It’s Burning Man

Burning Man is fast approaching.

This year I’m staying in Tejas’ RV, just like last year.

But this year there’s a TWIST.

Yvonne (Tejas’ ex-girlfriend) is coming with us.

O. M. G.

I know, I know.

It sound CRAZY but let me tell you, the two of them actually get along quite well and I think that it’ll all work out just fine.

We’re bringing Pete, my 10’ x 14’ tent just in case someone (Yvonne) needs private space.

It’s a lot to ask three people to share the same 180 square feet of space for A WEEK.

It’s certainly going to be an adventure.

Given the history between Tejas and Yvonne, I have to ask myself, am I prepared if they decide to couple up for Burning Man?

The answer is YES!

First of all, I adore them as a couple.

I love them both.

Second of all, I’m really comfortable being the third wheel.

Seeing as how ALL MY FRIENDS are coupled up, I frequently am the “third wheel” so it’s no big deal for me.

What are we going to do about privacy?

Give it to each other, as much as we can.

Of course, it is Burning Man.

There’s a certain amount of nudity that’s PAR FOR THE COURSE.

I anticipate that we’ll all see each other naked, in one way or another.

Tejas needs help getting into his kilts.

I need help getting into my corsets.

And I fully intend to wear the SKIMPIEST LITTLE NIGHTGOWNS TO BED TO BEAT THE HEAT.

Lord only knows what Yvonne’s going to do but if history repeats itself, she’ll have trouble keeping her clothes on.

What the hell. . .

. . .it’s BURNING MAN!

Sneaking around naked

This may or may not have happened at Mercey Hot Springs:

After imbibing MANY gin and tonics with FRESH lime juice, an entire bottle of champagne, AND a few glasses of red wine, two women decided to sneak off to the “CLOTHING OPTIONAL” soaking tubs to take a dip in the hot water.

The hot tubs are empty and have to be filled with hot water for each user.

The hot tubs are also crawling with black beetles that have to be flushed down the drain BEFORE you can use the tubs.

So the women rinsed out their hot tubs, got rid of all the beetles, and filled their tubs with water.

Then they carefully removed their clothing, placed everything on a nearby chair, and stepped into their hot tubs to soak.

The water was hot and enveloping.

The night breeze was warm and relaxing.

One of them turned off their Coleman lantern so that they could see the lights from the stars.

As soon as the light went off, the women were cloaked in darkness.

The light from distant starts started to appear before them.

It was the Milky Way, almost close enough to touch.

So beautiful

So striking.

Before long, the women were joined by two other couples, who each snuck into their own tubs to watch the star show.

And then, one of the women started snoring.

She was sleeping in her hot tub.

Her friend, realizing it was time to take her back to the tent, rustled her awake.

“Time to go to the tent.”

In order to not put on a peep show to the light of a Coleman lantern, the women opted to wrap their towels around themselves and sneak back to their tent, hopefully avoiding staff.

The woman who was awake had a yellow towel and she wrapped it tightly around her body.

The sleepy woman did not do very well wrapping up her nudity. She was losing her towel right and left, so much that the other woman had to turn off the lantern lest they be seen in the light.

They carefully made their way, giggling loudly, in the dark to the campsite.

Home sweet home!

Happy Mother’s Day!

familyFor me, Mother’s Day has always represented the importance of women in my life.

For 22 years of my life, I celebrated it with two women – my mom Alice and my grandma.

Then, when I was 22, I met my birthfamily and suddenly, I was celebrating Mother’s Day with my birthmother, Grammy (my great-grandmother), and my stepmom.

There were times when I also celebrated Mother’s Day with my Aunt Xondra and my sister Lisa.

And when my sons were born, suddenly there were Mother’s Day and GRANDMOTHER’S DAY cards and presents to buy.

I used to laugh at the checkout stand, holding a handful of Mother’s Day cards, wondering if the cashier thought I was nuts to be buying upwards of a dozen Mother’s Day cards.

Of course, Grammy has since passed away. And my 90 year old grandmother is now living in an assisted care home. I don’t see my birthmother as much as I should. And I probably take my own mother for granted most of the time.

