Goodbyes

I must be in a 70s frame of mind because I’m all about the Muppets and Donny and Marie Osmond.

I actually think for my memorial, a long LONG time from now, I’d like to have the closing song to the Muppets play:

Nothing like ending with a little humor.

Of course I want everyone who attends to dress up in colorful clothes and bring the quilts I made for them to decorate the chapel.

Of course, it did occur to me that perhaps The Muppet Show’s closing song MIGHT be a little too casual, in which case I love the final song from the Donny and Marie Show:

May tomorrow be a perfect day

May you find love and laughter along the way

May God keep you in His tender care

‘Til he brings us together again.

Goodnight everybody!

Seems rather appropriate for a memorial.

W.A.P.

I heard a song today that LITERALLY made my jaw drop.

And I’m going to tell you about it in case you, like I, don’t always know about current mainstream popular music.

My daughter told me this is a few weeks old.

BTW, THIS IS TOTALLY NSFW!

Here is the music video with EDITED lyrics:

[NOTE:  I couldn’t find the music video with explicit lyrics, but you can READ the lyrics here.]

Now, a few things stand out.

Song lyrics such as:

Wet ass pussy make that pullout game weak.

Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet ass pussy.

I do a kegel while it’s inside.

I want you to park that big Mack truck right in this little garage.

And that’s just a smattering of the song lyrics.

I can’t help myself, the song is catchy and I can already tell will quickly become an annoying earworm:

There’s some whores in this house.

While I was writing this post and listening to the song, my SON came into my bedroom and insisted I turn off this song.

“Why?” I asked, “why would you not tell me about this song?”

“Because if YOU get it stuck in YOUR head then that means you’re going to get it stuck in MINE!”

So there you have it.

This is the song that no millennial wants their Gen X parents to listen to.

Respond appropriately.

Don’t be a spectator

Years ago, I had an amazing piano teacher named Jane.

Jane would come to my house and work with me on new piano pieces and I must’ve spent at least two or three years under her tutelage.

Among other things, Jane was a HUGE Beatles fan.

So naturally, she bought me an anthology of Beatles songs that was about 3 inches thick.

The Beatles library is vast!

Anyway, for a young adult who had only been taught classical music, it was a nice change of pace and I reveled in my newfound musical opportunities.

I learned songs like “When I’m Sixty Four,” “Octopus Garden” and “Hey Jude.”

The anthology has long since disappeared but the other day as I was listening to my friend (who is an amazing blues vocalist) sing Beatles songs, it hit me. . .

I should learn the Beatles again!

Who doesn’t love the Beatles?

I mean, if I learned it when I was 20, what’s stopping me from picking it up again and trying my hand at it?

It could prove useful to a lot more people than just myself.

I feel the energy of Burning Man flowing through me reminding me to contribute something.

Don’t just be a spectator.

So, I bought a compilation of Beatles sheet music, for intermediate piano players.

And thus the great Beatles experiment begins.

Rachel Lark

Today, something MAGICAL happened.

I got to watch Rachel Lark perform live from the comfort of my bed.

Indeed, she hosted a brunch livestream of her playing the ukulele and singing favorites like “Warm, Bloody and Tender,” “Picard” and “The Unicorn Song.”

I’m not sure I’ve said enough good things about the talented Ms. Lark.

I was first introduced to her music through my dear friend Dante who swore I would LOVE her and boy was he right.

I was lucky enough to see Rachel perform live at Burning Man at Dustfish in 2017 (I think).  I was with Tejas and Brad and they both looked a little sick when she sang “Warm, Bloody and Tender.”

Today, I made the leap and joined together with about 400 other people in supporting the wonderful Rachel Lark through her Patreon.

Yup.

So I’m just putting it out there, if you are looking for a good source of laughs, tears, and entertainment in isolation at home, consider supporting this lady right here who can help you out!

 

Big Sexy Weekend!

It’s been quite a week for me, and we’re only on Tuesday.

I’ve had to recycle some blog posts because I’ve been so busy.

The Big Sexy Weekend was a BIG HUGE SUCCESS.

First, Nadine and I stopped in Port Costa for a drink at the local pub.

It turns out I didn’t even KNOW Port Costa existed, but now I know it’s there and you can stay in a hotel which was formerly a bordello.

Incidentally, the difference between a bordello and a brothel, is that a bordello is usually a higher-class establishment.

I looked it up out of curiosity.

We went on to Sacramento and hit Big Sexy Brewing for beers.

Nadine had stout, I drank Belgian golden ale.

Both were delicious and MUCH beer was imbibed.

As a bonus, the Blue Angels were flying overhead and so we enjoyed an impromptu air show while we were there.

There was a dunk tank (I managed to miss every time), a hoop performer doing a dance with LED hoops, and a woman who danced with long silk fans.

It was amazing.

The band that played (and sorry am I that I have forgotten their name) was something else.

The lead singer had a voice like Bob Dylan – all raspy, like he gargles with glass/

The music was a combination of influences including Southern Rock, Jimi Hendrix, and more.

All in all, a good time was had by all and I didn’t even mind that at some point in the evening a truckload of firemen showed up.

BONUS!

Who doesn’t enjoy attractive men in tight blue shirts?!

Not me!

Tahoe Trip: Rock, Paper, Scissors

If I told you that the concert that I went to at Harvey’s Lake Tahoe with Sting and Peter Gabriel, two brilliant Englishmen, was AWESOME I would be understating the experience.

It was MORE THAN AWESOME.

