Bitch Slap

It was a relaxing weekend.

I did next to nothing ALL WEEKEND LONG.

That’s sort of par for the course, when sheltering in place.

I watched Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

And E.T.

I guess I’m in an 80s mood.

I also went to Rene home which he now shares with his new girlfriend.

I brought along a friend so I woudn’t have to drive all the way to Seaside by myself.

The food was delicious, but the company was extraordinary.

It’s always good to see old friends.

Especially ones you can tease mercilessly.

What most people don’t know is that once upon a time, when Rene was married, his wife bitch slapped me for twirling my hair.

Apparently, it was a pet peeve of hers.

So she cracked me one right across the face.

This story gets told time and again to all of Rene’s girlfriends.

Each time, they are shocked.

Rene’s new girlfriend was suitably appalled on my behalf.

And you know what?

I twirled my hair in front of her and guess what?

No bitch slap!

That’s a win in my book.

I should be so fucking lucky

Hi!

I’m back.

Literally NOTHING is going on, though.

Work continues.

Sheltering in place continues.

I’ve managed to sneak out of my house for a date or two, but THAT’S ABOUT IT!

This weekend, a dear old friend Rene is hosting a small barbecue with his girlfriend.

I’ve opted to invite a friend to come with me so I don’t have to drive alone to the party which is in Seaside.

It should be a lot of fun.

Rene is very good at food in general and barbecue in particular, judging from his last get together.

Also, he has spare bedrooms so we can stay the night without worrying about driving that treacherous Highway 17 late at night after 2 beers.

Anyhow, all this is to say that I’m going to be meeting Rene’s new girlfriend for the VERY FIRST TIME and I’m excited.

It’s not every day that I get to meet Rene’s new girlfriend.

If luck would have it, they met right before lockdown and moved in together soon after so I’m very intrigued to see who has won over his heart so quickly.

He literally invited me over “their house.”

Isn’t that sweet?

Yeah, I thought so too.

I should be so fucking lucky.

STOP IT

My friend Tom, who I’ve written about here is now happily dating a fabulous woman.

He wrote a powerful blog post about his previous roller coaster relationship and it’s worth the read just to have sentences like:

“Chiseling away at the rotten foundations of something keeping an entire reservoir of crap I needed to let go of” and

“Hey, didn’t you see that red flag?  The one you just went flying right by?”

and

“Trainwrecks are exciting too.  Do you want to live on one?”

drop like bombs into your psyche and resonate with your own twisted relationship experiences.

I sent Tom this video to watch because STOP IT is the first thing I think of when someone tells me that they’re afraid of sabotaging their wonderful NEW relationship:

Of course, what with me skipping out on meeting the new guy’s family, Tom had a choice video to send to me as well:

My new friendship is so balanced and healthy, I’m unsure what to do with myself and FOR SURE I’m afraid to leap in with both feet.

But it’s not because I’m enjoying my perfect image of him in my head right now.

No.

It’s because I’m afraid if he digs a little further and I open up he’ll realize that I’m damaged and won’t want me any more.

Of course, that’s just an irrational fear I have that I will need to get over.

With the new guy or anyone else who comes along.

I’m rather good at confronting my fears:  sailing, flying airplanes, racing cars, learning to OM, running with the bulls, etc.

So I don’t anticipate this will be a HUGE impossible hurdle for me and the new guy to get over.

It looks like I need to just take some of my own medicine and just STOP IT and enjoy myself.

I didn’t sleep a wink last night

cryI didn’t sleep a wink last night.

Insomnia is a real bitch.

It gave me plenty of time to dwell on the bombshell that dropped on me yesterday.

He has a new girlfriend.

Yes, the man who dumped me because he didn’t have enough bandwidth for a girlfriend and wanted to focus on family has hooked up with a new girlfriend.

One month ago yesterday we were waking up in bed together, now he’s got someone new.

Does that seem a little fast for you? Perhaps a little insensitive as well?

Yeah, it does for me too.

But what can you do? No one said life is fair. No one said that you would be treated with respect and kindness.

Fall down 7 times, get up 8. That quote keeps ringing through my head.

I’m just wondering how many more times he plans to kick me while I’m down.