Tantra Puja

Tantra puja is not what you think it is. There’s no nudity. There’s no masturbation. There’s not even any groping.

These were the things I imagined when I pictured my first Puja.

I tried to imagine the worst, most challenging situation I could be faced with and if I could handle it then I’d be okay to go.

So I pictured a sea of naked bodies touching each other and sitting in a circle masterbating.

This was nothing like that.

This was gentle discussion. Dance. Play.

I met some lovely people.

My friend Gary even went with me which made it so much easier for me to attend myself, knowing I’d have someone to lean on if I got uncomfortable or needed to withdraw a little.

We played a few rounds of “I notice that… I imagine you…” [Like “I notice that you’re not wearing a wedding ring, I imagine that you’re not married.”] It’s an exercise that demonstrates how we make up stories based on our observations.

Then I pretended I was a kite and my friend Gary was reeling me in and out while I danced about. That was the most fun for me.

I played one game with a man who had the sexiest voice imaginable. It was so stimulating to sit across from him and listen to his low, baritone voice rumble on. He could’ve been reading the phone book for all I cared.

We concluded with a flocking exercise where we all follow the leader and move in unison with each other. It was quite lovely. I pretended I was a bird and did pirouettes like I haven’t done since grade school.

Overall, I had a good time but I was slightly disappointed that it wasn’t edgier. That I didn’t have to stretch more and put myself out there a little bit more.

Not that I wanted to sit in a circle with other people while we all played with ourselves.

But a cuddle puddle would have been nice.

Or flames.

There’s should’ve been candles.

Candles always add an element of ritualism to a ceremony.

Sex Magic

So there’s a group called Sex Magic and I’m intrigued by them. According to their website they are about meditation, intimacy, self-exploration, sexuality, dating and relationships and ritual. That’s quite a load of topics to keep you busy.

They’ve hosted several meetings so far – including one on dating as a spiritual practice, one on conscious sensuality and a wildly popular one on female ejaculation and prostate massage.

Let me repeat that.

One on female ejaculation and prostate massage.

Now these are not two of my favorite topics, but I’m INSANELY curious about them. So curious, I would have attended the meeting, had I only known about it.

You might think this sounds a little hokey. And you may be right. But these meeting quite frequently have licensed psychotherapists and relationship coaches as part of the presentation and discussion.  The entire group is organized by a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.

Their next meeting is in February.

It’s called “Sex, Magic and Erotic Influence” and I’m going. Quite honestly, they had me at “sex”.

The seminar seeks to answer the questions:

What kind of erotic presence do you hold? 
What is the range and depth of you sexual embodiment? 
What can you call forth from your lover? 
What are your edges and how do they hold you back from expressing and enjoying your full erotic potential? 

Well, the last question is the kicker for me. Because if you were to ask me if I’m enjoying my full erotic potential, the answer would be “NOT AT ALL.”

Despite all the experiments I test out. Despite the OMing. And despite the blogging.

I can’t shake the feeling like there somehow should be more.

Like say a boyfriend?

Yeah, that might do it… getting a boyfriend.

Can Sex Magic help me with that?