It could only happen to me

I had a date last night.

It was with a man who (I was positive) was a “SURE” thing.

He basically begged me to come over his house after we shared some provocative pics the night before.

Needless to say, I took special care when getting ready.

I bathed (always important).

I shaved (even my legs).

I refreshed my makeup and put on lipstick.

I was all set to roll in the hay, should the opportunity present itself.

And I full expected the opportunity to present itself.

I should know better.

As it turned out, he was not a sure thing.

Not even close.

I instigated a hug when I met him.

I kissed his cheek.

I flirted with him over dinner.

I don’t know how I find these guys.

Finally, after making small talk for about 3 hours, I asked if he wanted a drive home.

He’d walked the 0.3 miles from his house to the restaurant.

I was being polite, but secretly I was hoping for an invitation in.

He turned me down.

And gave me a dry peck on the lips goodbye with these parting words. . .


I don’t want you to BEHAVE!

I want you to do wild and crazy things with me!

So there you have it.


It could only happen to me. . .


60 days down, 30 to go.

So you want to know the truth about abstinence?

I thought it would be harder for me, given my proclivities.

I was sure I would suffer miserably.

But the truth is, it hasn’t been that hard.

No pun intended.

You see, I haven’t really been around temptation.

The Swede is in Sweden.

The Photographer cancelled on me twice.

And since no one else has asked me out. . . well, here I am two-thirds of the way through my committed abstinence period and I’m doing A-OK.

Oh sure, I’ve had fantasies about getting it on.

Who wouldn’t?

And I’m TOTALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO my abstinence coming to a close.

It’s been an interesting exercise.

But I learned one thing:

When sex is taken out of the equation, it’s easier to figure out who you want to spend your time with and who you don’t.

There are some people I just don’t want to hang out with when sex isn’t an option.

Meaning there’s no substance to the relationship.

Then there’s people I LOVE hanging out with – both men and women.

I’ve learned to cultivate those relationships more and let the other ones fall by the wayside easier.

I have to admit, rather sheepishly, I’ve also been kinda bitchier than usual, especially to men.

It’s not that I’m a ball buster, it’s just that I’m more tolerant of myself when I’m grumpy and less inclined to fake being in a good mood.

For example, I had a friend who cancelled on me due to illness.

When he called to reschedule, I was feeling cranky because I’d been cancelled on SEVERAL TIMES that week.

And so I said NO RESCHEDULE.

Normally, I would have MADE myself reschedule with him.

I can’t tell you how giddy it made me feel to just follow my mood and say no.



But honest.

3rd and 9

The trick about taking a vow of celibacy is that I’m finding ways to skirt around the issue.

So I’m not supposed to have sex.


I can do that for 90 days,

But all the energy I normally pour into my assignations now has nowhere to go and so it’s leaking out in semi destructive ways:

  1. More sexting that ever before, this time with good friends (potentially damaging the friendships).
  2. A strong desire to hook up with single male friends for “snuggling and hair pulling” (I mean what I say and yet who am I kidding, THIS IS TOTALLY SEXUAL FOR ME).
  3. Outrageous porn consumption (‘nuf said).

I mean, yes, I’m making it through but no, it’s not pretty.

Hopefully my single guy friends can handle seeing me naked when I sext them and will still be friends with me later.

It’s sort of a Catch-22: I want to be good and limit my sexual activities but the energy is redirected into me exploiting activities on the fringes of my sex life – hair pulling, snuggling, back scratching, kissing, etc.

In a way, I like it.

It’s like one LONG foreplay sesh that lasts 90 days.

On the other hand, it’s TORTURE.

So wish me luck.

I am only 3.5 weeks into my vow.

9 more to go!

Shits and giggles

After the snuggle/hair pulling sesh a week ago, I came up with the AWESOME idea of finding another man to do this to me:

Snuggle (clothes on) and pull my hair.

No sex.

So I posted a rather cryptic message on FB, figuring I should farm my friends for this kind of activity instead of new (dating) prospects.

And what I got was a ground swelling of men willing to do exactly that.

Snuggle and pull my hair.

One guy asked if I wanted to be pulled around the room BY MY HAIR.


Another guy asked me out on a date.

And yet another (non single yet curious) guy tried to figure out how to make this happen for me.

One particularly randy gentleman asked if he could massage my breasts too.

No, it’s just snuggling and hair pulling.

Clothes never come off.

And then it occurred to me that some of these men might be safe (aka respectful of my vow of celibacy) to do this with and others are TOTALLY NOT SAFE.

In fact, this BRILLIANT idea I had turns out to be NO SO BRILLIANT.

But I put it out there in the universe and the universe responded with abundance.

Just for shits and giggles I should ask for back scratches too.

Cuz those are THE BOMB.

2017 Virgin

michelleSo far, for the ENTIRE YEAR OF 2017 – all 9 days of it – I am a virgin.

Yes, I have had no nookie so far this year.

Not a hint.

Not even a suggestion.

Although there was this stimulating sext I had with a friend the other day. . .

And I did have a lovely makeout on New Year’s Eve.

But TECHNICALLY, no sex.

Nine days of not getting any started me thinking, PERHAPS I SHOULD EXTEND THIS PERIOD OF ABSTINENCE IN MY LIFE.

Maybe I should withhold from mattress dancing for a little while until I feel like I’m not jaded, bitter and cranky.

You can be sure that if I do this, a LANDSLIDE OF HOT EROTIC SEX will present itself in my life.

Because if there’s one thing you can count on it’s me needing to eat crow on a repeating and regular basis.

Eat those words, Michelle!

My friend Barbara would be delighted.

She believes that when you start dating someone, you should put them on 90-days of probation.

As in 90 days of NO NOOKIE!

Yeah right!

Honestly, me playing hard to get is waiting until the 4th date.

Sad, but true.

So what’s a girl to do when presented with this opportunity?

Seize the challenge!

So I hereby declare that I am going SEX-FREE for the next 90 days, come hell or highwater.

Wish me luck!