Belly dancing

About 14 years ago, I worked for a spa in Saratoga. One of the benefits of working at a spa, besides free and discounted treatments was that we always had great parties. At one such party I met Sandra.

Sandra is an outstanding belly dancer who works in the Bay Area.

belly danceShe is talented, beautiful, poised, and knows a lot about belly dancing. You can read more about her here.

Ironically, she has a graduate degree from Stanford. She took up belly dancing in college to keep fit and now it more than pays the bills.

Awesome.

In any case, here is a sample of Sandra dancing.

She is mesmerizing, no?

So I’ve decided that my next big adventure is going to be taking belly dancing lessons from Orchid Belly Dance in Willow Glen.

I’m dying to buy one of those belly dancer outfits. Here are my two favorites:

black belly red belly

 

Yes, I like the black leather belly dancing outfit – kinda like dancer meets dominatrix. Very cool.

In any case, wish me luck as I embark on this new adventure.

I’m gonna need it!

Lessons I learned at Burning Man 2017

Lessons I learned at Burning Man 2017:

  1. Wear COMFORTABLE shoes.
  2. Bring a BACKUP pair of COMFORTABLE shoes.
  3. Bring TWO toothbrushes. You never know when you might LOSE one.
  4. “Wanna see the inside of my RV” is code for “Let’s go makeout.”
  5. Too much cocaine causes impotence.
  6. Edibles are stronger than you think.
  7. When in doubt, nap. See #6, above.
  8. There is such a thing as it being too hot to drink any booze.
  9. Though you may be tempted, NEVER slip off the condom.
  10. A SURE thing is never A SURE THING.
  11. Skullfucking is a real thing.*
  12. If you find yourself in situation #11, try not to puke ALL OVER YOUR PARTNER’S LAP!
  13. If you have a THING about other people using your pillow, BE SURE to state your preferences AHEAD OF TIME or risk sleeping in other people’s drool.
  14. Vodka, grape soda, and red bull is a real drink. Who knew?
  15. When opening a grape soda bottle, aim it away from your WHITE TOGA, or risk turning yourself PURPLE.
  16. Download your music BEFORE coming to Burning Man. You never know when a bar will need to borrow your playlist.
  17. If you desire to flirt with someone, do it DIRECTLY, don’t enlist the help of FRIENDS.
  18. It’s possible to sweat so heavily through the bottoms of your feet they slip out of your flip flops when you walk. Bad!
  19. Maintain the fire perimeter. Do not go beyond what is safe.
  20. Your camp becomes your extended family. Love each and every member you are sharing your burn with.
  21. The best times are the ones shared with others. Embrace your community.
  22. Village life centers around the daily ice run. Help out where you can.
  23. There’s nothing better than an ice cold beer on a FUCKING HOT DAY!
  24. Even if he looks young and virile, his dick still might not work. See #5, above.
  25. For some people, Burning Man is a bucket list item. For others, it’s a calling.
  26. Just when you think you’ve blown your nose as clean as it can get, another cluster of brown playa boogers will fly out into your tissue. KEEP BLOWING!
  27. AF guys are hot AF!
  28. It is possible to kiss someone and have every other person around you COMPLETELY DISAPPEAR from your world.
  29. If you’re going to get some action while your friend is in gate line bringing in your gear, be sure to get your clothes back on and get out to greet him when he arrives.
  30. Also, be sure the FIRST WORDS out of your mouth aren’t, “I just got some.”

*P.S.  You can get semen up your nose.

Save

I survived my survival course

I knew within 5 minutes of arriving at the Boy Scouts Reservation in the Santa Cruz Mountains that my survival course was going to be a challenge.

Because I was cold.

Yes, I came to a survival course unprepared for cold weather in December (shocking, I know)!

I forgot my hat and gloves.

And while I was wearing a waterproof jacket, I had only a long sleeved shirt on under it and thus I found myself shivering pretty good.

It was going to be a long 5 hours, I could just tell.

I used the “luxury” bathroom before trekking to the campsite. This, is the “luxury” loo, fyi.

Our instructor Jack talked to us about the priorities of survival in the wild:

  1. Shelter
  2. Water
  3. Fire
  4. Food

He impressed upon us the importance of creating a native shelter when you’re survival is at hand, so we spent a lot of time checking out a “sample” native shelter he called a debris shelter.

