Still lusting after the good ones

I have roughly 500 friends on Facebook.

Yesterday, as an experiment, I counted how many of my Facebook friends were ex-lovers.

Out of 500, there were 18.

18 ex-lovers – 16 men and 2 women.

Hey, I had an experimental phase.

No current lovers, mind you.

As I was making my way through the list of friends, I had to do a double take a few times and ask myself, “Did we sleep together?”

Sometimes the answer was “No, we just OMed.”

There are nearly 50 men on Facebook who I OMed with.

Other times, the answer was, “No, we just fooled around a bit but no sex.”

Like with my friend “Nathan” who I used to watch porn with and let him grope me.

And even still, the answer was occasionally, “No, but I REALLY wanted to.”

And there are SEVERAL men who fall into that category.

If I counted all the people who I’ve had some sort of sexual activity with, I’m sure my number would jump in leaps and bounds.

Truthfully, I was surprised there were that many ex-lovers on my Facebook page.

Historically, I’m not the best at keeping in touch with past partners.

I guess Facebook is heralding in the age of long term friendships with exes.

I don’t think that’s a bad thing.

It’s actually quite nice to see them doing well and having a good time.

And of course, still lusting after the good ones!

About that OMmersion. . .

o-faceSeveral months ago I gave up OMing. I had good reasons why I gave it up and since then I haven’t looked back or regretted my decision.

Imagine my surprise then to learn I was staying in a mini OM camp on the playa.

Yes, indeed.

At least 6 people in my camp were active members.

In the beginning, conversation was filled with talk of OM.

So much so I felt excluded from the group.

Gradually, however, people started to chat about other things.

Then on Day 5 I hung out randomly with a burner from New York.

An OMer.

And he asked me to OM.

And briefly I was tempted to say yes.

Because I remembered the connection and not the other things that made me quit.

In the end, I turned him down but I certainly was thankful for the ask.

And staying in a mini OM camp wasn’t that bad.

There was a lot of connection and affection between my camp mates that warmed my heart.

And it was quite beautiful to see.

 

My OM (Orgasmic Meditation), reposted

My OM class was on Saturday.  When it comes to orgasm, no one knows it better than the One Tasters.  Indeed, one taste of it is all it took and I’m ready for more.

Let’s begin at the end… with my grinning face walking around the One Taste studio on Market Street in San Francisco.

And why was I grinning?

Because I’d just had an OM – 15 minutes of a man stroking my clit.

And it was awesome (not surprisingly).

I felt ripples of pleasure moving like waves through my pussy. [Note: the One Tasters love to use the word “pussy”]

My partner was a total stranger to me before that day.  He was an older athletic gentleman named Stan from Santa Cruz.  He said he liked to have fun and he was so forward about it he was like a little kid with ADHD.

But I didn’t care.  I found him physically attractive and could handle his over-the-top enthusiasm and energy for our activity.

When we began, Stan suffered from a case of “can’t find the clit.”  He was close, but not there.  He was everywhere but there.  I should have said something but then an instructor came by and showed him the right way to do it and BAM… we were on like Donkey Kong.

I found myself staring at the ceiling, at the side of Stan’s face, and back up to the ceiling again.  Then I closed my eyes.

Breathe.  Relax.

What do I feel in my body?

Warmth.  Pressure.  Pain.  Pleasure.  Heat.  Waves. Tingling.

It was hard to quiet my mind and pay attention to what was happening to me.  I though about how odd it was that I was doing this with a stranger [I would have loved to do it with my friend Jack of Jack and Jill fame.]

After 15 minutes of this delightful practice, Stan and I wrapped up our activities and shared a frame – a moment of sensation during the OM.  I talked about ripples.  Stan talked about what a beautiful pussy I had.

Then Stan turned to the class and publicly thanked me for OMing with him.  He announced to the class that I had a beautiful pussy.  And admitted he had a stiffie from our practice.  To a room full of people.  :-0

Well, he was honest.

Later, Stan asked me for my number.  Instead I asked for his.  Never know when a girl might need another OM.

All in all, this was a great experience and one I am likely to repeat again  I felt so energized and alive and that feeling is lingering with me even as I write this.  I have a feeling there’s a lot more to learn about OM and I’m interested in learning more.

I am going to be a turned ON woman.

The Maestro

It’s hard to explain the charm of The Maestro to people who haven’t met him.

He’s Captain America, Stephen Hawking, and Pee Wee Herman all rolled into one.  Universal sex appeal, intelligence, and a delightful wicked side.

The other day The Maestro and I shared an OM.

He left his signature on my butt and took a picture of it for me.

That simple act made me so HAPPY.

He talked me through some tricky feelings about Tejas.  And for that I am grateful.

