But was it orgasmic?

On Sunday I took to the track, racetrack that is, and I did five laps around the Stockton 99 Speedway.

For those of you who have never been there, the Stockton speedway is teeny tiny. It’s all turns. I basically spent two minutes of my life in a car going fast while making a left-hand turn.

What kind of car was I in? Well to answer you in a highly scientific fashion, it was a green car.

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Was Cole Trickle there? Actually, he was, but he called himself Richie from Modesto and he was obviously so bored with having to drive people around the track that he barely said two words to me. Thank you Richie from Modesto.

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What Richie lacked and interpersonal skills, he made up for in sheer balls-to-the-walls driving.

OR AT LEAST IT FELT THAT WAY TO ME.

Was it thrilling? You bet. Was it ORGASMIC?

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It sure came effing close, but no Big Bang…which is probably good when you’re riding in a race car.

So without further adieu… a 2 minute video of me making left hand turns at a high rate of speed…

But was it ORGASMIC?

On Sunday I took to the track, racetrack that is, and I did five laps around the Stockton 99 Speedway.

For those of you who have never been there, the Stockton speedway is teeny tiny. It’s all turns. I basically spent two minutes of my life in a car going fast while making a left-hand turn.

What kind of car was I in? Well to answer you in a highly scientific fashion, it was a green car.

image image

Was Cole Trickle there? Actually, he was, but he called himself Richie from Modesto and he was obviously so bored with having to drive people around the track that he barely said two words to me. Thank you Richie from Modesto.

image image

What Richie lacked and interpersonal skills, he made up for in sheer balls-to-the-walls driving.

OR AT LEAST IT FELT THAT WAY TO ME.

Was it thrilling? You bet. Was it ORGASMIC?

image image
image image

It sure came effing close, but no Big Bang…which is probably good when you’re riding in a race car.

So without further adieu… a 2 minute video of me making left hand turns at a high rate of speed…

Magic always comes with a prince

Disney loveMagic always comes with a prince

At least that’s what Disney and Hollywood lead you to believe.

Of course lately, there’s been less focus on the prince and more focus on the heroine, but you get the picture – love, above all, makes the story.

And how are we single ladies supposed to feel about this in real life?

Well, I’ll tell you, being single has never hurt my social life. In fact, I think I get out more and do more things simply because I don’t have a partner to hang out at home with eating pizza and drinking beer with on a Saturday night.

Being single didn’t hurt me when I was racing cars at the Stockton 99.

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Being single especially didn’t hurt me when I was leaping from an airplane with a hot man and a parachute strapped to my back.

And it certainly didn’t hurt me when I went to the Alameda County Fairgrounds and ran with the bulls.

photo 4No, being single hasn’t hurt one bit.

Even my more carnal urges somehow manage to get taken care of.

So what then is my life missing without a man to “complete” me?

The answer is nothing.

I have friends and family who give me love and camaraderie and lovers who give me intimacy.

Everything else is icing on the cake.

Sure, it’s magical when life and love come with a prince.

But it sure as hell isn’t required.

Magic, is what you make of it.

But was it orgasmic?

On Sunday I took to the track, racetrack that is, and I did five laps around the Stockton 99 Speedway.

For those of you who have never been there, the Stockton speedway is teeny tiny. It’s all turns. I basically spent two minutes of my life in a car going fast while making a left-hand turn.

What kind of car was I in? Well to answer you in a highly scientific fashion, it was a green car.

image image

Was Cole Trickle there? Actually, he was, but he called himself Richie from Modesto and he was obviously so bored with having to drive people around the track that he barely said two words to me. Thank you Richie from Modesto.

image image

What Richie lacked and interpersonal skills, he made up for in sheer balls-to-the-walls driving.

OR AT LEAST IT FELT THAT WAY TO ME.

Was it thrilling? You bet. Was it ORGASMIC?

image image
image image

It sure came effing close, but no Big Bang…which is probably good when you’re riding in a race car.

So without further adieu… a 2 minute video of me making left hand turns at a high rate of speed…

The Next GREAT Adventure

So what is my next great adventure? I have two upcoming activities which I think qualify as GREAT adventures – Lap Dancing Class and Race Car Driving.

Yes indeed, I went and signed myself up for a Lap Dancing class at Sedusa Studios. I love the Pole Dancing class but since I don’t have a pole at home I figured it was unlikely to get a lot of mileage out of it. Instead, I’ve opted to take the Lap Dancing class, which would come in handy ALL THE TIME if I only had a significant other.

Apparently, there are three kinds of lap dances – “the chair,” “the bed,” and “the wall.” The Chair is your traditional lap dance. The Bed, which is the one I’m taking, teaches you how to give a lap dance with the man laying prone. And The Wall teaches you how to dance when your partner is up against a wall.

Personally, I think this will come in VERY handy…. eventually. I’ve met women who took the class years ago and still remember the routine they learned. So I super excited about this 3 week class.

My second GREAT adventure is race car driving in Stockton on Sunday afternoon. As my friend Jenny put it, “That car will give you a better orgasm than any man.” True but a little more mechanical than I prefer.

In any case, I’m hoping for a cute instructor to help me navigate the course. Because I want my race car experience to come with a little eye candy. Chris Hemsworth would be my preference, but I’ll take Cole Trickle too.

hems trickle