I call it an above ground coffin made from shit you find on the ground.

It was awful. But at least if I’m ever lost in the wilderness, I’ll know how to build one.

I teamed up with several classmates and we built out own native debris shelter.

Ta da!

 

 

Cozy, eh?

Two of my teammates slipped into it.

 

Our next activity was learning how to build a fire with pieces of wood and a shoe string bow aka the bow drill method.

Ugh. Can I even tell you how badly I sucked at this?

I burned a dimple into my wood, but that was about it. No fire.

Good to know I’d freeze to death in the wilderness with no fire to warm me, purify my water, or feed me.

Here are the tools I was given to start a fire.

But first I had to whittle my wood into a spindle.

Lastly, we learned about purifying water with rocks from the fire and we learned about how nutritionally sound bug are – though they may be a bit crunchy going down. Pretty gross, but if you need food, I imagine you’ll eat anything.

I can personally vouch that ants are pretty damn tasty. Taste like peppery caviar.

And thus my day ended, with me huddled around the heater in my car, desperate to warm up and feeling like I knew for certain…

…I would never be warm again.

Burning Man 2017 Lessons

Lessons I learned at Burning Man 2017:

  1. Wear COMFORTABLE shoes.
  2. Bring a BACKUP pair of COMFORTABLE shoes.
  3. Bring TWO toothbrushes. You never know when you might LOSE one.
  4. “Wanna see the inside of my RV” is code for “Let’s go makeout.”
  5. Too much cocaine causes impotence.
  6. Edibles are stronger than you think.
  7. When in doubt, nap. See #6, above.
  8. There is such a thing as it being too hot to drink any booze.
  9. Though you may be tempted, NEVER slip off the condom.
  10. A SURE thing is never A SURE THING.
  11. Skullfucking is a real thing.*
  12. If you find yourself in situation #11, try not to puke ALL OVER YOUR PARTNER’S LAP!
  13. If you have a THING about other people using your pillow, BE SURE to state your preferences AHEAD OF TIME or risk sleeping in other people’s drool.
  14. Vodka, grape soda, and red bull is a real drink. Who knew?
  15. When opening a grape soda bottle, aim it away from your WHITE TOGA, or risk turning yourself PURPLE.
  16. Download your music BEFORE coming to Burning Man. You never know when a bar will need to borrow your playlist.
  17. If you desire to flirt with someone, do it DIRECTLY, don’t enlist the help of FRIENDS.
  18. It’s possible to sweat so heavily through the bottoms of your feet they slip out of your flip flops when you walk. Bad!
  19. Maintain the fire perimeter. Do not go beyond what is safe.
  20. Your camp becomes your extended family. Love each and every member you are sharing your burn with.
  21. The best times are the ones shared with others. Embrace your community.
  22. Village life centers around the daily ice run. Help out where you can.
  23. There’s nothing better than an ice cold beer on a FUCKING HOT DAY!
  24. Even if he looks young and virile, his dick still might not work. See #5, above.
  25. For some people, Burning Man is a bucket list item. For others, it’s a calling.
  26. Just when you think you’ve blown your nose as clean as it can get, another cluster of brown playa boogers will fly out into your tissue. KEEP BLOWING!
  27. AF guys are hot AF!
  28. It is possible to kiss someone and have every other person around you COMPLETELY DISAPPEAR from your world.
  29. If you’re going to get some action while your friend is in gate line bringing in your gear, be sure to get your clothes back on and get out to greet him when he arrives.
  30. Also, be sure the FIRST WORDS out of your mouth aren’t, “I just got some.”

*P.S.  You can get semen up your nose.

