How to be Irresistible to Men

Ha!  How to be irresistible to men?  Turn into Heidi Klum, that’s how.  Or Kate Upton.

But as I was perusing the internet, I came across an article on “How to be Irresistible to Men” and I was intrigued.  Why would anyone read this garbage?  Research, my friends.

The first article suggested that being a nice girl is all it takes to be irresistible to men.  This I can partially agree with.  As we’re looking for mates out there, it’s our confidence, humor, and kindness which will interest a man and make him want to get to know us more.

The second article I read listed a bunch of things that has really nothing to do with personality and everything to do with body language.  Flirting.

  • Flipping our hair
  • Sneezing
  • Biting our lips
  • Moving our hips
  • Touching them gently
  • Wearing a ponytail

All these are well and good, but rather superficial, don’t you think?  Are you really irresistible if their attraction to you only lasts 20 seconds?  I think not.

The final article I read suggested that a youthful attitude, sexual adventurousness, being comfortable in your own skin, talking about what you love, body language, and being able to tease (aka create sexual tension) makes a woman irresistible to men.   Not a bad list, although it certainly requires the parties to get to know each other a bit.

If you were to ask me what makes a woman irresistible, I’d say her openness. It’s how she welcomes you to her.  It’s how she greets you in those first 30 seconds when a man makes up his mind about whether or not he desires her.  It’s also how much of her personality leaks through into real life, grabs a man by the ears, and says “Look at me.”  Whether she communicates this through body language or conversation is up to her.

We can’t be irresistible to everyone but to the right people – the ones who become our lovers and our friends – we are magnetic.

So my suggestion is don’t worry about being irresistible.  Just be yourself.  The rest will take care of itself.


An interesting man has appeared on the horizon.

All my pet peeves rolled into one:

  1. A profile picture of him wearing a hat
  2. And sporting sunglasses
  3. And I can’t be sure but IF he had an online dating profile I’m pretty sure it would contain some panorama photos of some grandiose mountain vistas.

He does however, have one gloriously redeeming quality.


And you know how this woman LOVES herself a man with a beard.

It’s the first thing I noticed and hats/sunglasses be damned.

I am intrigued.

Add to that the fact that he seems to be a seasoned outdoorsman.

The kind of guy who likes dogs.

And the adventurous sort of fellow who can pack for a 2-week trip to Europe or a 1-week trip camping off the grid in the mountains.

I’ll bet he could park a 20 foot travel trailer in an 18 foot space.

And I’m guessing he has a Leatherman.

And by “Leatherman,” I mean the tool set, not a guy with a fetish for wearing high heels (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

I’ve been to his blog.

As it turns out, he is a REAL writer.

Published, and the like.

Not like me, where I just type for my own sordid pleasures.

And for your voyeuristic tendencies.

Temple and The Man

I finally managed to get to the man on Friday night right before it closed to visitors to prepare it for the burn the next night.

It was stunning.

Inside the structure were large wraparound movie screens playing animation which finally ended in a tribute to Larry Harvey, the recently deceased founder of Burning Man.

Here is a picture of the man during the day (not sure who to credit the photo to, so if it’s yours, lmk):

After wandering around the man for a bit, we headed over to temple.

Temple was serene and reverent and I took the time to leave my tribute for my children and my pets in the temple (see blue fabric on wooden beam, below).

The temple smelled amazing with incense burning everywhere.

Everywhere you looked there were tributes to everyone.

I felt emotional.

I’m pretty sure at some point I’m going to breakdown and have a good cry.

It’s been a good burn but so much has happened I feel like I’m behind in processing my feelings.

I may just cry when I leave the playa.

And it will be cathartic.

Birthday Sex

I had my first SLS date last night.

How did it go?

In a word?


He was clever, witty, engaging and funny.

He laughed at my jokes.

I felt an instant connection to him.

He was real, unlike some of the Match or POF dates I’ve had, who prattle on and on about their jobs, their income, their investment portfolios, and their cars while saying ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about who they are as a person.

Sitting across from me last night was an authentic man, available for fun and enjoyment.

And I really liked that.

I had such a good time, I hope I get to see him again soon.

And since his birthday is on Tuesday. . .

. . .we might set up a “birthday” date.

Something fun, wet, and wild!

You know me, I can NEVER pass up an opportunity to celebrate someone’s birthday!

And this gives me the opportunity to spend more time with him and get to know him better.

Win – win!



I have this friend.

We’ll call him Brian.

Now, Brian is a pretty cool guy and reminds me of Tejas in a lot of ways.

He’s been through some pretty life-changing experiences.

He has a positive outlook on life.

And he has an abundance of tattoos.

So Brian and I are talking and as we’re chatting, the subject of sex comes up.

I don’t know how we got on the topic, but I’m pretty sure it was me making a joke because conversations with me seem to inevitably head in that direction.

So there we are, discussing sex when Brian suddenly drops his voice low and says the word, “PUSSY.”

Now, I don’t know about you, but when I say that word, it just rolls off my tongue heedless of the company I’m keeping.

I practically SHOUT it.

And here is Brian, whispering it to me.

