All is not lost

Wanna know how the love life is going?

It’s not.

I’m firmly stuck in NEUTRAL, not making progress forward (nor backwards) on any relationship.

I got an email the other day through MeetUp.

A man introduced himself to me and basically sent me an entire paragraph about himself without using ANY PUNCTUATION WHATSOEVER.

I couldn’t bring myself to read it in its entirety.

It was one long RUN ON SENTENCE and we all know I tend to be a grammar snob.

So needless to say, I didn’t reply to his email.

And what is he doing using MeetUp as a dating app?

My profile on MeetUp says I’m interested in doing things with people because my friends are all coupled up and I’m always the third wheel when we go out.

Sometimes I get tired of being the third wheel.

Sometimes I just want to hang out with other single people who, like myself, want to be social but without being the odd man out.

I got a message from another man looking for a “sweet mature cuddling experience” which is something I’m ABSOLUTELY NOT OKAY WITH.

Sorry to say I need to already have an affection for the people I cuddle with.

No strangers allowed.

It freaks me out, the idea of a stranger snuggling up to me.

Smelling my hair.

Curling his body into mine.

No thanks.

Of course The Swede is still in the picture.

I’d snuggle with him anytime.

He’s the closest I’ve come in the past 5 years to having a love interest.

I feel lucky to have struck up an international friendship with him.

So all is not lost.

It’s just stuck in Sweden.

 

Beer whore

Going to karaoke did not turn out as planned.

I bombed on stage, got tired, and left early.

This time I’m trying something different.

This time I’m going to Game Night at the Hofbrau.

That’s right. . . tasty beer AND games, what could be better?

Judging from the RSVP list, this event looks more “Female Friendly” because I’m not the only woman who has signed up to attend.

If you recall, I was one woman among 20 men at karaoke.

No one can accuse me of not doing my part to make new friends.

I suppose it helps to STAY AWAKE when meeting them, but damn if I’m not exhausted after a day of working.

This time around, Game Night is taking place during the Thanksgiving holiday so I should be well rested and ready to win a few rounds of Monopoly.

Or, as The Swede likes to put it, I’m ready to CHEAT at Monopoly.

Personally, I’m just hoping to get out and have a good time.

Maybe meet a few new men and women.

One thing is for sure. . . I’ll DEFINITELY get to drink some good beer.

I absolutely LOVE the selection of beer at the Hofbrau.

I’d attend any type of event held there JUST TO DRINK BEER.

Oh,who am I kidding?

I’m not going for the games.

I’m going for the beer.

 

Shoot the shit

Tonight I am going to karaoke with a bunch of strangers.

I tried to talk Barbara into going with me so I wouldn’t be all alone but she’s working.

So I’m left to my own devices.

This is a MeetUp event.

And I’m going because I think it’s important for me to get out and do things that I normally wouldn’t do.

Time to make more friends.

Hang out with interesting people.

Sing my head off with Pat Benatar.

“WE BELONG!”

It’s my standard karaoke performance.

That and “My Immortal” by Evanescence.

Which is CONSIDERABLY harder than “We Belong.”

It has been WAY TOO EASY for me to just hang out at home, watching TV, and relaxing with my boys.

I need to get out and mingle.

Shoot the shit.

You never know when you’re going to meet someone awesome.

But I’m pretty sure it’s not going to happen if I keep sitting on the couch in my living room watching reruns of NCIS.

So I’m going out.

Cuddling with Strangers

Cuddling with strangers.

It’s the one barrier I have yet to overcome.

I’ve had opportunities to overcome my aversion to touching people I don’t know.

Like when I signed up to do JUST THAT. . . go to a cuddle puddle with a friend and cuddle my heart out.

In the end, I FLAKED.

I just couldn’t do it.

The thought of some stranger’s hands on my body and their hot breath in my hair made me want to stiffen up and run!

It still gives me the willies.

There’s nothing I want more in this world than to maintain the integrity of my own body and that means being SELECTIVE about who touches it.

Very selective.

So you can imagine my response when I got this message through MeetUp.

Um . . . let me think.

No.

How about, HELLO NO!

‘Mature cuddling’?

As in something R or maybe X rated?

No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

You’re not even allowed to THINK that with even just a PICTURE of me!