Good on paper, bad IRL

I’m constantly torn when I’m internet dating.

If I went out with every guy who showed interest in me, I’d be going out on two dates a night.

Instead, I go out with just the guys I’m attracted to.

That’s a MUCH smaller pool.

I’m just going to go ahead and admit that I almost exclusively use photos to select my dates.

I look for genuine smiles and broad shoulders.

Lately however, I’ve spent more time READING profiles.

And I’m torn.

Is it better to go out with someone you find unattractive whose profile speaks to you? Or is it better to go out with someone you’re simply attracted to, regardless of their profile?

So far, I haven’t had any luck going out with men I’m not attracted to and HOPING that an attraction develops.

Although I can talk myself into kissing just about anyone ONCE, it never pans out for me.

I always wind up caught up in an awkward embrace, trying to keep my lips from being hoovered off while he grabs at my ass like a baboon scratching its butt.

Occasionally I’m pleasantly surprised.

Like with Tony from Sweden who basically kissed me and made my toes curl.

We’re friends on Facebook.


So I’m just curious, is it worth going out with men who look good on paper but maybe there’s less attraction IRL or should I keep plugging away at the men I find attractive?



This not that

MichelleThrough 10 years of off and on online dating, I’ve learned a thing or two about the profiles that appeal to me (can you say “hero complex?”)  Here’s my short list of what works and what doesn’t work when I’m checking out a new profile.

Things I see in online profiles that work for me

  • Men with military experience
  • Men with pictures of their dog/s
  • Firemen / EMTs
  • Volunteer work
  • Pictures taken outdoors
  • Genuine smiles
  • Mention family / kids
  • Pics with their children
  • Eagle Scouts
  • Scuba diving pictures


Things I see in online profiles that don’t work for me:

  • Men taking pictures of themselves at the gym
  • Pictures with other women
  • Men who list what they DON’T want
  • Group photos
  • Bad spelling or grammar
  • Pics with sunglasses or hats
  • No good head shots
  • Bathroom selfies
  • Professional photos
  • Drinking photos