The one where she admits she took a lap dancing class

I had my first lap dancing class on Thursday.

The important thing is to start off with a glass or wine or two to loosen yourself up for the activity at hand. Which was great because I walked into the studio right as a girl was changing in to her dance outfit (black hot pants with studs and a matching triangle bikini top) in the lobby. Bam!

She then proceeded to slip on her 7 ½ inch heels. OMG….. now I know why men love heels on women. Pow!

My class started with my instructor Heather, also wearing booty pants and a tank top, telling the class the 5 Rules of Lap Dance:

  1. Arch your back
  2. Move slow
  3. Point your toes
  4. Make eye contact
  5. Touch yourself

Anyway, we warmed up on the floor with a sexy little stretching routine. Slow, always slow. Then we began to learn our lap dance in bed routine:

  • Step 1: Strut around in heels.
  • Step 2: Lean your back against the wall and spread your legs.
  • Step 3: Close your legs and melt down the wall to the floor.
  • Step 4: Crawl to the bed. Opposite knee, opposite paw.
  • Step 5: Run your fingertips, then hands, then forearms up his legs getting closer to the goods every time.
  • Step 6: Rub your chest over his chest and up to his face so he gets a good view of the kittens. Tantalize for a minute.
  • Step 7: Straddle his leg. Grind a little.

And that’s as far as we got.  Two more classes will teach me the rest.

I have to say, the whole experience was great. Once your forget yourself (wine helps) and get in to the mood, everything starts to flow.

Get in a sexy mood. Make eye contact. Touch yourself. Show off your body. It was all very enjoyable and, dare I say, pleasurable.

It did occur to me as I was taking my class how lucky I was. Men would kill to see what I was seeing.

Not only was I learning something, but I was getting quite the show!

And just for laughs and giggles, here is a picture of the man I got to give a lap dance to in bed….

photo(29)Sexy, eh?  Picture me grinding on that….

SUPER SLUTTY SHOES

I took my second Lap Dance class this Thursday with my imaginary boyfriend.

Once again, it was me in a room with several scantily clad ladies.  The instructor wore a g-string.  Sometimes I just sit in class and let myself be amazed by the beauty of the women around me.

We practiced our routine.  By now we had the beginning part down.

  • Lay your “boyfriend” on the bed.  Prop up his head so he can watch you.
  • Start out by doing a little routine against the wall.  Don’t forget to open your legs. 😉
  • Go to the bed and play with your “boyfriend.”
  • Don’t forget to SMEAR your body against his.  SMEAR. SMEAR. SMEAR. I love that word.
  • Rotate your body to give him a side view.
  • More smearing. Do it slowly.
  • Rotate your body to give him the back view.  Nice.

And that’s where we stopped.  And somewhere in this whole routine, I realized that my shoes were not nearly as sexy as everyone else’s.  I realized that in order to be an effective lap dancer (or at least to look the part), I needed to get a new pair of shoes.  So I went online and bought these puppies.

And I can’t really describe how happy these ridiculous shoes make me feel.  But I do know that there’s something about their absolute frivolity that appeals to me and resonates with my inner diva.

The one where she buys SUPER SLUTTY SHOES

I took my second Lap Dance class this Thursday with my imaginary boyfriend.

Once again, it was me in a room with several scantily clad ladies.  The instructor wore a g-string.  Sometimes I just sit in class and let myself be amazed by the beauty of the women around me.

We practiced our routine.  By now we had the beginning part down.

  • Lay your “boyfriend” on the bed.  Prop up his head so he can watch you.
  • Start out by doing a little routine against the wall.  Don’t forget to open your legs. 😉
  • Go to the bed and play with your “boyfriend.”
  • Don’t forget to SMEAR your body against his.  SMEAR. SMEAR. SMEAR. I love that word.
  • Rotate your body to give him a side view.
  • More smearing. Do it slowly.
  • Rotate your body to give him the back view.  Nice.

And that’s where we stopped.  And somewhere in this whole routine, I realized that my shoes were not nearly as sexy as everyone else’s.  I realized that in order to be an effective lap dancer (or at least to look the part), I needed to get a new pair of shoes.  So I went online and bought these puppies.

And I can’t really describe how happy these ridiculous shoes make me feel.  But I do know that there’s something about their absolute frivolity that appeals to me and resonates with my inner diva.

The one where she admits she took a lap dancing class (reposted)

I took a lap dancing class.  The studio offers 3 lap dancing classes – sitting, standing, and on the bed.  I took the “on the bed” class.

The important thing is to start off with a glass or wine or two to loosen yourself up for the activity at hand. Which was great because I walked into the studio right as a girl was changing in to her dance outfit (black hot pants with studs and a matching triangle bikini top) in the lobby. Bam!

She then proceeded to slip on her 7 ½ inch heels. OMG….. now I know why men love heels on women. Pow!

My class started with my instructor Heather, also wearing booty pants and a tank top, telling the class the 5 Rules of Lap Dance:

  1. Arch your back
  2. Move slow
  3. Point your toes
  4. Make eye contact
  5. Touch yourself

Anyway, we warmed up on the floor with a sexy little stretching routine. Slow, always slow. Then we began to learn our lap dance in bed routine:

  • Step 1: Strut around in heels.
  • Step 2: Lean your back against the wall and spread your legs.
  • Step 3: Close your legs and melt down the wall to the floor.
  • Step 4: Crawl to the bed. Opposite knee, opposite paw.
  • Step 5: Run your fingertips, then hands, then forearms up his legs getting closer to the goods every time.
  • Step 6: Rub your chest over his chest and up to his face so he gets a good view of the kittens. Tantalize for a minute.
  • Step 7: Straddle his leg. Grind a little.

