Don’t laugh

….at least don’t laugh harder than me!The lingerie I ordered online arrived in the mail just in time to mock my single status. If you could anthropomorphize a chemise or pee-a-boo babydoll, they would be sticking their tongues out at me, crossing their eyes, and yelling “neener neener neener!”

Here’s a snapshot of the lingerie (and red glitter heels which match my Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz outfit):


And this is what made me laugh so hard I almost cried. My uber-gorgeous lingerie with matching microscopic thongs (WTF!!!) didn’t come in wrapping paper. Or tissue. Or little silk bags like I get at the lingerie shop downtown.

No…. my lingerie came in BOXES! At first, I wondered why the hell they were sending me pornos!!!


So, FYI… for lingerie. You can find it all.

Lingerie parties, henna tattoos and vibrators, oh my!

Friday night, I took an impromptu trip to a celebratory anniversary party at a local lingerie shop.

I met up with my girlfriend Danielle, who invited me in the first place. There were lots of beautiful women there (some in lingerie) and the event had a sexy, fun vibe.

image image

Did I mention the store also sells sex toys?

image image

Danielle and I got our hands henna tattooed by a phenomenal artist. Any design you wanted took 5 minute.

image image

Then they brought out the belly dancers.

The belly dancers were hot. Boy could they move. They took over a very small space and owned their femininity. They were gorgeous. Breathtaking.

image image

Afterwards, we went to the DeAnza for cocktails. We brought along beautiful Barbara who looked this good.

imageThere was a jazz band playing and we relaxed in overstuffed couches while the band played standards like “After Hours,” “Love Letters,” and “You Go To My Head.”

I had an unexpectedly amazing time with Danielle ad beautiful Barbara. We even shared photos of our past lovers and I got Barbara, who loved dark meat, to declare that Austin was “really hot.” Bonus to Austin.

I’ll have to see them again soon.

imageWhat a magnificent evening. Oh, and did I mention that I won the door prize? I won a $150 vibrator!

vibTTFN my friends, from the lovely Danielle and myself.