Size Six

God!

You know how I LOVE lingerie?

AND Burning Man?

Well, I’m perpetually shopping for items I can bring to Burning Man, especially LINGERIE, since lingerie and bathing suits seems to be par for the course on the playa.

And fuck me for not having a size six body, it would be SO MUCH EASIER if I did.

Instead I have to get custom work and shop plus size rave clothing.

It’s not easy.

Especially since I stumbled across Bad Star Lingerie!

Well, fuck me with a knife and call me Stanley, I literally DROOLED ALL OVER MY COMPUTER SCREEN.

One of the looks I like is the bathing suit layered over a strappy harness.

It’s comfortable, lightweight, but edgy.

Something about it says “grab me by a strap and pull me to you.”

Bad Star Lingerie has THE MOST GORGEOUS PIECES YOU CAN IMAGINE.

So lovely.

So lovely in fact that I suspect I’d choose to wear them along with some pasties covering my nipples.

HOWEVER, that look probably works best on a size six frame.

So all you burner girls out there with tight size six bodies, here you go.

This one’s for you. . .

Being me

I just had a very difficult conversation.

A new friend saw THIS picture of me, taken about 7 years ago:

Of course, as you all know, THIS is what I look like now:

Yes, there have been some changes. No, I’m not thrilled about all of them.

Nevertheless, I think I’m a pretty lovely human being and sexy in my own right.

So it was hard to hear someone say, “The images that you showed me – from a few years back – you looked dramatically different.”

Gulp.

Oh dear.

“Did you have a major health issue?” he asked.

The answer, of course, is YES.

I did have a health crisis which is over now.

But the medications I’m on to manage my illness themselves cause health problems.

It’s a double edged sword.

I suppose I could feel bad about the conversation.

In the end, I opted to take it at face value, a friend telling another friend that he was in her corner when it comes to being healthy.

The truth is, what I look like is the LEAST of what makes me beautiful.

So whether I’m a size 14 or a size 24, I’ll always feel happy with who I am.

Curvy Girl

On Sunday, I got all gussied up and went with a friend to a Fashion Show.

A fashion show for curvy women.

And, as it turned out, it was an ALL LINGERIE Fashion Show.

Now, I didn’t tell too many people I was going to a Curvy Girl Fashion Show.

Mostly because I don’t like to ADMIT that I’m a curvy girl.

I have this RIDICULOUS notion in my head that if I don’t admit it, then it’ll escape their notice that I’m a size 14 and not, oh… say a size 2.

Not that I aspire to be a size 2.

I certainly like my BIG boobs and butt.

But I digress. . .

I spent an hour watching scantily clad women walk down the runway, strutting their stuff.

img_0323And strut they did.

ADMIRABLY so.

Bodysuits, chemises, stockings, and baby dolls paraded by, one after the other.

For an ALL-WOMEN audience, naturally.

No sleazy men lurking in the background, although the event was live streamed over the internet for anyone to watch.

In the end, I really enjoyed myself and gained a greater appreciation for body diversity.

And, of course, the fact that my swag bag came with a free “SCREAMING-O” cock ring* didn’t hurt.

Not at all.

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*Did I mention the fashion show director owns a sex toy business as well as a plus size lingerie business?!

Plus on the playa

So I’m having a little trouble finding an accurate representation of me on the playa at Burning Man.

All the pictures I see are of petite women wearing nearly nothing. Very beautiful ladies, indeed.

But where are the goddesses? Where are the Amazons? Where are my curvy ladies?

I’m guessing that with 60,000 people descending on the playa, there’s got to be some body diversity among the women. But you wouldn’t know it to look at the pictures.

It’s a little troublesome as I try to organize my wardrobe for the event. I have no one to model my outfits after.

Can I wear a bikini on the playa? Will I be the only curvy lady wearing one? Will there be body hate on the playa like there is in real life?

Am I obsessing over this a little too much?

Probably.

I know what you’re all thinking…. Just wear what I want to wear.

And in theory I agree with you.

But I’d feel soooo much better if I could just take a peek as the diversity of styles on the playa, including women with ample boobs and butts.

Just saying.

There’s not much representation of Plus on the Playa.

Mom bod in a bikini

Wearing a bathing suit is a pretty traumatic experience for me, and I’m sure it is for many women out there.

I’ve adopted a sure fire method of coping with all the thoughts going through my head when I’m in a swimsuit – I FAKE IT.

There’s really nothing else to do, except miss out on all the fun and I’M NOT ABOUT TO LET THAT HAPPEN!

Which is why I’m so excited that there is a movement out there to put swimsuits on every body which are gorgeous and sexy and the antithesis of those ugly skirted one piece bathing suits which used to be reserved for “fat chicks.”

I went a little nuts at swimsuitsforall.com and bought three bathing suits – a black strappy one piece and two bikinis.

Check out the one piece. . .

suit1Now check out the bikinis. . .

bikini bikini

Aren’t they awesome!

Who wouldn’t feel sexy in a swimsuit like this?

My goal, this summer, is to take a picture of myself in these swimsuits and post them online (here and on Instagram) with the hashtag #myswimbody.

Of course I’ll have to silence all those negative voices in my head screaming “No one wants to see your thighs! What about your cellulite?!   And your belly? You need to lose weight!”

I look at the pictures of plus size women in bathing suits and think they’re beautiful.

Perhaps someone will look at my pics and think I’m beautiful too. . .

There exists a possibility.

Besides, why pass up an opportunity to embarrass my spawn?

I live for these moments.

