Billionaire Bling Skates

I fell in love with some blinged out roller skates but managed to steer clear of buying a pair seeing as how I’d likely break my tailbone (again) if I tried to roller skate.

It’s true.

Anything that decreases the amount of friction I experience with the earth is just an early warning signal that I will be injuring myself.

Skiing?

Never got the hang of it.

Kept crossing my skis and losing my poles.

Ice skating?

Same thing.

My brain says GO but my legs say NO!

And snowboarding?

Well that’s how I broke my tailbone in the first place.

I tangled up with a fellow right off the ski lift and the snow was like cement when I hit it.

You should have seen me driving home after that, balancing on one cheek then the other trying to avoid sitting directly on my bum for the pain it caused.

Did you know that when you sneeze or laugh with a broken tailbone, you feel pain in your butt?

Literally.

I’d beg my kids not to make me laugh and they’d set about trying to make me laugh because they thought it was funny.

And it was.

A little.

Nevertheless, me and the Billionaire Bling Roller skates ($110) will not be making each other’s acquaintance any time soon.

Despite my over-the-moon love for them.