Naked men

The first thing you need to know about 50 Shades of Men Male Revue is that it’s not EXACTLY 50 shades of men – more like 3.

White.

Asian.

And Hispanic, I think.

There was no chocolate.

Sad face.

The second thing you need to know about the Male Revue is that WOMEN CAN GET SUPER WILD!

I mean, I watched grandmothers reach out and grope these men as they walked past.

It was a TOTAL MEAT MARKET!

The third thing you need to know about attending a Male Revue is that if you intend to get up on stage at all you better be wearing leggings and a yoga top.

Because you’re basically going to get hoisted up in the air, turned upside down, and faux fucked until your clothes fall off, so MAKE SURE YOU WEAR SOMETHING THAT STAYS ON.

I can tell you one girl showed off her SPANX at the Revue.

And another girl was clutching at her hemline in a failed effort to keep her short dress from uncovering her ass.

Oops!

The final thing you need to know about the Male Revue is that I TOOK PICTURES!

Feast your eyes on this eye candy!

Barbara said the best part of the evening (apart from sexy naked men) was watching my jaw hit the floor.

The best part of the evening for me was when Barbara leaned over and told me this was the BEST NIGHT OF HER LIFE.

 

Beefcake – it’s what’s for dinner

joeI watched the movie Magic Mike.

And Magic Mike XXL.

What self-respecting 40-something year old woman hasn’t?

I’m not a Channing Tatum kinda gal though.

Oh no.

I’m a Big Dick Ritchie fan.

There’s just something about an ENORMOUS man with an ENORMOUS appetite and an ENORMOUS “talent” that gets me going.

And when they had him do the pseudo BDSM scene in XXL, I basically LOST IT.

Totally and completely.

I lost it so bad I started following Joe Manganiello on Instagram.

Yup, I’m lovesick.

So imagine my thrill and delight when I asked Barbara if she wanted to go see a Male Revue in the bay area later this year and SHE SAID HELL YES!

Seeing as how I’m on a NO SEX kick, it will be a fun and safe way to get my rocks off without actually breaking my vow of celibacy.

So serve me up a BIG FAT HELPING OF BEEFCAKE.

Momma’s gonna pig out!