It’s not what you’re thinking.
I’m not going to tell another story about some guy’s tacky advances on Tinder.
Or mention again that I got ghosted by the last guy I dated.
Instead I’m going to share with you that I got a little action last weekend.
It’s been months since that happened and I was happy to break my abstinence streak, or so I thought.
Turns out, when you haven’t done the deed for a while, things down there aren’t as robust as they normally are.
And vigorous activity can lead to some discomfort.
I spent the night at a friend’s house.
I’m not one to turn down ANOTHER romp in the hay but let me tell you, it is possible to DO IT TOO MUCH.
And then you have to stop.
Briefly, I thought, “Well, MAYBE I can sneak in another session without my nethers screaming too loudly at me that it hurts. . . “
But no, I must inform you that there are times in a woman’s life when her vagina must exert dominance over her libido with a loud and resounding, “NOPE!”
I’m not gonna lie.
Burning Man was HARD ON ME.
The best comparison I can think of is that it was like climbing through a meat grinder – you come out the other side and you’re all there but you’re drastically changed.
I experienced a painful lesson in radical exclusion. So painful in fact, that I still can’t think about it without crying and it tends to take over my entire perception of my burn.
Pain. Exclusion. Hurt. Rejection.
With time, I expect that the hurtful parts of my burn will fade and the pleasant and fun memories will take over.
But for now, I sit here writing this post in tears, trying to make sense of what happened and wondering whatever happened to the Burning Man principle of Radical Inclusion.
While on vacation I decided to do something brash. Foolish, some might even say.
I got my nose pierced.
The first question out of everyone’s mouth is the same:
“Did it hurt?”
The answer to that is YES, OF COURSE IT HURT. A 14 GAUGE NEEDLE WENT THROUGH MY NOSE.
I actually flinched when I got pierced.
My boys and my sister were there and they saw it. Gavin photographed the piercing and he took some good photos of me freaking out:
Although it was momentarily painful, I am so pleased with the results.
Even my boys who were quite confident that I’m too old to have my nose pierced, were happy with the result, although somewhat reluctantly.
I hear this a lot from my boys, “You’re too old for that.”
Apparently I’m not just too old for nose piercings but also monokinis and Burning Man. If they associate it with their generation, then I’m just too old for it, according to them.
What I hope they learn from me doing all the crazy and wild stuff I do is that age is merely a number and that lifelong learning is the key not just to happiness but also to youthfulness.
I can’t imagine how boring I’d be if I wasn’t doing all the things I do and I’m dumbfounded that my boys would wish for that kind of a mother.
Can’t they see I come alive when I’m trying out something new?
My Aunt Stacey and cousin Jennifer got their noses pierced the same week! Look how beautiful they are: