Tag Archives: presents

Shopping for ex boyfriends

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It’s the holiday season which means I’m in full present-buying mode.

I’m totally on the prowl for awesome gifts I can give to my family and friends.

I click on every Gift Idea List that I cross paths with – Amazon, Forbes, blog-based lists – you name it, I’ve been there.

The funny thing is that I still shop for my ex-boyfriends.

The other day, I saw a beautiful crab fabric on Spoonflower and instantly thought of my ex who had a thing for crabs.

In my mind, I was sewing crab pajamas for him.

And, of course the minute I see hot sauce I think of The Swede who is happily coupled up with a lovely Swedish lady.

I’ve never known someone to be as into spicy foods as he is.

I’m not sure how he still has a stomach lining.

Must be all that Viking food!

Naturally, even though I get the impulse to gift my exes, I never follow through.

That would just be sheer lunacy!

But the urge is there, every time I spot something PERFECT for someone I used to date I think, “Oh, he’d be so thrilled to get this!”

Even after all these years, habits are still hard to break.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year

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It’s my favorite time of year.

The time when I get to pick out presents for my loved ones and show them how much they mean to me.

This year, I’m focusing on my nephews – or The Littles as I call them.

Because my brother and I each had two sets of boys.

Mine are the BIG boys and his are the LITTLE boys.

Hence, The Littles.

It’s an easy way to distinguish between them when we’re discussing “the boys.”

This year, for Christmas I purchased two sets of white cotton pajamas.

Boring, plain old cotton pajamas.

Then I got a tie dye set from Amazon so that The Little can MAKE THEIR OWN PJS!

They love tie dye and I think they’ll enjoy working with all the colors to make something unique and handmade.

Every year, I always get them a personalized ornament with their names and the year and THEIR HALLOWEEN COSTUME.

My oldest nephew was the grim reaper:

My youngest nephew was a zombie from Minecraft:

It’s not easy finding their costume every year on an ornament.

Last year, my youngest nephew was Venom.

I had to commission a Venom ornament from etsy to complete his gift.

This year, I’m also getting something different – a ten inch “layer cake” of white fabric and fabric pens.

I noticed that both boys are really artistic and I thought wouldn’t it make a great gift for their mom (my best friend from 5th grade – yes, my brother married my best friend) to have them design fabric squares over the next few months that I can then make into a quilt for her?

I sure am crafty when it comes to presents and I hope The Littles enjoy what they get.

When Pinterest fails. . .

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I LOVE Pinterest.

There’s nothing quite like having a board with all your links organized by theme on the internet.

Sadly, I’ve discovered some of those links no longer work after a few months or so and it becomes obsolete.

I have a Pinterest board with gift ideas for my family which is VERY outdated.

The links BARELY work.

But the ideas are still there.

So I’ve looked up my favorites in Amazon and am posting them here where I can have easy access to them.

Feel free to poach ideas from this list.

I am a master at giving fun, relevant gifts to friends and family.

 

I bought a custom mug for The Swede and he loves it.  Customize one for any beer lover. And let’s face it, who isn’t?! $22

My mom LOVES these little collapsible bags in fruit shapes and I do too. $13

There’s nothing quite like a letterpress calendar to make me swoon. $25

Boot socks!  Ingenious! $13

Get a journal for any budding writer (or blogger). $11

Galaxy socks.  Out of this world! $13

Sweet pajama top. $17

Cupcake maker.  For the sweet tooth. $27

Wine flight, for the wine enthusiast. $35

Perfect double highball.  Sturdy and tip resistant. $13

Chocolate covered apricots from Marini’s Candies.  Yum! $40

Perfect for the garage or man cave. $60

Wine aerator, for the wine aficionado. $22

Oh how I love amaryllis.  Gorgeous winter blooms! $19

Perfect hostess gift. $17

I have family members who would slay for this game. $29

My team, the Sloth Running Team $15

Release your inner pirate.  $17

Death Wish Coffee – quite possibly the STRONGEST coffee on the market?  Worth a try!  $20

Snarky, but who doesn’t love a little snark? $13

$35 for a deck of cards?  Yes, but look how BEAUTIFUL they are! $35

I love Princess Bride, don’t you? $22

The Discovery Channel’s Planet Earth Collector’s Edition.  Be amazed! $55

Know anyone who likes puzzles AND building this?  Then this. . . $39

Perfect holiday tablecloth for the ENTERTAINER $24

 

F*cking Swedish Meatballs

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Today, as I chatted with my friend Michelle, I realized that I’m doing things specifically to please The Swede.

I bought him a Man Crate for Christmas.

He has to open it with a crowbar.

I picked out a cool shirt for his daughter.

I’m joining a lodge for the Daughters of Norway.

I’m even learning Swedish.

Slowly.

Eventually I’ll be able to say, “Jag kan prata lite Svenska” and actually mean it.

The truth is I like to do things, and learning about my Nordic heritage is just one more worthy activity to occupy my time and keep me engaged.

My only reservation about it is that it is lacking in ethnic diversity.

Oh, sure there are all different age groups represented, though it does tend to skew toward older women but I’ve learned that there are acres of wisdom in older generations.

And how else will I learn how to cook those awesome little Swedish meatballs without someone showing me?!

I got a recipe for FRUIT SOUP during my first lodge meeting.

And it is NOTHING like sangria, which is MY version of fruit soup.

These are the things I need to know.

Yes, so I can impress a man.

He should already be impressed but just in case he isn’t I am pulling out all the stops.

I might not be able to speak the language as well as The Swede speaks English, but at some point I will be able to cook him a Swedish meatball.

I’m obsessed with fucking Swedish meatballs.

😉

 

 

 

That won’t fit!

