Harder than Chinese algebra

I’m not a huge fan of long hair on men.

It’s why Nadine and I make SUCH GOOD WINGMEN for each other.

I like the clean-cut, bearded ones.

She’s like the long-haired, baby-faced ones.

I’ll take Bruce Willis and Joe Manganiello over Ryan Gosling and Jared Leto any day.

BUT. . .

THERE ARE A FEW EXCEPTIONS:

Jason Momoa.

Damn baby!

Mama ain’t gonna kick you out of bed for eating crackers!

You know he and Lisa Bonet are having some HOT SEX!

I want their sex life!

The other man I swoon over is Brock O’Hurn.

You probably haven’t heard of him but he’s a model on Instagram as well as an actor on the rise.

He looks like he was ripped straight off the cover of a romance novel.

And speaking of RIPPED, have you ever seen such a chest in ALL YOUR LIFE?!

He’s harder than Chinese algebra!

Big Sexy Weekend

This weekend I am going with Nadine to the Big Sexy Brewing Company’s Big Sexy Three Year Anniversary and Benefit Party.

It’s in Sacramento.

Nadine has me traveling all over California in search of fun and exciting things to do.

This adventure comes with beer, live music, and a DUNK TANK!

Nothing more fun than getting someone all wet in a dunk tank.

I once rented one for my kids’ birthday party in 2008 and WE HAD A BLAST!

The kids all climbed into the dunk tank and took turns having their friends dunk them.

So I know first-hand how much fun dunk tanks can be.

And I know how much fun Nadine can be.

Add in a few food trucks and a good cause – raising money for diabetic alert dogs – and what you have is one hell of a great way to spend your weekend.

Plan B

I was SUPPOSED to go on a cheese tasting road trip with Stargazer this weekend.

But about four hours before our date, I got a cancellation text from him.

He had a family commitment and then went out for drinks with a friend.

I’m not gonna lie.

I was deeply disappointed.

I’d showered, shaved (pits and pubes, you know the routine), done my hair, packed a sexy nightie, drove for over an hour, and done special makeup for our date so when I got his message, I was sitting outside Nadine’s house waiting for her to arrive, I was fighting tears.

But this is not a post about disappointment.

No.

It’s a post about LOVE.

Because Nadine scooped me up, took me to Korean BBQ and cheered me up.

Even though I wasn’t the most pleasant company.

She said, “We’ll do what we do at Burning Man when Plan A falls apart. . . we’ll do PLAN B.”

And that’s EXACTLY what we did.

We went back to Nadine’s place, drank 2 bottles of champagne (actually prosecco, but who cares), ate sushi and played Cards Against Humanity.

Neither one of us wanted to win after I declared, “You’re a shit person if you win at Cards Against Humanity.”

We drank and ate and laughed and had the most wonderful time.

Nadine promised in the morning that we’d go wine tasting in Livermore together.

And that’s just what we did, right after she picked up cheese and crackers for us to enjoy.

How sweet is she?

We hit Concannon Winery, Ruby Hill Winery, and had a delightful lunch at Garré Winery.

This post is all about love, maybe not the romantic kind of love that poets write sonnets about.

Maybe it’s only the kind of love that people write blog posts about, but this weekend the love of a friend made the a whole world of difference in my life and instead of sitting around feeling sad and rejected, I had a great time with Nadine exploring the East Bay.

And even though I lack the words to fully express my gratitude to her, I hope Nadine knows that I am indebted to her for her kindness.

I think I can say with all honesty Plan B was not too shabby.

Wet towel

I went to a birthday party this past weekend to celebrate my dear friend Nadine’s birthday.

I got her a beautiful custom crafted peacock travel mug.

There’s nothing better than going to a party at Nadine’s.

She thinks of every detail.

This time around there was German beer, French champagne, a bar with a bartender, and FIRE SPINNERS.

I wore my peacock corset, a teal steampunk skirt and a sheer black blouse:

I was thoroughly enjoying myself when I was invited to jump in the hot tub with friends late in the evening.

Why, I don’t mind if I do.

I stripped, wrapped a towel around me and jumped into the hot tub for a soak.

Four other people jumped in with me.

And as we sat there, the fire spinners set up and started to spin fire right in front of our very eyes.

Believe me when I say this:  There is little better than relaxing in a hot tub watching fire spinning.

To quote my Australian friend Charlie, “It was GLORIOUS!”

After the show wrapped up, I got out of the hot tub only to realize that my towel, which was next to the hot tub, was soaking wet because all the bodies in the hot tub caused the water to spill over and soak into my towel.

I had two options – wrap a cold, wet towel around my naked body and head inside or dash naked through the crowd.

I wrapped that cold, wet towel around my body and dashed inside for my clothes.

Mama didn’t raise no fool.

The Right Man

When was the last time I went out on a date I was excited about?

Well. . . one that didn’t end in disaster, like the last.

I’ll tell you, the last date I had that I was genuinely excited for was with my ex-boyfriend Luke.

That’s right.

The one who dumped me after I miscarried.

Hard to believe I ever loved him.

He’s the ex-boyfriend I never think of.

I almost forget him.

Except for the miscarriage.

So let’s just say it’s been A WHILE since I had a great date.

And now, I’m swearing off dating (and sex) until I find someone who truly resonates with me.

Someone I feel connected to.

I simply can’t stomach continuing to go out on dates I’m not excited about with men who don’t even bother to get to know me.

My friend Nadine suggested I wait three months before having sex with someone.

I agreed to four dates.

When I told this to my friend Tom, he suggested 5 dates.

I balked.

Five dates!

That’s an ETERNITY.

“The right man will wait 50,” says Tom.

And maybe he’s right.

It got me thinking about past relationships and the connection I felt with the men I loved.

I miss that connection.

It’s not rocket science.

You meet someone you’re into who is into you and VOILÁ!

A connection is formed.

For me, it happens swiftly.

One minute I’m swearing off sex and dating and the next minute I’m madly in love.

Steampunk Peacock

My dear friend Nadine is having a birthday and I get to celebrate with her.

I celebrated last year at her party with a gorgeous LED stone necklace and a dress to die for:

This year, we’re doing something different.

Last year’s theme incorporated Nadine’s favorite colors – teal and lavender.

This year’s theme is Steampunk and Victorian.

Nevermind that I have two steampunk outfits and a Victorian outfit already assembled in my garage.

What I really need to do is create ANOTHER costume.

Starting with a peacock corset.

Ouch!  That thing just looks like it’s going to hurt, but you can’t say it’s not beautiful.

The next thing I need is a really VIVID TEAL shirt, with skirt hikes to bunch it up in the front like a proper steampunk princess:

Finally, there’s the blouse, a nice sheer black one which will complement the peacock corset very nicely:

As for the present, I delved into Nadine’s love of all things peacock to find a custom present for her.

I think she’ll love what I got her.

And of course, she has all my love.

Happy birthday love!

May you have another blessed spin around the sun.