Mom body in a bikini?

Perfect!

Plus on the playa

So I’m having a little trouble finding an accurate representation of me on the playa at Burning Man.

All the pictures I see are of petite women wearing nearly nothing. Very beautiful ladies, indeed.

But where are the goddesses? Where are the Amazons? Where are my curvy ladies?

I’m guessing that with 60,000 people descending on the playa, there’s got to be some body diversity among the women. But you wouldn’t know it to look at the pictures.

It’s a little troublesome as I try to organize my wardrobe for the event. I have no one to model my outfits after.

Can I wear a bikini on the playa? Will I be the only curvy lady wearing one? Will there be body hate on the playa like there is in real life?

Am I obsessing over this a little too much?

Probably.

I know what you’re all thinking…. Just wear what I want to wear.

And in theory I agree with you.

But I’d feel soooo much better if I could just take a peek as the diversity of styles on the playa, including women with ample boobs and butts.

Just saying.

There’s not much representation of Plus on the Playa.

Dangerous Curves

I have a board on Pinterest called “Curvy: Plus Size Inspiration.” It basically exists so that I can remind myself that women are beautiful at all different sizes and you don’t have to be a size 2 to be sexy.

I can’t tell you how happy it makes me feel about my own body to see other women with similar curves and I only wish that mainstream media would show a little more body diversity to help developing girls love their bodies and be happy with themselves.

All this is to say that every time someone pins one of my pins on Pinterest, I get an email notice. And I’ve got to tell you that it thrills me to report that THIS PIN GETS THE MOST PINS AND ALMOST ALL OF THOSE PINS ARE FROM MEN.

That’s right. There are men out there who more than like curves, they love curves and they have their own Curvy and BBW Pinterest boards out there as well. In one week the image has been pinned by:

  • Michael Lee
  • Will Potter
  • Don Smith
  • Andrew Lopez
  • Milan
  • Joe Evans
  • Chad
  • Mike Davis
  • William Domo
  • David Moskow
  • Chris D
  • Brent Lewis
  • Royce Gibson
  • Datoine Tate
  • Josh C
  • Grav Rush
  • and John Clark

In particular, I love this image that all these men seem to gravitate to because I could totally rock the dress the model is wearing. In fact, I’ve even found a similar dress online:

So there you have it… beauty in all different shapes and sizes can be appreciated by many men out there. There’s no reason to hate my body because it doesn’t fall within the narrow range of standards set by the fashion industry.

Hell, in Renaissance times I’d be known as A TOTAL BABE!

Plus on the Playa

So I’m having a little trouble finding an accurate representation of me on the playa at Burning Man.

All the pictures I see are of petite women wearing nearly nothing. Very beautiful ladies, indeed.

But where are the goddesses? Where are the Amazons? Where are my curvy ladies?

I’m guessing that with 60,000 people descending on the playa, there’s got to be some body diversity among the women. But you wouldn’t know it to look at the pictures.

It’s a little troublesome as I try to organize my wardrobe for the event. I have no one to model my outfits after.

Can I wear a bikini on the playa? Will I be the only curvy lady wearing one? Will there be body hate on the playa like there is in real life?

Am I obsessing over this a little too much?

Probably.

I know what you’re all thinking…. Just wear what I want to wear.

And in theory I agree with you.

But I’d feel soooo much better if I could just take a peek as the diversity of styles on the playa, including women with ample boobs and butts.

Just saying.

There’s not much representation of Plus on the Playa.

Calvin Klein and “plus size”

Recently, designer Calvin Klein has come under fire for hiring model Myla Dalbesio, a size 10 figure, and holding her up as an example of a PLUS SIZE woman.

Plus size typically refers to size 12 or larger. Since the average woman is a size 14, Myla falls significantly below what would be considered a typical plus figure.

First of all, I want to say WHY ALL THE HATE? Myla is beautiful, and yes, she is larger than the typical size 0s or size 2s we see in mainstream advertising.

You know what I call that?

PROGRESS.

But just so you know my definition of plus size and what I find beautiful in plus size women, I’m posting some of my favorite pics of plus size women – looking sexy and beautiful in their size 12+ bodies.

Enjoy!

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Swimsuit models

I wish I had Kate Upton’s body, I really do.

Instead I was given Laura Wells’ body.

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This isn’t bad, if you ask me…. lots of curves, big boobs, and a nice cushion to cuddle up against.

Which is probably why even though I like the Swimsuit Illustrated cover a lot (with models Chrissy Teigen, Nina Agdal and Lily Aldridge), I’m really drawn to the curvy version of it featuring plus-size models Robyn Lawley, Jada Sezer, and Shareefa J.

si1 si2

For Christmas last year, my 14 year old son asked for a bikini calendar. I was happy to get him one but I wanted one that didn’t show every woman as a size 0 with implants. I wanted one that showed body diversity and had curvy women as well as slim women.

Well, needless to say there is no calendar like that. (Although there is now)

I wasn’t even able to find an all-curvy women calendar.

If I was a photographer, I’d start making my own calendar, with all sorts of different bodies. Just to showcase diversity and market real life bodies to the population.

If we’re going to help young girls love their bodies and stop the self-hate, we need to get real about putting different shapes and sizes into mainstream media.

Soapbox moment over.

I’m trying to do my part by reminding my son every time he looks as a pic of a model or shows me some sexy woman on his phone, “If that’s what you want and find sexy, good luck finding it. Most women don’t look like that.”

What kind of body type to you like?  All sorts?  Curvy?  Slim?  Athletic?