Age like Christie Brinkley

I went to a party this week and talked to a bunch of people.

As is typical for me, I tended to hang out with my friends instead of meeting new people, which is the WHOLE POINT of a party.

[No wonder I’m single.]

While I was there, an older woman approached me and gave me a lovely compliment.

She told me I had great skin.

I thanked her and told her my secret: SUNBLOCK and YOUTH.

I grew up in California.

I remember being a teenager and slathering myself with baby oil while laying out in the backyard.

But ever since I worked in a spa in my 20s, I’ve religiously applied sunblock every day.

I don’t avoid the sun though.

I go to Burning Man, after all.

It’s nothing but sun and dust.

When it comes to my youthful appearance, I like to quote Carrie Fisher:

It’s just a matter of time until I look older.

I miss my 19-year old EVERYTHING!

And although I’m quite pleased with what my DNA has made me into, it’s impossible to ignore that I’m not going to age like Christie Brinkley.

Happy 2020!

It’s 2020 and so far the year has started off with a bang.

Or four bangs in four days.

So much is going on!

I had a lovely New Year’s Eve.

I primped before the event with a scrub and an oily massage at the Korean Spa.

Then I got my hair done.

I got all dolled up and went to a party in Aptos where there was a champagne toast, livestreaming of the ball drop AND a balloon drop.

So much fun was had!

I even ran into a gentleman I met in the summer of 2018 who I lost track of but never forgot.

He was my first kiss of 2020!

I let the blog go by the wayside while I’ve enjoyed my time off but it’s time to return to the regularly scheduled broadcasting.

I hope you too are enjoying your 2020!

Happy New Year!

Birthday!

My birthday is coming up!

Last year I hosted a Bohemian Rhapsody themed birthday party at the premiere of Bohemian Rhapsody, the Freddie Mercury biopic.

Two years before that, I hosted a pirate’s pub crawl in Campbell with my friends.

All very fun.

This year, I’m going to my aunt and uncle’s house in Castro Valley to celebrate a late Halloween party.

I’m dressing up as a Lizzo-inspired performer.

Quite frankly, that’s as close as I can get to that bad ass bitch.

I’m excited, however.

Getting another year older is NBD.

It’s a luxury denied to many so I remind myself as I start to feel my creaking knees and spot gray hair on my head that I should be thrilled.

Lord knows that but for the grace of God, or the unraveling of the universe, I might not be where I am today.

Celebrating my birthday with family and friends.

I plan to celebrate my birthday for as long as I can and see as many friends and family as possible.

It’s just a BONUS that there’s costumes involved.

Woot!

Big Sexy Weekend

This weekend I am going with Nadine to the Big Sexy Brewing Company’s Big Sexy Three Year Anniversary and Benefit Party.

It’s in Sacramento.

Nadine has me traveling all over California in search of fun and exciting things to do.

This adventure comes with beer, live music, and a DUNK TANK!

Nothing more fun than getting someone all wet in a dunk tank.

I once rented one for my kids’ birthday party in 2008 and WE HAD A BLAST!

The kids all climbed into the dunk tank and took turns having their friends dunk them.

So I know first-hand how much fun dunk tanks can be.

And I know how much fun Nadine can be.

Add in a few food trucks and a good cause – raising money for diabetic alert dogs – and what you have is one hell of a great way to spend your weekend.

Sequins and pearls and beads, oh my!

There’s a quinceañera party for the village (it’s turning 15 years old) and I need to come up with a quinceañera outfit for a quinceañera happy hour party.

Ironically enough, I have a grape-colored quinceañera dress in my costume bins.

I wore it to a wedding at unSCruz that was inspired by the movie Labyrinth.

I paired it with delicate silver wings, hair jewels, and a delicate silver choker..

It seemed like the perfect dress at the time – big, floofy, and very very bejeweled.

Which brings me to the problem I’m running into:

Bejeweled dresses are at high risk for mooping.

So I can’t wear my current quinceañera dress on the playa.

I need something else.

Also?

Quinceañera dresses are notorious for taking up tons of space in storage, so I’m not thrilled that I’ll be packing a dress that takes up TONS OF SPACE in my travel bins.

And quite frankly, quinceañera dresses are not the most flattering type of dress for my body type.

Take a nice curvy body and throw a shit ton of fabric at it and you get a cupcake.

In that order, those are my quinceañera dress concerns:  MOOP, space, and flattering cut.

I do happen to have a white dress (for White Wednesday) that I might be able to repurpose into some sort of quinceañera-like dress, though it won’t be as fluffy or fancy.

To make up for it, I’m thinking I’ll wear a crown or a tiara – both common practices at quinceañera parties – and call it a costume.

I’m not thrilled that it’s white.

White seems awfully bridal and when you add a tiara, the results are very. . . ahem, nuptial.

Also?

I’m worried about the crown losing it’s jewels on the playa.

More MOOP!

This is what I struggle with – trying to make a non-MOOPY costume out of an inherently MOOPY activity.

 

Wet towel

I went to a birthday party this past weekend to celebrate my dear friend Nadine’s birthday.