“Can I say pussy?” he asked me.

“You are so vanilla,” I tell him, “you can’t even SAY the word pussy!”

I laughed like I hadn’t laughed in years.

I’m pretty sure that if I looked up the definition of VANILLA in the dictionary, it would say, “See Brian.”

So consider this, if he has to whisper ‘pussy’ what happens when he has to say the c-word?

Does he blush and get tongue-tied?

What I find sexy in a man

Its not what you think – washboard abs and a fat bank account. No, my tastes run more complex than that…

Big hands
A chiseled jawline
A sense of humor. Monty Python re enactments a plus.
A great father
Talent, in any area
A good listener
An authentic smile
Eye contact
Low, sexy voice
Initiates middle-of-the-night sex
Stays calm when I’m freaking out
Has a backbone
Smells good
Good manners
Has great rhythm 😉

I went on a date

I was excited to get out of the house.

It feels like it’s been FOREVER since someone took me out.

Like The Swede in May.

I was so excited to get out of the house that I actually went through way more preparation and ritual than I normally do.

I took a bath.

I shaved my whole body – even my legs.

Just in case, you know, they got TOUCHED.

Then I put on perfume.

Of course I stopped just shy of putting on body lotion.

I put on fresh antiperspirant, just in case.

I redid all my makeup.

Then I COMPLETELY forgot lipstick!

Left the house without a tube to my name.


I know you all think I’ve been living like a nun these past few months, but I broke the mold on this date.

I was witty, and funny, and very VERY flirty.

He stood no chance against my charm.

Which was good because he was quite charming himself and I found myself having a good time.

At the end, of the date, he pinned my back against my truck, stuck one knee between my thighs, grabbed a fistful of hair and kissed me.

And was it good, you’re wondering?

Well, I’ll tell you this. . .

. . .it did not suck.



Mr. 6’10”

I once dated a guy who was 6’10” tall.

Everywhere we went, people reacted to him. So much so that he developed two jokes he’d use all the time to answer two common questions people would ask him:

  1. Is it true what they say about a man’s height and the size of his penis?

Answer: God no! I’d be 10 feet tall.

  1. Do you play basketball?

Answer: Do you play mini golf?

The truth is, Mr. 6’10” was a volleyball player, and a good one at that.  I’m not sure he did any more than that, he seemed to be independently wealthy and I knew his family hailed from Pebble Beach.

I was smitten with this man and imagined he was smitten with me too.

In the end, that turned out to not be the case and we drifted apart and lost touch.

The other day, I’m minding my own business when an email comes in to my inbox.

Mr. 6’10” tall wants to add you as a connection on LinkedIn.


Naturally I added him.

But I can’t help but feel like I got lumped in with a group add on LinkedIn. I’m pretty sure he didn’t intend to add me as a contact.

Nevertheless he did it, so I can just go ahead and feel slightly smug that after nearly 10 years, he reconnected with me.

Deliberate or accidental.


Seriously delicious lips

IMG_9624The Swede is back!

He is visiting from Sweden again, on a business trip.

We went out last night and I was reminded of why I like him so much – he kisses PHENOMENALLY well!

OMG, I could get lost in his kisses (and I did).

He tells me he “likes to kiss me too.”

I also like his big, broad shoulders and muscular build.

He reminds me of The Mountain from Game of Thrones.

When I told him this he admitted to me that he used to be a body builder but gave it up to raise a family.

He once lifted a Volvo but wasn’t able to move it like body builder Magnus Samuelsson was doing at the same competition.

But he lifted a Volvo.


In any case, he wants me to come and visit him today. To kiss some more, no doubt.

But you know how kissing leads to forking and I’m not sure I want that.

So I’m probably going to stay away from his hotel room and lure him to a restaurant to make out.

Yum. Yum. Yum.

The man has seriously delicious lips!


michelleI finally had a good date.

He showed up in a polo and jeans and I was instantly attracted to him.

“Michelle?” he asked.

“Yes, hi,” I replied.

He sat down at my table. We were at the Jack Rose in Los Gatos on Thursday evening. The same place where I had my DISASTROUS “let-me-see-your-tits-better” date on Tuesday.

He instantly came off as sincere and respectful.

At first there was a bit of awkward silence.

We both scrambled to come up with something relevant to say.

The silence didn’t last long. Before I knew it we were chatting like old friends.

I asked him to tell me a secret. It’s a standard question I ask on dates. I like hearing the response to that question. I’ve heard everything from a drunk driving story to admission of a foot fetish.

He told me about his wilder younger days.

Then he asked me to tell him a secret.


I admitted I liked going to nudist resorts like Lupin Lodge. But shhhhh! My parents don’t know.

My date was a consummate outdoorsman. He likes to fish and hunt. He drives a truck and owns a boat. He likes to camp and hike.

In essence, MY PERFECT MAN.

Yup, there’s only one problem. . .

I don’t think he liked me.

I’m not sure what gave me that impression.

Maybe because he didn’t kiss me goodnight.

Maybe because he didn’t mention another date.

But there you go.

I don’t expect to hear from him again.