Fortunes

I have a theory about fortune cookies.

If you get a fortune you don’t care for, just leave it on the table and the fortune goes away.

But if you get a fortune you like, you have to keep it on your person and it will come true.

At any given time, you can find a half dozen or so fortunes stuffed in my wallet.

The other day, I got THIS fortune with my Panda Express order:

A long awaited vacation?

A great deal of pleasure?

Am I going to Sweden?

Cuz that way pleasure lies.

Oh, how I miss my Swede.

Then again, maybe it’s referring to Burning Man.

When I think of all the things I want to do at Burning Man, I get warm and fuzzy feelings inside.

My cuddle puddle.

The foam bath dance party.

Human Carcass Wash.

Saunadome.

Given the fact that I’ve been abstinent since unSCruz in May, I LOVE the idea of having a “great” deal of pleasure coming my way.

It just remains to be seen which form that pleasure comes in.

But overall, this fortune?

It’s a keeper.

10 Reasons for Guys to Love Giving it

Recently, I found out from a friend that he does not give oral sex. Not even to reciprocate. “I’m such a lazy fuck,” he joked. Besides being disappointned in him, I had an “a-ha” moment as I thought back to our own anti-climactic romp. This post is for him.

  1. Oral sex extends pleasure. Penetration is fleeting. If you want to have marathon sex, take a little time on her alone.
  2. Oral sex increases the odds of a simultaneous orgasm. Men usually make it to the finish line first, but if you add a little oral in, it’s more likely you’ll cross the finish line together.
  3. You can slow down and appreciate our body. Take it all in and savor some alone time with our body.
  4. The feeling of our fingers in your hair. It’s just a nice way to get a scalp massage.
  5. The underboob. While you’re down there, this is a great way to admire the view.
  6. It’s better than a foot rub. Much better. And the rewards are outstanding.
  7. You can focus on what matters. The c-spot can get ignored during sex. Oral sex gives you an unobstructed view to enjoy it.
  8. It strengthens the connection between you. Sex is not as intimate as oral sex and when we’re both focused on eachother’s pleasure there’s a sexy connection that develops.
  9. Sexual karma. Reciprocation isn’t a rule, but it’s definitely likely to happen when you’re generous with us.
  10. You’ll feel like a rock star. You get to watch every sensation, gyration, and shudder move through your partner’s body. And the sounds she’ll make…