My see-through red dress FINALLY arrived in the mail.
It’s the right size this time, thank goodness.
And wasn’t I surprised to discover that it comes with BUILT IN PANTIES?!
You know you’ve got a dress of questionable style when it comes with knickers sewn into it.
This means that I won’t need to wear the bottoms of my red bikini when I wear the dress, although I suppose for hygiene reasons I really should.
I’m not kidding myself.
I know this dress can only be worn to Burner parties and get togethers.
Out in the Default World, it would be too revealing.
See-through dresses are relegated to the realm of the supermodel and actress.
See Gigi and Bella Hadid or Miley Cyrus and Rose McGowan.
Definitely not destined to be worn by a 46 year old, thick thighed administrator living out her fantasies by playing with costuming and dress up.
But no matter.
You only live once and this dress makes my heart sing.
I’m sure it’s going to come as a GIANT SHOCK to everyone that my red dress arrived and was WAY TOO SMALL to even be considered as a fashion option.
Honestly, it looked like nylons, when I took it out of the box.
I laughed out loud.
Unwilling to admit defeat, I decided to EXCHANGE this dress for one that is bigger.
The good news is that I showed the dress anyway to a good friend of mine.
Like any red-blooded hetero male, he acknowledged that it was an INCREDIBLE dress.
He also admitted that I will look AMAZING in it, regardless if I buy one that is less clingy.
Cling or no cling, it’s a winner in his book.
And it’s a winner in my book too.
I’ve fallen in love.
Yes, I have.
It’s such an easy thing for me to do.
I fall in love ALL THE TIME.
This handbag, for instance, caught my eye and I fell INSTANTLY in love with it.
The pistachio-caramel tropical scent of Brazilian Bum Bum Cream captured me as well:
But what I’m really hinting at, is this GORGEOUS red dress I found:
I can’t even BEGIN to tell you how much I love it!
It’s striking and I can’t wait to wear it in Florida and see The Swede get all flushed with excitement.
There’s nothing quite like a beautiful woman in a red dress now, is there?
Wearing red dresses is kinda my thing, as evidenced by this old picture of me with my friends going out for a night on the town:
And then there’s my custom-made velvet high school prom dress, inspired by Pretty Woman, which I wore to my college junior ball:
The bottom line is:
I LOVE RED DRESSES!
I can’t wait to steal someone’s breath away. . .
I got invited to a Good ‘n Bad themed burner (as in Burning Man) potluck birthday party.
Naturally, I bought my costume MONTHS ago.
I got myself a naughty nun costume.
PERFECT for me since I sway between abstinence and nymphomania.
Well, the other day I tried to put the costume on.
TRIED, being the operative word here.
The sleeves wouldn’t even fit over my WRISTS!
Now, I’m not sure what size body the costume was DESIGNED for, but I’m pretty sure it’s not an XL like it says on the label.
Not one bit.
Needless to say, I was back at square one.
Time to come up with something different.
So I poked around in my closet and found this lovely red dress I’ve never worn WHICH FITS MY BODY.
And then I scoured etsy (my FAVORITE place to shop for eccentricities) for red devil horns and I found these for a mere $8.
So there you have it, a RED HORNY DEVIL costume for $8.
Am I awesome, or what?