Yes folks, I need a tan to pull off an all white outfit at the burn.

I daren’t lay in the tanning beds and get a real one lest I wind up with skin cancer.

So it looks like I’ll be hitting the spray tan salon again.

Get naked in front of a stranger and let them mist me brown.

So you know, when I calculate out the final cost of the outfit, it’s way more than the $75 I imagined I’d be spending.

It’s a chain reaction.