What’s up Tinder?!

What’s up Tinder?!

It’s a hookup culture online.

I could go through men like a woman with hayfever goes through tissues in the spring.

Next!

Next!

Next!

It’s absolutely crazy how frequently I get asked for sex.

Dr. Blockhead is just one of MANY men who proposition me during our VERY FIRST TEXT conversation.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, eh?

Well despite how displeased I am to get asked for sex all the fucking time (like I’m some sort of hooker), there are WORSE situations than that.

Worse than being a hooker?

Impossible.

But oh yes, there is.

My girlfriend suffers from what I call the “Buy me an iTunes card” phenomenon.

She’s been on Tinder a month and in that time she’s had 5 guys ask her for money – usually in the form of an iTunes gift card.

What?

Why an iTunes card?

But even more dumbfounding is that they’re asking at all.

Grown men.

Supposedly employed.

Are they looking for a sugar mama?

And if they are, shouldn’t they look like Zac Efron or George Clooney and not a paunchy, middle aged, balding engineer with poor taste in polo shirts?

I’m just saying.

Fishing for Money

I happened upon another Tinder profile.

This one, seemingly normal with once exception.

On his profile picture there was a watermark stating “sugardaddie.com.”

For real.

Now.

What kind of man ADVERTISES that he’s looking for a woman who is looking for a man with money?

It defies logic.

Is he super wealthy and just wants to land some playmate-esque lady to keep him company in exchange for him keeping her comfortable?

I don’t get it.

Don’t men WANT to be like for WHO they are not HOW MUCH MONEY they make?

It’s like me advertising that I have 38G breasts.

Then I’d get a butt load of men interested in me for my physique and not my stellar personality.

Not to mention my humility, right?

I swiped right, against my better judgment.

He has “superliked” me, after all.

Might as well see what he has to say about the topic.

You know, so I can write ANOTHER blog post.

So I shot off a message:

“You do realize your profile pic has a “sugardaddie.com” watermark on it?”

And we shall see what he says.

 

UPDATE:

Read his response yourself.  Apparently he can balance an investment portfolio but cropping a picture is above his pay grade.

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I’m selling a kidney to pay for Burning Man

I’m selling a kidney to pay for Burning Man. PM me if you need one.

I’m not kidding when I say that Burning Man can be expensive. Of course, I don’t think it’s expensive for everyone. I’m sure there are people who are great at finding deals, salvaging equipment, and designing costumes.

I’m not one of those people.

I keep hoping I meet and fall in love with someone who is handy like that.

Of course, it doesn’t help that I’m programmed to go overboard when it comes to the activities I pursue.

I famously spent $1000+ on my $59 Boudoir Photo Shoot – hair, makeup, outfits… it all adds up.

I sat down and made up my “Round 2” list of items I want to buy for Burning Man. It included things like:

Gold eyeliner – for face decorating, natch

Love glasses – to broadcast my love

Glow-in-the-dark body paint – because you never know when I might have a body to decorate J

Here are the four more expensive items on my list:

Bike trailer – $114.99

Green fur jacket – $54.46

Absinthe fountain – $58.99

Absinthe lollipops – $300 for 200 lollies

Now mind you, I still have to have my tent trailer serviced and plan all my food for the trip. So it’s a good thing I have 12 paychecks between now and when the Man burns.

It’s also good to have a friend like Jeep, who I’ve now known for a year and is willing to help me check out the electrical and gas in my tent trailer.

He also wants to make me dessert for his birthday celebration, so there’s that too.

LOL