I got her a beautiful custom crafted peacock travel mug.

There’s nothing better than going to a party at Nadine’s.

She thinks of every detail.

This time around there was German beer, French champagne, a bar with a bartender, and FIRE SPINNERS.

I wore my peacock corset, a teal steampunk skirt and a sheer black blouse:

I was thoroughly enjoying myself when I was invited to jump in the hot tub with friends late in the evening.

Why, I don’t mind if I do.

I stripped, wrapped a towel around me and jumped into the hot tub for a soak.

Four other people jumped in with me.

And as we sat there, the fire spinners set up and started to spin fire right in front of our very eyes.

Believe me when I say this:  There is little better than relaxing in a hot tub watching fire spinning.

To quote my Australian friend Charlie, “It was GLORIOUS!”

After the show wrapped up, I got out of the hot tub only to realize that my towel, which was next to the hot tub, was soaking wet because all the bodies in the hot tub caused the water to spill over and soak into my towel.

I had two options – wrap a cold, wet towel around my naked body and head inside or dash naked through the crowd.

I wrapped that cold, wet towel around my body and dashed inside for my clothes.

Mama didn’t raise no fool.

Party time!

Lately, I’ve been so busy I’ve missed out on some awesome family parties.

My aunt joked that if she wanted me to come to one of her parties, she’d need to make me a hostess with her.

And that’s exactly what she’s done.

My aunt and I are throwing a backyard BBQ summer party in June.

It’s going to be so. much. fun.

The last time we did this was nearly two decades ago and my great-grandmother let us use her home for the party.

What fun we had!

There was a silly string war.

And awesome baby back ribs.

I don’t get to see my birth family as much as I should so I’m dedicating an entire weekend to hanging with my blood.

First, I’ll have my BBQ with my birth father’s side of the family, then a 60th birthday party for my birth mom.

I’m really looking forward to it.

And just because my aunt is the family photographer, here are a couple of pics from previous parties:

Belly dancers, flow performers, and 4-handed massages, OH MY!

I went to an OUTRAGEOUSLY wonderful party this past weekend.

It started with a simple Village Meeting and quickly developed into something bigger, more festive, and filled with all sort of unique characters and costumes.

Personally, I LOVE these parties.

Someone sang Adele’s version of a Bob Dylan song called “Make You Feel My Love” and it was heart wrenching.

There were belly dancers with swords and those little metal finger instruments that go ding, ding, ding.

Castanets?

Then we had a performer show off his spinning skills with light up wands that portrayed images from this year’s Burning Man theme of Metamorphosis – BUTTERFLIES!

It was awe inspiring.

I personally climbed into the big limousine cuddle puddle for some quiet time and snuggling.

Burner parties are the best.

Everyone is encouraged to bring their talents to share with others and I must say, it really turns into a showcase.

Some displays that were there but that I missed included wax play, ropes, and a quiz to find your kinks.

That’s right.

Take a quiz to discover your kinks.

There was also a couple giving 4-handed massages.

Can you imagine what that feels like?

Oh, and the cocktail – The Frisky Whiskey – was delicious, complete with a red vine straw to sip from.

Personally, I got some GREAT advice about my son’s situation, something that’s been weighing on my mind lately.

I saw old friends and made new friends and honestly, I just HAD A BLAST!

You throw THE BEST parties Bad Boy!

Thank you for hosting.

ABC the hard way

I’ve given up on wearing a latex dress for the ABC (Anything But Clothes) party.

I don’t want to be steamed like Instapot cauliflower by wearing such an insulated fabric.

Also, it’s pretty unforgiving to lumps and bumps, of which I have a few.

And it seems like it’s not quite in keeping with the theme of the party to BUY a latex outfit and call it ABC because it’s TECHNICALLY not fabric.

So I’m back to the drawing board.

I’m pretty sure I’m going to use garbage bags for my outfit.

I’ve found a few inspirational pics online which seem to indicate that using garbage bags and duct tape is a viable option for making an ABC outfit.

Maybe I can make a cardboard corset or get a plastic belt to liven up ALL THAT BLACK:

Or maybe I should embrace the futuristic appeal of the outfit and buy THIS hat:

All I need is a black Japanese motorcycle and a Doberman with a spiked collar.

Pleasure Party

After working a 12 hour day, I decided to take a detour on my way home and stop by my friend Melissa’s Pleasure Party.

It was a treat to hang out with an eclectic bunch of women fascinated by a discussion of all things pleasurable.

Our pleasure consultant was knowledgeable, skilled, and funny which is a prerequisite if you’re going to give a sex talk.

Much humor is needed.

Also needed are jello shots…

Our consultant had a whole table of toys including Lelo, bullets, oils, massage creams, candles, vibrators, dildos, and more.

My favorite part of the evening was when the consultant demonstrated how a little sleeve called Mimi could make giving a blow job that much easier.

All in all, a great time was had by everyone.  And I got to see my girl crush.

That was worth the price of admission.

So what did I buy?

Lotions, potions, and things that go BUZZ in the night.

Happy girl!