I try to imagine giving him up for a relationship and I get uncomfortable.

Which brings me to my question – what do you do when you OM and you have a relationship?  Just keep OMing with other people?  Become OMagamous?

Well for now it’s a hypothetical question for me.

Kissing The Maestro

It’s no secret that I adore The Maestro.  He is one hell of a man with hands that could make a Stradivarius cry.

The other day we had an extraordinary OM.

I felt every single stroke.  I was so present in the OM there wasn’t a thought in my head besides what I was feeling.

It was undiluted eroticism.

I was transported.  Floating on another plane.  Feeling like I was outside my body.

After the OM, The Maestro and I melted into each other for a kiss.  It was hot.  Reactive.  I felt my body become magnetized to his.

The kiss deepened.  We were pulling at each other, trying to get closer.  And closer.

At a certain point, I realized that I was lightheaded.  The Maestro had kissed me senseless.  I was a 13 year old schoolgirl in the body of a 41 year old.  And it was incredible!  When was the last time someone kissed you so good you forgot your own name?  When was the last time you were kissed back to high school when everything was new and exciting?

I’m not sure if The Maestro and I will ever go any further than we’ve already gone.  But I can tell you this.

I am now confident I’ve experienced a new level of connection in my sex and it’s exquisite.

More, please.

How I Came to OM

You learn things from everyone you date. The things you learn linger long after the relationship ends. And even though you may resent the individual, when their passion becomes your passion, you are forever resigned to acknowledging their role in it for a lifetime to come.

Such it was with Jay and cocktails/spirits.

So it is with Dave and OMing.

I first heard about OMing from my ex-boyfriend Dave, a professor with 4 advanced college degrees, Dave was brilliant. Handsome. And experimental. He was testing his boundaries and discovering new interests. Let me tell you that OMing was one of his tamer interests.

One day he told me about Orgasmic Meditation.

“So there’s this finger and this clit…” He tried to demonstrate to me how my perception of sensation was dulled.

I laughed. Called him crazy. But okay, I’ll try most anything.

So we OMed.

It was awkward. I didn’t know what I was supposed to be doing. Supposed to be feeling. Was this realty going to last 15 minutes? What if I climaxed? What if I didn’t?

When it was all over I thought it was just another crazy activity that he tried. I called it diddling his life away.

But something stuck with me – the feeling of connection. Something I was sorely in need of.

And so it only took me 5 years (and 2 failed relationships) to screw up the courage to take my OM Basics course.

And the rest is history.

Juice cleanse FAIL

So my day was supposed to go like this:

7 am – drink 16 oz water

8 am – drink 16 oz green drink

9 am – drink 16 oz water with smoothie mix in it.

10 am to 12 pm – drink 24 – 48 oz water

12 pm – drink 16 oz green drink

And we’ll just stop there since I didn’t make it very far in the regime.

THIS IS HOW MY DAY ACTUALLY WENT:

7 am – sleep

8 am – sleep

9 am – wake up and drink 16 oz water

9:30 am – choke down 16 oz of green drink (a mixture of lettuce, parsley, collard green, and apple juices).  Almost vomit twice.  Debate my ability to complete a juice cleanse as I’m dry heaving over the sink.  Commence peeing every 10 minutes.

10 am – attempt to dissolve smoothie mix in it.  Mix won’t dissolve.  Decide it must be sand and pumice since that’s what it looks like.  Manage to drink it down and keep it down.  Feel very impressed with self.  Pee at least five time in an hour.  Feel like kidneys are floating away from me.

10:30 am – drink 48 oz of water.  Discover that drinking this much water makes it hard to OM since you have to pee ALL THE TIME.

11 am – OM.  Manage to get through it peeing three times.

11:30 am – drink tasty juice drink made fresh by OM friend.  Decide that his juice is much better than the garbage I’m gagging on.

12 pm – go home to have another green drink.  Discover homemade biscuits for my boys.  Eat one cheesy,butterfly biscuit.  Feel slightly guilty but can’t stomach any more green drink.

So I can sum up my experience on a juice cleanse in one sentence:

Homemade biscuit – 1, juice cleanse – 0

Flogging

The other day, I was with the Maestro when he pulled out his impressive black and red leather flogger.  We’re talking a big, handmade flogger, not the flimsy kind you find in your average sex store.

We proceeded to flog each other lightly with it.  It felt good to be flogged, contrary to popular perception that it’s really painful.

It feels like a nice stimulating massage.

About halfway through flogging him, I remembered something my friend Lisa had told me, “Flogging open the heart chakra.”

It is said that every body has seven major energy centers that radiate through the body, both front and back.  These centers are called chakras.