The other day, my friend Barbara posted on Facebook how she got misty talking about Mother’s Day to the three year old she nannies.

You see Barbara’s own mother passed away a few years ago.

And then I realized HOW INCREDIBLE LUCKY I AM TO HAVE SO MANY WONDERFUL WOMEN FIGURES IN MY LIFE.

  • My mom
  • My grandma
  • My birthmom
  • My sister
  • Barbara
  • Michelle
  • My cousin
  • My aunt
  • My sister-in-law

I may have gone a little overboard buying flowers and gifts for people.

I bought the rights to the family photos I took 2 weeks ago with my boys so best of all, I have my own family photos to share.

There’s a word for what I am. . .

BLESSED!

Happy Holi 2016!

Every year, for the past 7 years, I have taken my boys to Holi at Stanford. Holi is an Indian festival of spring – celebrated with music, dancing, food, and the omnipresent flinging of “colors” on people while saying “Happy Holi!”

Colors are food-grade powdered paint which are usually tinted green, orange, pink, and yellow.

You grab a handful and throw it on your friends and family while trying to duck their throws.

For years, my boys enjoyed slamming me in the face with color.

holi-boysWhen Stanford allowed water at Holi (pre California drought), they doused me with water and actually turned my hair a nice Easter egg yellow that cost $200 and an appointment with a very talented hair stylist.

Lately though my boys are “too old” to go to Holi, which is to say that they’d prefer to hang out with their friends playing video games than going with their mom to an open field to run in circles throwing paint on one another.

Sigh. Welcome to teenagerhood.

Last year I talked Tejas into going to Holi with me:

But this year, I got Barbara, Michelle, and Kari to all go with me to Holi AND WE HAD A BLAST!

The music was amazing.

The food was spectacular.

And the colors were FLYING!

I took a few shots straight to the face, as evidenced by this photo of me with a full green face (Kari, Barbara, and Michelle are painted pretty good themselves).

holi-groupI hope I get to keep doing Holi and that my friends continue to do it with me.

It’s an AMAZING GOOD TIME!

Like a color run, but WITHOUT ANY RUNNING!

holi holi
holi IMG_9260
holi holi

 

Girlfriends

MichelleOk yes.

The Israeli is gone and I’m back to square one in the dating arena.

But I have to tell you, life isn’t bad at all right now, despite what happened.

And there’s one very big reason why.

It’s because I have the BEST GIRLFRIENDS IN THE WORLD.

It’s true.

Your life could be sliding to hell in a hand basket but as long as you’ve got girlfriends to see you through, things aren’t all that bad.

My friend Michelle takes me to the drive in movie theaters when the weather is better and we watch scary movies with the top down on her Mini, eating popcorn while hunkering down under blankets.

My friend Barbara goes with me to The Table for brunch on the weekends then goes to Glow Candle Lounge so that we can make candles together and shoot the breeze.

My friends Marina and Cynthia are my temptress friends, always inviting me to get out and have fun with them – which usually means heavy flirting with mostly inappropriate men. Oh, the fun!

And there is my cousin Jennifer, who may not be around all the time, but certainly manages to make me forget all my troubles when I’m around her and just have an enjoyable time.

Having a boyfriend is not the end-all-be-all to having a happy life. The longer I am single, the more I realize how incidental it is.

But my girlfriends, now THEY ARE ESSENTIAL!

In the Name of Love

I went to the U2 concert in San Jose with my BFF Michelle.

Yes, we are Michelle and Michelle. I get it. It’s funny.

The concert was magnificent. U2 played some new songs and a whole bunch of their old hits like:

  • Vertigo
  • Sunday Bloody Sunday
  • Real Thing
  • Mysterious Ways
  • Angel of Harlem
  • Bullet the Blue Sky
  • In the Name of Love
  • Beautiful Day
  • With or Without You
  • Where the Streets Have No Name
  • I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

As far as concerts go, it was outstanding.

The only downside was that it took people so long to get up out of their chairs and start dancing.

Michelle remarked that it was very Silicon Valley-ish to sit through the action advocacy anthems like Sunday Bloody Sunday and Bullet the Blue Sky.

