Commando

So I’m at work, wearing a lovely sunflower yellow sundress.

I got three compliments within 15 minutes of arriving at work.

One person told me “You better have a date tonight. It’d be a shame to waste that dress.”

The truth is I LOVE this dress.

I’m going to wear it to the wedding I’m going to in September.

It’s simple and understated yet festive and bright.

But I discovered a design flaw.

There is no lining.

And HOW did I discover this, you might ask?

Well I turned sideways to look at my butt in the bathroom mirror at work and discovered. . .

. . that my blue lace underwear was TOTALLY SHOWING THROUGH MY YELLOW DRESS.

Now I understand why so many people were looking at me when I went to lunch.

It wasn’t (just because ) I looked pretty.

No, it’s because they could see my knickers!

The thing is, now I have to figure out what to do to get myself through the rest of my work day without flashing too many more people my undergarments.

And I think I’ve come up with a pretty good answer.

One that will make all my “unblunder” followers proud.

I’m going commando!

 

Latex Panties: The Reality

latexMy latex panties (this exact pair) arrived in the mail and looked like the biggest pair of knickers I’d ever seen.

Be prepared. If you order latex panties online they’re going to look like something your grandma might wear. Minus the whole latex thing, of course because your grandma’s not a freak like that.

I tried to slip into them. It sounded like an orgy of latex balloons rubbing up against each other.

It was absolutely hilarious!

It took me about five minutes to work the panties up my legs and I was cringing the whole time because I sunburned my ass on vacation and the latex dragged against my legs.

Finally, I got them up.

And my butt is either bigger than I remember or I put the panties on the wrong way. My ass hung out for miles.

How did it look?

Not too shabby. I definitely like the look of latex.

The story doesn’t end here though, oh no! You see the other part about wearing latex panties is having to take them off.

I made a tiny little tourniquet with them as I rolled them down my legs. Inch by inch, with the wonderful latex-on-hot-skin sound playing the entire way down.

In the end, I had a tidy little figure eight of latex handcuffing my ankles together.

No one told me this would happen.

And that’s when it occurred to me.

If I was fooling around with someone and he went to remove my panties, he’d have to yank them down my body to a chorus of rubber farts.

Definitely NOT sexy.

But perhaps it doesn’t matter. I mean after all, you’re wearing latex undies and that’s pretty damn sexy.

Latex Panties: The Reality

latexMy latex panties (this exact pair) arrived in the mail and looked like the biggest pair of knickers I’d ever seen.

Be prepared. If you order latex panties online they’re going to look like something your grandma might wear. Minus the whole latex thing, of course because your grandma’s not a freak like that.

I tried to slip into them. It sounded like an orgy of latex balloons rubbing up against each other.

It was absolutely hilarious!

It took me about five minutes to work the panties up my legs and I was cringing the whole time because I sunburned my ass on vacation and the latex dragged against my legs.

Finally, I got them up.

And my butt is either bigger than I remember or I put the panties on the wrong way. My ass hung out for miles.

How did it look?

Not too shabby. I definitely like the look of latex.

The story doesn’t end here though, oh no! You see the other part about wearing latex panties is having to take them off.

I made a tiny little tourniquet with them as I rolled them down my legs. Inch by inch, with the wonderful latex-on-hot-skin sound playing the entire way down.

In the end, I had a tidy little figure eight of latex handcuffing my ankles together.

No one told me this would happen.

And that’s when it occurred to me.

If I was fooling around with someone and he went to remove my panties, he’d have to yank them down my body to a chorus of rubber farts.

Definitely NOT sexy.

But perhaps it doesn’t matter. I mean after all, you’re wearing latex undies and that’s pretty damn sexy.

Knickers

Now it may come as no surprise to all you you, but I have a bit of an obsession with lingerie.

I have 7 drawers full of the stuff.

And that’s not counting pjs, tanks and camis, robes, and other boring night wear.

No, I’m taking lace teddies, corsets, cheetah print chemises, black lace garter belts, and genuinely tiny knickers.

Now when I use the word “tiny,” I use it loosely.  Because as all my boyfriends know, I like sexy underthings but I do not wear thongs or g-strings.

They are simply NOT COMFORTABLE for me.

My cousin Jennifer loves thongs and g-strings and I am obsessed with her teeny tiny knickers.  I’m also obsessed with her little skirts, impressive rack (it runs in the family), bikinis, and genuine love of nudity (especially her own).

I heart my cousin.

So it may seem natural to her, given my obsession, that today I shared MY NEW FAVORITE PAIR OF KNICKERS with a guy friend.

Black with a red lace heart and garter belt.  Beauty!

There’s very little I can actually say to capture my enthusiasm for a) buying these knickers and b) sharing them with a man.

Woo hoo!

Yes, you can color me tickled!

Something is missing but I can’t quite put my hand on it

I stumbled across a site selling specialty underwear. Underwear with the backside cut out – supposedly more authentic to how women used to dress under their petticoats.

I think these are pretty ugly, don’t you? If a model can’t make them look appealing, there’s little hope my curvaceous rear end will fare any better….

buttlessundies1

Just about the only pair I came across that I liked was this pair. But again, I have a sneaking suspicion I’d take one glance in the mirror and be sadly disappointed in the effect.

buttlessundies2

Then… and this is where it gets good…. I looked at the price tag – £275.00 – and I laughed.

Steep price to pay for knickers which are missing their backside!