Ah ha!  I’d love to have my heart chakra opened.  Most of the time I feel so disconnected from people, it’d be nice to be grounded and connected again.

I could imagine getting flogged and OMed by the Maestro.

But what else can I do to open my heart chakra?

  1. Get out in nature – let the green surround me and breathe in it.
  2. See green – visualize a strong, clear green light filling my heart center.
  3. Give love – balance and open this chakra by loving others unconditionally and unselfishly.  Don’t forget that includes loving myself.
  4. Practice yoga – the camel pose is very helpful for opening the heart chakra.
  5. Be thankful – appreciate what you already have.

So what do you think?  Do I have a blocked heart chakra that needs opening?

You might be an OMer if…

I know, I’ve only been OMing for two months, but I’ve noticed a few funny things about OMers so far.  Eccentricities, if you will.  Here are my top 50 reasons why you might be an OMer if…

  1. You take your lube with you everywhere you go.  Have lube, will travel.
  2. You don’t bother putting on underwear because it’s coming off in an hour.
  3. You feel a kinship with the Energizer Bunny.  You keep going, and going, and going…
  4. You call all your washcloths “pussy rags.”
  5. You keep latex gloves in your bedside table.
  6. You buy two different color washcloths – one for face and one for pussy.
  7. Every time someone says “thank you” you perk up like Pavlov’s dog.
  8. You’re so good at giving adjustments you can help a friend parallel park a car on a dime in SoHo between a moving van and a Porsche.
  9. You’ve ever sounded like you’re taking a shit when you’re climaxing. You beast!
  10. You wear skirts for easy access.
  11. Your right foot falls asleep on a regular basis.
  12. The sound of an ombu makes your pussy quiver or your left index finger twitch.
  13. You have a preset 15-minute timer on your smartphone that sees more activity than the actual phone.
  14. You start to use the phrase “there was a moment when…” in your daily life.
  15. You’ve ever used One-Stroke during sex.
  16. You’ve planned your wardrobe around how easy it is to take on and off.
  17. The words “hot seat” get you excitedly uncomfortable.
  18. You’ve ever fallen in love with a stroker/strokee without even knowing his/her name.
  19. You ask for “safe porting” whenever you’re doing something new.
  20. You find that sleeping with your legs butterflied open is incredibly comfortable and soothing.
  21. You refer to foreplay as “the lube stroke.”
  22. You’re flattered when someone calls you a beast.
  23. You’ve ever mistaken a squeal of joy for a woman climaxing IRL.
  24. Your left index finger has seen more pussy than Wilt Chamberlin.
  25. You ask people to describe what emotions feel like in their bodies.
  26. You’re closest friends have all stroked your pussy.
  27. You’ve stroked the pussies of all your closest friends.
  28. Your “little black book” includes frames.
  29. The concept of surrender is part of your daily mantra.
  30. You always write “turn on” as “TurnON.”
  31. You’ve ever thought you broke your clitoris.
  32. You refer to your yoga mat as a “nest.”
  33. You have pillows designed for “head” and “legs.”
  34. You own a zafu.
  35. You give noticings during sex.
  36. You talk about how good a man’s hands are with reverence and awe.
  37. Opening a jar of coconut oil gives you shivers.
  38. You’ve refused to kiss someone until the nest gets put away.
  39. You’ve made out in a nest.  Oops!
  40. You’re constantly correcting “on” to “OM” on your phone.  Damn autocorrect!
  41. You’ve ever asked someone to be your #1 or #2.
  42. You’ve ever said, “An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away” and meant it with every cell in your body.
  43. You love the word “stroke.”
  44. You’ve ever posted anything to your Facebook page that ends in “love, Your Orgasm.”
  45. Your neighbors think you get more pussy than Hugh Hefner.
  46. You’ve ever washed your pussy while sitting on a toilet.
  47. You’ve ever exchanged frames after sex.
  48. You’ve EVER used the phrase “burrito the nest.”
  49. You have a dedicated nest in your home.
  50. You’ve ever rearranged furniture in your room to make room for a nest.

And just for laughs and giggles, here are a bonus five reasons why you might be an OMer…

  1. You’re comfortable taking off your pants in a room full of people.
  2. You’ve ever asked for “more grounding” and it has nothing to do with electricity.
  3. You own a shirt with the word “orgasm” on it.
  4. Someone has to stroke your pussy first before you’ll decide if you want to make out.
  5. You like being handled.

There you have it, my short list of what might make you an OMer.  How many of these things have you done?  Do you have any additions to this list?  Email me at michelle@unblunder.com.

List Additions:

  1. Danielle from San Jose:  The words “one o’clock” always make you think of a clit.