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luggageThere comes a time in every woman’s life when she has to look closely, inspect dimensions, and declare “There’s NO WAY that will fit!”

Which is exactly what I did when I stared at the pile of clothes and presents I want to bring to Sweden with me next to the suitcase it all has to fit into.

Quite frankly, I’m more than skeptical that it will all fit.

I’m in disbelief.

It’s just not going to happen folks.

And of course, as is my way, instead of getting rid of the wine or the presents or the makeup, I’m eliminating my clothes.

Who needs clothes anyway?

All I need is a fresh pair of underwear and I’m good to go.

One dress, one sweater, one jacket, warm leggings and VOILÁ!

You have yourself packed for Sweden.

I’d like to say that this time around I’m flying by the seat of my pants, but no.

I’m packed a week ahead of time and I have an inventory.

Because I’m neurotic that way.

The good news is that when I come back, I will be 5 bottles of wine and 2 bottles of champagne lighter than when I left.’

I fully intend to drink and gift the wine to The Swede and his friends and family.

Just in case I meet any of them, I’m prepared.

California wine FOR YOU!

AND FOR YOU!

AND CALIFORNIA SPARKLING WINE FOR YOU!

Happy faces, all around!

I’M GOING TO SWEDEN!

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Apparently, when visiting Sweden from a non-EU country, you are allowed to bring in 4L of wine, 2L of champagne, and a bunch of beer.

So I’m bringing in red wine and champagne from California.

I’m bringing two bottles of Chandon Blanc de Noirs, my favorite domestic sparkling wine and 5 bottles of J. Lohr Pinot Noir and Cabernet Sauvignon.

J. Lohr is the family winery, so it’s a given that I’ll be bringing that label to Sweden with me.

I’ve also decided to get a Christmas present for The Swede’s teenage daughter.

It would certainly be awkward to hand out my presents to The Swede and have nothing for his daughter.

So I got her a California sweatshirt and a Stanford beanie.

Because both those places are near and dear to my heart and I want to share.

I’ve started collecting other miscellaneous items for my trip: things like luggage, longjohns, scarfs and sunglasses.

I am basically going to be a walking, talking, brand new woman in Sweden with all new clothes and accessories.

I even purchased brand spanking new panties.

Just because I love the look of a fresh pair.

The trick, of course, is going to be getting it all to fit in my luggage.

I’m relatively limited in what I can bring over, size wise and weight wise.

So I have to be as streamlined as possible.

Lord knows I’m not the greatest at packing light.

For my first Burning Man, I packed 16 bins of costumes, supplies, and food!

So needless to say, this will be a challenge.

But hey. . .

I’M GOING TO SWEDEN!

Don’t Hate

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I know it’s crazy to say this so early in the season.

It’s not even Thanksgiving yet.

But I’ve managed to complete all my Christmas shopping ALREADY.

Can I tell you how satisfied it makes me feel to have all my shopping done?

REALLY SATISFIED.

Like in ways that make me happy ALL THE WAY DOWN TO MY BONES.

I’m insane like this.

The instant my birthday passes, I’m buying up gifts and presents for my loved ones.

I LOVE GIFTING!

It’s my favorite part of the whole holiday (besides the Christmas music).

There is nothing better than seeing the look on my sons’ faces when they open a gift and get all excited.

I know it’s obnoxious of me to be this thrilled with the holidays, but I can’t help myself.

It’s like I’m high and won’t come down until after New Year’s.

Did I mention I also get two weeks off at work for the holidays?

Yup.

Two whole weeks of freedom, sleeping in, and socializing!

If I’ve annoyed you with this post, don’t worry. I do have a confession to make:

Although I’ve bought my Christmas and Hanukkah cards, I don’t have them ready to mail yet.

Gasp!

I know. But nothing says “I’m insane” like sending out your holiday cards BEFORE Thanksgiving, right?

If I could get away with it, you can be sure I would do it.

So have a lovely holiday season.

I hope you’re enjoying it at least half as much as I am!

The post which could make me look like a dork

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20140130-204156.jpgWell, I’m so glad I got that rant out of my system.  In case you haven’t been reading comments, my friend Ivan is a brilliant psychotherapist and makes some great comments about dating here and here.  He also runs a design blog called “Interior Voyeur” which I love.

I talked to Edward last night and it was an enlightening talk.  He agreed to not talk about his paramour unless I ask and I agreed to not send naked pictures of myself to him.  Just semi-naked.  I’m kidding, of course.  But I could be lying about that.

Edward told me he sent me something for Valentine’s Day.  Nothing big, something small and edible.  I personally think he’s serving me CROW PIE.  Wouldn’t that be irony for you?

Capture2So, you know me, I’m not to be outdone and I decide to send Edward a Valentine’s gift too.  Something he and his girls will enjoy.  A Love Bug cookie bouquet.  Because nothing says “I’ll-be-at-home-for-Valentine’s-Day-while-you-are-getting-laid-by-your-lady-love” like a bouquet of diabetes.

And, since Edward’s birthday is on February 13th, I decided to send him some books on adventure and sailing from Amazon (below).

We may be JUST FRIENDS, but I’m a generous friend.  And, that’s true.  I am a great friend and a generous pal.  My friend Michelle will testify to this.  So giving a little when I’m not expecting anything in return is just my way of saying, “Bet you didn’t see this coming.”

That said, I need to develop some hobbies.  Something to do besides trying to date.  Suggestions are welcome….

sail Fifty Places to Sail Before You Die: Sailing Experts Share the World’s Greatest Destinations
50 places The Lost Photographs of Captain Scott: Unseen Images from the Legendary Antarctic Expedition
unnamed South with Endurance: Shackleton’s Antarctic Expedition 1914-1917