The first thing you need to know about Sweden is that I WAS HOT!
I was MORE THAN HOT, I was perpetually sweating.
Sweden has convinced me that I’m going into menopause and there’s only one thing I have to say about that:
SWEDEN IS A GOOD PLACE (i.e. cold) TO GO THROUGH MENOPAUSE.
I felt like I was going to burst into flames each and every day I was there.
Remember how worried I was about being cold?
Feel free to laugh out loud right now.
Three pairs of long johns?
Never wore them.
Silk shorts and top?
Didn’t even pull them out of the suitcase.
Most of the time I never wore my jacket.
All I had to wear were sweaters and sweater dresses. So I wandered around Stockholm in a toasty warm sweater enjoying the cold only to walk into a store and GET BLASTED BY 100F HEAT!
Sweat was persistently running down my back.
I was so hot in Sweden that I jumped out of a nice hot tub and sat down in the snow.
Just to cool off a little bit.
How a girl from California can travel over 5,000 miles to Sweden and find herself persistently in the middle of a thermoregulatory crisis, I WILL NEVER KNOW.
But it happened.
It’s been 38 days since my last period.
Normally, I’d be worried about a (GASP!) unexpected pregnancy, however I haven’t done the thing you need to do to get pregnant so. . .
That’s a nice way of saying I haven’t had sex in over 38 days.
I emailed my doctor, worried about perhaps some sort of gynecological problem. Both my grandmothers died from complications related to ovarian cancer.
Are you spotting in between periods, my doctor asked?
Well then the most likely thing that is happening is that menopause is setting in.
It usually begins in the 40s and takes about a decade to run its course.
I’ll just let that sink in.
I’m TOO YOUNG TO BE GOING INTO MENOPAUSE!
You have to understand, I feel the same way I did when I was driving in Frank’s mustang from our high school graduation to my grad party.
I’M TOO YOUNG.
So much of my feminine identity is rolled into my ability to breed. What will I do when I lose it?
I thought for sure I had at least 6 or 7 years before I had to contemplate this.
I’m too young.
Will I start looking like Cybil Shepherd, Kelly McGillis, or Kathleeen Turner?
They reached “a certain age” and started to become more masculine.
Just another thing for me to put on my list of things I need to worry about.
I’m too young. . .