Save

Lessons I learned at Burning Man 2017

Lessons I learned at Burning Man 2017:

  1. Wear COMFORTABLE shoes.
  2. Bring a BACKUP pair of COMFORTABLE shoes.
  3. Bring TWO toothbrushes. You never know when you might LOSE one.
  4. “Wanna see the inside of my RV” is code for “Let’s go makeout.”
  5. Too much cocaine causes impotence.
  6. Edibles are stronger than you think.
  7. When in doubt, nap. See #6, above.
  8. There is such a thing as it being too hot to drink any booze.
  9. Though you may be tempted, NEVER slip off the condom.
  10. A SURE thing is never A SURE THING.
  11. Skullfucking is a real thing.*
  12. If you find yourself in situation #11, try not to puke ALL OVER YOUR PARTNER’S LAP!
  13. If you have a THING about other people using your pillow, BE SURE to state your preferences AHEAD OF TIME or risk sleeping in other people’s drool.
  14. Vodka, grape soda, and red bull is a real drink. Who knew?
  15. When opening a grape soda bottle, aim it away from your WHITE TOGA, or risk turning yourself PURPLE.
  16. Download your music BEFORE coming to Burning Man. You never know when a bar will need to borrow your playlist.
  17. If you desire to flirt with someone, do it DIRECTLY, don’t enlist the help of FRIENDS.
  18. It’s possible to sweat so heavily through the bottoms of your feet they slip out of your flip flops when you walk. Bad!
  19. Maintain the fire perimeter. Do not go beyond what is safe.
  20. Your camp becomes your extended family. Love each and every member you are sharing your burn with.
  21. The best times are the ones shared with others. Embrace your community.
  22. Village life centers around the daily ice run. Help out where you can.
  23. There’s nothing better than an ice cold beer on a FUCKING HOT DAY!
  24. Even if he looks young and virile, his dick still might not work. See #5, above.
  25. For some people, Burning Man is a bucket list item. For others, it’s a calling.
  26. Just when you think you’ve blown your nose as clean as it can get, another cluster of brown playa boogers will fly out into your tissue. KEEP BLOWING!
  27. AF guys are hot AF!
  28. It is possible to kiss someone and have every other person around you COMPLETELY DISAPPEAR from your world.
  29. If you’re going to get some action while your friend is in gate line bringing in your gear, be sure to get your clothes back on and get out to greet him when he arrives.
  30. Also, be sure the FIRST WORDS out of your mouth aren’t, “I just got some.”

*P.S.  You can get semen up your nose.

Save

Lessons I learned at Burning Man

white witch

  1. Dust gets EVERYWHERE
  2. DON’T EAT THE POT BROWNIES. Just don’t.
  3. Trying to recover your sanity around people who have dropped acid is very challenging.
  4. Chapstick. Chapstick. Chapstick.
  5. Crying on playa is PAR FOR THE COURSE.
  6. Burning Man is like an obstacle course: there are lots of things in your way, it drains you, and yet you still come back for more.
  7. Companions are as essential as water at Burning Man.
  8. The only thing that tastes better than a fresh baked cookie at Burning Man is BACON!
  9. Never forget your goggles. Or your playa mask. EVER!
  10. Nose picking on playa is an art form.
  11. Get used to the taste of baby wipes if you want to get down.
  12. Burning Man is for experimenting and exploring your edges so don’t be afraid to play.
  13. Going to the port-o-potty at night without a headlamp is ill-advised.
  14. You can plan and plan and plan and you will still never be fully prepared for Burning Man.
  15. Hug, don’t shake hands.
  16. The booze is always free at Burning Man but it’s not always good. Case in point: Penguin Pee.
  17. Burning Man is like Mt. Everest: you may come with companions but you’re really all alone.
  18. You can lose sight of someone who is 3 feet in front of you in a dust storm. It’s actually very scary and disorienting.
  19. The BEST FOOD on playa is the food that is gifted to you.
  20. Don’t feel bad if you get dumped at Burning Man.  It’s actually quite common.  Burning Man is a relationship cauldron, smelting everything down to it’s most basic components.  Sometimes you come up lacking.
  21. Don’t even try to brush your hair.  Just don’t.
  22. It is possible to take a shower that is so cold it sucks all the air out of your lungs.
  23. Toe shoes, while being totally impractical on the playa, may be worn if you don’t mind stumbling about.
  24. Be prepared to make new friends.  Easily.
  25. DO NOT MOOP (ash your cigarette) on the playa (ground).  You will be reprimanded (spanked).
  26. Do not leave your camera outdoors during a dust storm.  It will stop working.
  27. Just because you get cell coverage don’t mean you should sit on your phone electronically stroking yourself.
  28. It’s questionable whether people brush their teeth every day.  Remember this when you’re about to kiss someone.
  29. Stop the spanking if your skin breaks 30 seconds into the paddling.  This is NOT GOOD.
  30. You can get a Cock Sucker certification on playa but you HAVE TO SWALLOW.  Spitting is not allowed.

