“No LTR”

To all the men using online dating websites to meet women and write “Not looking for a LTR” in their profile, I have one thing to say to you:

WHY?

Why are you online AT ALL?!

Clearly you are so unfit for a relationship that you even recognize it yourself and yet you insist on putting yourself out there AS IF YOU ARE AVAILABLE with a disclaimer that you think somehow lets you off the hook for whatever damage you cause.

I don’t care how good looking you are.

I don’t care what kind of a car you drive.

Or how diversified your investment holdings are.

YOU SHOULD NOT BE ON AN ONLINE DATING WEBSITE!

There are good men out there.

Decent men who have everything you have only they’re not raving about how wonderful they are while at the same time swearing a little loudly and profanely that there’s no way you could be wonderful enough to make them want a LTR.

I’ve got news for you.

I am that kind of wonderful but you’ll never know.

Because I don’t date ASSHOLES anymore.

And I ESPECIALLY don’t date assholes who think slapping a disclaimer on their ASSHOLENESS absolves them of any responsibility in the dating world.

So you can take your disclaimer and shove it up your middle-aged, hairy ass.

That is all.

FWB vs LTR

MichelleIt seems like everyone I meet these days is either a friend (with benefits), or just a person passing briefly through my life.

I am flush with FWB but fresh out of LTRs.

My life coach has advised me to abstain from FWB relationships and wait for the right person to come along.

In theory, I like the idea.

In practice, I hate it.

Who knows where my significant other is? If I were to hazard a guess, I’d suspect he is dallying with his FWBs wondering where the heck I am.

But this brings up a good question… do FWB relationships interfere with meeting the Right One? Do they distract you too much from the goal of meeting someone really special who will hold a place in your heart?

I’d like to say no, but lord knows I’ve fallen for more than one of my FWB even though I knew we had no long term relationship potential.

On the other hand, it’s hard to be single all the time and not get any affection from a partner. Having a FWB could keep you satisfied and prevent you from throwing yourself at the wrong person just because you’re so damn lonely.

Perhaps if I was a more solitary person.

Perhaps if I was less gregarious and social.

Perhaps if my hormones were toned down.

Then I could abstain from frisky business with my FWBs and my reliance on my FWBs would be diminished so I could meet someone special.

Perhaps, but I’m not holding my breath.