I have a theory about fortune cookies.
If you get a fortune you don’t care for, just leave it on the table and the fortune goes away.
But if you get a fortune you like, you have to keep it on your person and it will come true.
At any given time, you can find a half dozen or so fortunes stuffed in my wallet.
The other day, I got THIS fortune with my Panda Express order:
A long awaited vacation?
A great deal of pleasure?
Am I going to Sweden?
Cuz that way pleasure lies.
Oh, how I miss my Swede.
Then again, maybe it’s referring to Burning Man.
When I think of all the things I want to do at Burning Man, I get warm and fuzzy feelings inside.
My cuddle puddle.
The foam bath dance party.
Human Carcass Wash.
Given the fact that I’ve been abstinent since unSCruz in May, I LOVE the idea of having a “great” deal of pleasure coming my way.
It just remains to be seen which form that pleasure comes in.
But overall, this fortune?
It’s a keeper.
Recently, I found out from a friend that he does not give oral sex. Not even to reciprocate. “I’m such a lazy fuck,” he joked. Besides being disappointned in him, I had an “a-ha” moment as I thought back to our own anti-climactic romp. This post is for him.
- Oral sex extends pleasure. Penetration is fleeting. If you want to have marathon sex, take a little time on her alone.
- Oral sex increases the odds of a simultaneous orgasm. Men usually make it to the finish line first, but if you add a little oral in, it’s more likely you’ll cross the finish line together.
- You can slow down and appreciate our body. Take it all in and savor some alone time with our body.
- The feeling of our fingers in your hair. It’s just a nice way to get a scalp massage.
- The underboob. While you’re down there, this is a great way to admire the view.
- It’s better than a foot rub. Much better. And the rewards are outstanding.
- You can focus on what matters. The c-spot can get ignored during sex. Oral sex gives you an unobstructed view to enjoy it.
- It strengthens the connection between you. Sex is not as intimate as oral sex and when we’re both focused on eachother’s pleasure there’s a sexy connection that develops.
- Sexual karma. Reciprocation isn’t a rule, but it’s definitely likely to happen when you’re generous with us.
- You’ll feel like a rock star. You get to watch every sensation, gyration, and shudder move through your partner’s body. And the sounds she’ll make…