Armchair travels

It’s been a CRAZY roller coaster month, has it not?

With everyone settling into social distancing and shelter-at-home, it’s become SO FRIGGING EASY TO SEXT IT’S LAUGHABLE.

Not that it wasn’t easy to begin with but I’m noticing that all of a sudden EVERYONE is doing it barely a scant three minutes into texting.

It’s as if we’re all cooped up and our frustrations are building to a fever pitch.

And maybe that’s what’s happening.

Too long going without.

Apparently, there are porn subscriptions being given out for free due to the extraordinary times we are living in.

Personally, I choose to do something more productive with my time and so I’ve started watching YouTube videos on speaking Swedish.

Because I’ve started learning it, so I might as well keep going.

But between you and I, I’m loving this new passport feature of Tinder where you can meet people all over the world.

Breakfast in Paris, lunch in Sydney and dinner in New York City.

Not a bad way to spend a day.

 

3rd and 9

The trick about taking a vow of celibacy is that I’m finding ways to skirt around the issue.

So I’m not supposed to have sex.

Fine.

I can do that for 90 days,

But all the energy I normally pour into my assignations now has nowhere to go and so it’s leaking out in semi destructive ways:

  1. More sexting that ever before, this time with good friends (potentially damaging the friendships).
  2. A strong desire to hook up with single male friends for “snuggling and hair pulling” (I mean what I say and yet who am I kidding, THIS IS TOTALLY SEXUAL FOR ME).
  3. Outrageous porn consumption (‘nuf said).

I mean, yes, I’m making it through but no, it’s not pretty.

Hopefully my single guy friends can handle seeing me naked when I sext them and will still be friends with me later.

It’s sort of a Catch-22: I want to be good and limit my sexual activities but the energy is redirected into me exploiting activities on the fringes of my sex life – hair pulling, snuggling, back scratching, kissing, etc.

In a way, I like it.

It’s like one LONG foreplay sesh that lasts 90 days.

On the other hand, it’s TORTURE.

So wish me luck.

I am only 3.5 weeks into my vow.

9 more to go!

Things that gross me out in pornos

I’ll admit it.

I like porn.

Its fun to watch other people.

I’m a bit of a voyeur when it comes to sex.

I’m also an exhibitionist.

But there are some things that go on in pornos that I CAN’T STAND.

  1. When the man SPITS on the woman to “lube her up.” Spit isn’t lube. Ew, gross!
  2. Rose budding. Don’t even google it. You don’t want to know what it is. You’ve been warned!
  3. Going from anal to oral sex. Just no.
  4. When there’s no foreplay. I can’t ramp myself up without a little foreplay.
  5. When the guy looks like Ron Jeremy.
  6. When the women are obviously faking it. I like it when the actors are INTO what they are doing. Enthusiasm is EVERYTHING!
  7. Make me squirm.
  8. Lots of gagging and salivating during a blowjob. Men, I think, LOVE this. As a woman, I hate it.
  9. I’m just going to come out and say it – eating cum. I don’t mind it in my mouth but it’s not food so I’m NOT going to eat it. TMI?
  10. Plastic women. Give me a girl with a little jiggle and I’m happy.

Sexual Sounds

I have been self-conscious for a long time about the way I sound in the sack.

For one thing, I’m not very loud. It’s not that I’m quiet (I make noise), it’s just that I don’t make all those loud, guttural moans that I hear women in pornos make.

And since starting my OM practice, I’ve discovered first hand how LOUD some woman can be IRL.

Hey, I’ve tried to be loud. I’ve “faked” it with partners before. Every time I felt like a fraud. Did you know that if you spend too much time working on creating what you THINK an orgasm should sound like, your orgasm will RUN AND HIDE.

Too much higher brain, not enough limbic brain.

Since beginning to OM, I’m learning (somewhat) to let go of my expectations and just go with how I feel. I don’t like being quiet but then again, I don’t like being so loud the neighbors have to put in earplugs.

Which makes me wonder, why do women use porn as a gauge for their sex lives? Is porn real? Are the people in porn realistic? How much are we damaging our sexual expectations for ourselves by watching porn?

Now I don’t know the “Rules of Porn” but I’m fairly certain loud women is the norm, because it mirrors on the OUTSIDE what (supposedly) is happening on the INSIDE since we can’t exactly see TurnON on the outside (and I know a bunch of One Tasters who will disagree with me on that statement).

But in any case, if letting it out verbally can enhance what’s going on inside, then I’m all for giving my vocal chords a workout.

I get Turned ON hearing another person Turned ON. Maybe I need to release my fears of being too loud, of being overheard, of sounding ridiculous and just go for it.

Lord knows I get plenty of opportunity in the OMing community.