And that’s as far as we got.  Two more classes will teach me the rest.

I have to say, the whole experience was great. Once your forget yourself (wine helps) and get in to the mood, everything starts to flow.

Get in a sexy mood. Make eye contact. Touch yourself. Show off your body. It was all very enjoyable and, dare I say, pleasurable.

It did occur to me as I was taking my class how lucky I was. Men would kill to see what I was seeing.

Not only was I learning something, but I was getting quite the show!

And just for laughs and giggles, here is a picture of the man I got to give a lap dance to in bed….

photo(29)Sexy, eh?  Picture me grinding on that….

Pole dancing, again!

Yes, I went to another pole dancing expo.

I’m a little bit addicted.

Also, I have a “girl crush” on one of the dancers – a sexy, raven haired beauty.  She’s breathtaking.  And quite a powerful dancer.  She definitely commands my attention.

I had a great time watching all the women dance.

Nothing quite like a lithe body swinging around a pole and working a sexy routine on the floor to get me excited.  Not to mention the aerial acrobatics on the pole which are simply amazing!

I tried to take Matt with me to the performance but apparently men are not allowed.

How he would have loved to watch.

The fashion for pole dancers is to wear hot pants with wrapped leggings.  Like this:

The women looked very erotic and exotic in their leg wrappings and hot pants.  I found myself wanting to buy some just for me to enjoy wearing.

For the performances, one woman stripped down to her pasties while another one gave a lap dance to make you stand up and pay attention.  Another woman performed her routine with a ballet-spin to it, even getting aerial in some amazing poses.

All in all, they were such beautiful women and powerful dancers, they took my breath away.

Since I’m becoming addicted to pole dancing this can only mean one thing…

…pole dancing lessons for me!

Come for the boobs, stay for the brains

Behave.

It’s what I tell myself every time I go on a date.

Don’t try to be sexy.

Just be yourself.

But somehow I always find myself making playfully suggestive comments to my dates while smiling innocently at them.

Or giving him a lap dance at the beach.

I’ve come to the conclusion that being bad is just way more fun.

And it’s much easier than talking about meaningful things in my life.

Who wants to hear about my son dying from cancer? Or about my job struggles?

None of that is entertaining.

What do people do on dates if they don’t flirt with each other? How do you figure out if there’s chemistry? What makes a man want to get to know a woman?

This is a mystery to me.

I figure when I partner up with a boyfriend, it’ll be because he just happened to stick around past all the great stuff (i.e. my cleavage and bedroom antics) to discover all the extraordinary stuff underneath that.

Come for the boobs, stay for the brains.

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The one where she buys SUPER SLUTTY SHOES

I took my second Lap Dance class this Thursday with my imaginary boyfriend.

Once again, it was me in a room with several scantily clad ladies.  The instructor wore a g-string.  Sometimes I just sit in class and let myself be amazed by the beauty of the women around me.

We practiced our routine.  By now we had the beginning part down.

  • Lay your “boyfriend” on the bed.  Prop up his head so he can watch you.
  • Start out by doing a little routine against the wall.  Don’t forget to open your legs. 😉
  • Go to the bed and play with your “boyfriend.”
  • Don’t forget to SMEAR your body against his.  SMEAR. SMEAR. SMEAR. I love that word.
  • Rotate your body to give him a side view.
  • More smearing. Do it slowly.
  • Rotate your body to give him the back view.  Nice.

And that’s where we stopped.  And somewhere in this whole routine, I realized that my shoes were not nearly as sexy as everyone else’s.  I realized that in order to be an effective lap dancer (or at least to look the part), I needed to get a new pair of shoes.  So I went online and bought these puppies.

And I can’t really describe how happy these ridiculous shoes make me feel.  But I do know that there’s something about their absolute frivolity that appeals to me and resonates with my inner diva.

The one where she admits she took a lap dancing class

I had my first lap dancing class on Thursday.

The important thing is to start off with a glass or wine or two to loosen yourself up for the activity at hand. Which was great because I walked into the studio right as a girl was changing in to her dance outfit (black hot pants with studs and a matching triangle bikini top) in the lobby. Bam!

She then proceeded to slip on her 7 ½ inch heels. OMG….. now I know why men love heels on women. Pow!

My class started with my instructor Heather, also wearing booty pants and a tank top, telling the class the 5 Rules of Lap Dance:

  1. Arch your back
  2. Move slow
  3. Point your toes
  4. Make eye contact
  5. Touch yourself

Anyway, we warmed up on the floor with a sexy little stretching routine. Slow, always slow. Then we began to learn our lap dance in bed routine:

  • Step 1: Strut around in heels.
  • Step 2: Lean your back against the wall and spread your legs.
  • Step 3: Close your legs and melt down the wall to the floor.
  • Step 4: Crawl to the bed. Opposite knee, opposite paw.
  • Step 5: Run your fingertips, then hands, then forearms up his legs getting closer to the goods every time.
  • Step 6: Rub your chest over his chest and up to his face so he gets a good view of the kittens. Tantalize for a minute.
  • Step 7: Straddle his leg. Grind a little.

And that’s as far as we got.  Two more classes will teach me the rest.

I have to say, the whole experience was great. Once your forget yourself (wine helps) and get in to the mood, everything starts to flow.

Get in a sexy mood. Make eye contact. Touch yourself. Show off your body. It was all very enjoyable and, dare I say, pleasurable.

It did occur to me as I was taking my class how lucky I was. Men would kill to see what I was seeing.

Not only was I learning something, but I was getting quite the show!

And just for laughs and giggles, here is a picture of the man I got to give a lap dance to in bed….

photo(29)Sexy, eh?  Picture me grinding on that….