Sexual Dry Spells

We all know what they are. Some of us, ahem, experience them on a regular basis.

If they last long enough you can become revirginized.

I’m deep in the middle of a sexual dry spell.

Oh sure, men have offered to “take care of it” for me, but each and every one of them has a significant other.

  • The Maestro has the Maestra.
  • Mystery Man has a Mystery Woman.
  • And the Swinger has his Swingee.

Is it too much to ask to meet someone who is looking for a primary?

Why do I always catch the overflow but never the landslide?

This is supposed to be my landslide of good karma life, after all.

Karma needs a little help, apparently.

So my New Year’s resolutions are:

  1. Flirt every day, even if it’s with the bagger at the grocery store.
  2. OM 4-6 times a week, more if possible.
  3. Get out and hike, mountain bike, kayak and embrace the outdoors.
  4. Say yes to invitations to do things with friends.
  5. Ask someone out once a month. Try not to be too saucy or too shy about it.
  6. Join at least two new clubs – fishing and beer making sound promising.
  7. Make sure to spend time maintaining the friendships I already have.
  8. Stop monitoring my POF, Match, and OK Cupid profiles. Nothing good is coming of those.
  9. Celebrate myself by doing something nice for myself once a week (at least, lol).
  10. Dance, just for fun and when there’s no music.

I think these New Years resolutions capture my quirky side and will help me to enjoy my life more fully, regardless of my revirgination status, which by the way got totally blown out of the water in between me writing this post and posting it on unblunder.

Yeah, I’m hot stuff!