I was tired and trying to sleep.

Being eight months pregnant, sleeping was difficult.

Can’t get comfortable.

Can lay on my stomach.

Need to put a pillow between my legs.

I was SUPER tired.

Nevertheless, something kept waking me up.

[HINT:  I was in labor]

I’d taken a bunch of castor oil the day before in the hopes of starting labor.

[HINT:  It did!]

So I finally got up and decided to go take a bath.

But as I stood in the tub, waiting for it to fill, a little drop of blood came out of me and dissolved into the water.


I called my doctor’s exchange and waited for a call back.

Meanwhile I began to get increasingly uncomfortable.

I decided to head straight to the hospital, without even hearing back from the doctor.

My ex-husband made me sit in a garbage bag on the ride there and it was then that I realized I was in active labor.

I remember clutching the window frame, trying to breathe through the contractions.

I got into the hospital, was put in a room and the nurse decided to check me out.

I was fully dilated.

There I was, pushing my baby out, with no doctor, only a nurse to help me.

It was crazy fast labor.

[HINT:  I was only in the hospital for 20 minutes before my son was born.]

The doctor took the stairs and managed to get to me before the baby was born.

And that is how Gavin entered this world.

I got escorted out of Target

michelleMany years ago, when I was pregnant with Duncan, I went on a shopping trip to Target with my mom.

We picked up some supplies, mostly baby stuff, and a nursing bra.

Nursing bras have little hooks that you can undo and fold the fabric away from your nipples allowing you to feed your baby.

The nursing bra I bought came in a box. I opened the box when we got to the car and discovered that the bra in the box was different than the bra advertised on the box.

So I went in to exchange it.

Only they didn’t have another bra in the style that I wanted.

Fine, a return then.

But since I had paid with a combination of a gift certificate and a credit card, Target refused to do a return for me.

I don’t know why, but this struck me the wrong way and I got upset and ACTUALLY SHOVED THE COMPUTER MONITOR that the employee was using.

I believe there was a little back and forth between the employee and I that riled me up, but for the life of me I don’t remember the details.

The employee called security who took one look at my big belly and quietly walked me to the door. With my mom following closely behind.

Oh God, the embarrassment.

Later, I called Target with an apology for the employee.

I’m telling this story because my friend Mel shared a similar story of someone heckling her at a Swap Meet and it made me think of this incident.

I just want to tell her – even nice girls can be bitches sometimes.