Belly dancing

About 14 years ago, I worked for a spa in Saratoga. One of the benefits of working at a spa, besides free and discounted treatments was that we always had great parties. At one such party I met Sandra.

Sandra is an outstanding belly dancer who works in the Bay Area.

belly danceShe is talented, beautiful, poised, and knows a lot about belly dancing. You can read more about her here.

Ironically, she has a graduate degree from Stanford. She took up belly dancing in college to keep fit and now it more than pays the bills.

Awesome.

In any case, here is a sample of Sandra dancing.

She is mesmerizing, no?

So I’ve decided that my next big adventure is going to be taking belly dancing lessons from Orchid Belly Dance in Willow Glen.

I’m dying to buy one of those belly dancer outfits. Here are my two favorites:

black belly red belly

 

Yes, I like the black leather belly dancing outfit – kinda like dancer meets dominatrix. Very cool.

In any case, wish me luck as I embark on this new adventure.

I’m gonna need it!

Boudoir Reflections

I’m a big believer that if you want to make a change, you have to push yourself outside your comfort zone. Wanting change means that you want something different than what you have right now. But you’ll never get anything different unless you do something different.

For me, doing something different began three months ago when a Groupon for a Boudoir Photography Session landed in my inbox.

“No bloody way,” I told myself as I instantly thought of all my body issues. Then I paused.

How I feel about my body is one of the things I want to change about myself. So in spite of my fear and self-loathing, I decided to purchase it.

As usual, I put WAY too much thought into this activity. And WAY too much money. The process of prepping for my photo shoot was long and drawn out (Part 1, Part 2, Freak Out, Boudoir 1, Boudoir 2, Boudoir 3, Boudoir 4, Boudoir 5, Boudoir 6).  But it was also a lot of fun.

I loved looking at other women’s boudoir photos.  I loved shopping for lingerie, jewelry, and shoes.  It was fun to check out hair and makeup on Pinterest.

 

But all the time, I kept wondering if I was going to chicken out.  Could I go through with it?  Had I not invested so much money in this activity, I might have skipped out on it.  But I was financially committed, and that was good enough for me.

I learned a lot about myself during my photo shoot.  To begin with, I was very good at asking for what I wanted.  I’d done my research, I knew what I wanted.  Even standing in a room with naught but my underwear on, I was able to tell the photographer EXACTLY what I expected.  Kudos to me.

I also discovered that it’s okay to do it your own way.  You don’t have to do it the way others do it.  When I first started researching boudoir poses on Pinterest, it seemed every woman was a size 2 wearing a thong and a push up bra with thigh-highs, sky-high hair, and heavy makeup.  That wasn’t me.  I wanted to be dressed down and ready for bed.  And that’s how I posed.  Yes, it made for a lot of nudity but I enjoyed taking it off for the camera.

Not surprisingly, I got in touch with my sexy side.  Now granted, she’s not that far away at any given time, but for my photo shoot, my inner vixen came out in full force.  I used to avoid looking at my body in the mirror, and during the photo shoot, I stared at my body in the mirror.  Definitely bodacious!  Now I’m not saying I’ve been cured of my body dysmorphia, but I can say I take it all with a grain of salt now.

My final lesson was a lesson in limits.  I learned that a self-limiting belief is only limiting until you LET IT GO.  The old story I told myself was that I don’t look good naked – my legs are too thick, my butt is too big, and my stomach is too soft.  I have constantly restricted my clothes and my activities in order to “hide” these flaws.  But there I was at my boudoir photo shoot, putting them all on display for the camera.  Suddenly, those “thick” legs felt strong and powerful.  My “big” butt looked appealing, and my “soft” stomach felt womanly.  I felt gloriously sensual, sexy, and all-woman.

THIS IS THE STORY I SHOULD BE TELLING MYSELF, NOT THE OLD STORY.

So my parting words of advice to all the ladies out there are:  Book your own boudoir session.  You won’t regret it.

And also?  If I can get naked and post pictures to the internet, then you can definitely take whatever that first step is toward changing your own story.