And the woman behind Michelle was complaining when people stood up.

It’s a concert, lady. Take a chill pill, smoke a blunt, and get with the times.

All in all, we had a fabulous time and I enjoyed myself immensely.

Next up:

Elton John at Harvey’s Lake Tahoe – August 8

The Foo Fighters at Shoreline Amphitheater – September 16

Bone Bash at Shoreline Amphitheater – September 19

Got a lot on tap right now, especially with Burning Man coming up August 30 – September 7.

Yay!

Juice Cleanse?

I’m not sure when juice cleanses became so ubiquitous.  A quick google search turns up a Huffington Post article on how people are swapping their trip to the coffee shop for a trip to the juice bar.  Everyone is going green as a way to detox their body.

Now, I’m skeptical that anything you do on a temporary basis to your body will have a long term impact on it, but okay, I’m open minded.  I have a friend Amy, a very smart friend, a very loving friend, a very NORMAL friend, who tried a juice cleanse.  Of course her juice cleanse was lemon juice, water, and a little something extra we like to call cayenne pepper.

She was trapped in a cabin in Alaska at the time of her cleanse and all she’ll say about it is, “I was very VERY cranky.”

Yeah, I’d be cranky too with my stomach lining all irritated with cayenne pepper.  I just hope their loo was indoors.

I have another friend Michelle, who frequently goes on an elimination diet to get her health back in order.  Again, a very smart, very loving, and very normal human being.  She swears that she feels a huge different in her health and her energy when she’s on an elimination diet.

So what’s the big whoop-de-doo about juice cleanses?

Well, I’m about to find out because I just bought a 3-day juice cleanse from Groupon.

Now I’m not sure if 3 days is long enough to feel results. But I am sure that I can probably keep up a juice diet for 3 days and likely not much longer.

I’ll miss chewing.

The Man I Can’t Forget

I was 34 when I met Jay.

He was the bar manager at a small bar which served amazing craft cocktails.

I was actually on a date with another man.  We were sitting at the bar, and something about they way Jay said my name made me aware that this was an intimate moment.  We fell in love instantly. He was tall with medium brown hair and a slightly crooked nose.

Besides being a bartender, he was a cage fighter, trained in Krav Maga, and Muay Thai.  I never saw him fight.  I never needed too.  He was such a lover it was hard to imagine him fighting anyone.

We traveled all over the Bay Area together.  The world was our oyster and we were living life to the fullest.  On our first trip to Vegas we made love every few hours.  It was pure heaven.

I’d like to say I married him, but instead our relationship rapidly fell apart about 2 years into it due to job stress, mounting debt, and lack of time spent together.

But I’ll always remember him fondly as the one who got away and the man I’ll never forget.

Hopefully he remembers me well too.

And here are a few photos, just to show you what I look like when I am blissfully happy…

j-c2 j-m1
kisskiss2 jellyBelly 155

 

Taking one for the team

imageI dislike being single in bars.

There. I said it.

It’s usually loud, you can’t carry on a conversation, and people can be rude.

Last night, after a great dinner and conversation in a downtown restaurant, my girlfriend and I wound up in a seedy little bar. We were invited to join a group of men who we met briefly at the restaurant. My girlfriend was intrigued by one of the men in the group so we made our way to the brothel hovel.

Let me preface this by saying that right now I feel mighty ambivalent toward men. I don’t hate them. I don’t curse them. I’m not thinking of growing my leg hair and buying a Subaru Outback.

I am simply just not interested in making an effort to get to know anyone.

I would rather just goof off with my friends.

So I was content to just hang out in the booth and let my GF and the new man chat amiably at the bar.

Instead, I got raked over the coals by his friends for being a Scorpio (“dominant bitches who hold a grudge”) and mocked for not giving my number out (“the Los Gatos girl is snobby”).

I totally took one for the team last night.

It was pure torture for me. It was so bad that by the time they sounded last call, I turned to my male companions and said, “Thank God! I can’t wait for my head to hit my pillow.”

Yes. Rudness. Out of me.

And it felt pretty good.