Burning Man 2017: Burning Man Expectations

It’s IMPOSSIBLE for me to contemplate Burning Man expectations without thinking of the prophetic words of my Fearless Leader Twisty.

He told me it’s best to just let things evolve on the playa and not try to plan too much.

Did I listen to him?

Not the first year, I didn’t.

I had a WHOLE SCHEDULE filled with plans and activities I wanted to participate in.

Very few actually materialized.

I got to go to the temple and write my messages on the walls.

I went to Scotchfest solo.

And I got washed at the Human Carasss Wash.

That’s about it.

Most of the time I was lonely looking for friends to do stuff with.

My second year was better. I was scheduled to bake cookies for playa interactivity.

Everything else was UP IN THE AIR.

And I had a great time although I do feel like I should’ve done more exploring, less staying at home relaxing in the Motorbeast.

This year, I have a few things on my short list of THINGS TO DO:

Go to Transfoamation and dance in the foam.

Attend Scotchfest. With friends.

Watch the Rite of Spring.

Go to the wedding of my Fearless Leaders.

Short list, eh?

Should be something I can accomplish.

Sad news here

Sad news here.

The Swede will NOT be going to Burning Man with me.

Not only does he have to go to Vegas for work (poor boy), he’s got to get back home early for a commitment.

Normally, I’d be crushed.

But since I knew all along that him coming to Burning Man was a LONGSHOT, I didn’t get my hopes up too high.

However, I was fantasizing about taking my own “Burning Man virgin” to Burning Man.

What would that BE like?

We’d have to take a sauna at Saunadome AND see their electric space car.

Lay under The Firmament.

We’d get naked and washed by many people at The Human Carcass Wash.

And of course, we’d have to go by Barbie Death camp for massages.

There’d also be Transfoamation – where we’d get naked (again) and dance in foam with other burners.

Being a beer fan, I’d have to take him to Home Brew Camp for beers.

Then there are trips into the deep playa on an art car which are a must.

And this year, there’s the Symphonic Ballet “Rite of Spring” that I want to see.

Not to mention visiting The Man and The Temple and watching them burn, burn, burn to the ground.

I also imagine ALL THE SEX I’d get and if you ask me, I am most disappointed that I will not be saddle sore by the time Burning Man ends.

Because I find Burning Man very stimulating and it would be SO NICE TO HAVE A LOVER.

Nevertheless, I will have a grand time, I am sure, even without The Swede.

There’s too much to see and to do.

Too many friends to visit and have fun with,

too much booze to drink,

too much music to dance to,

too many lights to enjoy,

too much of everything to feel lonely.