It was epic.

A once-in-a-lifetime experience.

History in the making.

Sting shaved off his beard and was looking particularly devilishly handsome.

Especially when he rocked his hips during “Sledgehammer.”

I’ve never been fond of sledgehammers, but at the moment I was convinced that he could “sledgehammer” me and I’d be quite happy with the outcome.

My sister and I drank nothing but water at the concert so we were sobering up as the concert progressed which might be why I remember more of the end of the concert than the beginning.

Of course it could also be that they pulled out all the stops as the concert climaxed.

My heels, which I’d been wearing ALL DAY since 5 am, failed me and so I had to sit for most of the concert and watch the show on the Jumbotron.

Here are some of my favorite pics from the concert:

IMG_9948 IMG_9949
IMG_9952 IMG_9955

 

Belly dancers, flow performers, and 4-handed massages, OH MY!

I went to an OUTRAGEOUSLY wonderful party this past weekend.

It started with a simple Village Meeting and quickly developed into something bigger, more festive, and filled with all sort of unique characters and costumes.

Personally, I LOVE these parties.

Someone sang Adele’s version of a Bob Dylan song called “Make You Feel My Love” and it was heart wrenching.

There were belly dancers with swords and those little metal finger instruments that go ding, ding, ding.

Castanets?

Then we had a performer show off his spinning skills with light up wands that portrayed images from this year’s Burning Man theme of Metamorphosis – BUTTERFLIES!

It was awe inspiring.

I personally climbed into the big limousine cuddle puddle for some quiet time and snuggling.

Burner parties are the best.

Everyone is encouraged to bring their talents to share with others and I must say, it really turns into a showcase.

Some displays that were there but that I missed included wax play, ropes, and a quiz to find your kinks.

That’s right.

Take a quiz to discover your kinks.

There was also a couple giving 4-handed massages.

Can you imagine what that feels like?

Oh, and the cocktail – The Frisky Whiskey – was delicious, complete with a red vine straw to sip from.

Personally, I got some GREAT advice about my son’s situation, something that’s been weighing on my mind lately.

I saw old friends and made new friends and honestly, I just HAD A BLAST!

You throw THE BEST parties Bad Boy!

Thank you for hosting.

None of this is safe for work

I’m not entirely sure how I found out about bawdy storytelling.

It all started with Richard Cheese (aka Dick Cheese) who my sister introduced me to one day.

Admittedly, he is less bawdy and more lounge singer. . .

Then my fondness for inappropriate lyrics expanded with Rachel Lark.

I think it was my friend Dante who clued me in to the bawdy songstress.

I listened to her songs and laughed my ass off, listening to the graphic lyrics of ‘Warm, Bloody and Tender.’

And I was lucky enough to see her play at Dustfish at Burning Man.

I’m only too happy to share my love of bawdy storytelling with new friends I make.

And the other day, I got into a bawdy storytelling war with my new friend Nathan.

He saw me my Rachel Lark and raised me one Steven Lynch.

Have you heard his song about a gerbil?

Oh God!

You’ll blush but you’ll laugh.

I brought up Garfunkel and Oates.

Who hasn’t heard ‘The Blowjob Song’ or ‘The Loophole’?

Of course, none of these songs are appropriate and you must come back and listen to them when you’re in the privacy of your own home.

None of this is safe for work.

unSCruz 2018: Playground for adults

The thing about unSCruz is that it’s EXACTLY LIKE A PLAYGROUND FOR ADULTS.

All the things you wish existed out there in the world for you to enjoy exist within unSCruz.

Art.

Music.

Would you like to join in a cuddle puddle on a flying ship?

Done.

Take nude photos with a professional photographer?

You can have it.

Learn about kinks you never knew you had?

Wish granted!

Something that TOTALLY BLEW ME AWAY this year was the Rainbow Trike Track.

Basically someone built a mini tricycle track inside one of the warehouses at unSCruz and you could hop on one of the rainbow trikes (think Big Wheels for adults) and get squirrely on the track!

I know!

So much fun!

Open bars?

Yes please (though no outside alcohol is allowed in unSCruz)!

In my heart of hearts, my home away from home will always be Ali Bar Bar.

And they had a magnificent new marquee!

And of course, the best and sexiest bartenders!

unSCruz even had a BURN!

And it was a great burn because the man lit up beautifully but didn’t fall down for quite some time.

More blaze for everyone to enjoy!

All in all, quite the magnificent trip and so worth all the effort that went into planning and executing.

Tahoe Trip: Rock, Paper, Scissors

If I told you that the concert that I went to at Harvey’s Lake Tahoe with Sting and Peter Gabriel, two brilliant Englishmen, was AWESOME I would be understating the experience.

It was MORE THAN AWESOME.

It was epic.

A once-in-a-lifetime experience.

History in the making.

Sting shaved off his beard and was looking particularly devilishly handsome.

Especially when he rocked his hips during “Sledgehammer.”

I’ve never been fond of sledgehammers, but at the moment I was convinced that he could “sledgehammer” me and I’d be quite happy with the outcome.

My sister and I drank nothing but water at the concert so we were sobering up as the concert progressed which might be why I remember more of the end of the concert than the beginning.

Of course it could also be that they pulled out all the stops as the concert climaxed.

My heels, which I’d been wearing ALL DAY since 5 am, failed me and so I had to sit for most of the concert and watch the show on the Jumbotron.

Here are some of my favorite pics from the concert:

IMG_9948 IMG_9949
IMG_9952 IMG_9955