I went for coffee with an old high school friend, Sam.

And we had the BEST conversation.

I talked to him about Burning Man.

He talked about Landmark Forum, EST, etc.

It has been a long time since I had a good conversation like that, IRL.

And it got me thinking about connections.

It’s been REALLY challenging for me to connect with new people lately.

And that is 100% of the reason why I gave up internet dating.

Because I got tired of men telling me “we have no chemistry” when they themselves were spending no effort trying to connect.

How many times have you gone on a date that was word-for-word EXACTLY the same as a previous date:  names, hometown, jobs, kids, hobbies, etc.

If you want to connect with me, don’t tell me your stats.

Tell me a secret.

Nobody wants to connect to other people anymore.

Nobody wants to be vulnerable.

That’s why vulnerability is so disarming.

It’s unexpected.

And rare.

And that’s why I love Burning Man so much.

You may think of burners as a bunch of weirdos and freaks, but I know them to be caring, vulnerable, and extraordinary people.

Friends and lovers are people we’ve chosen to be vulnerable with.

That’s what makes the connection special.

I want to spend more time having real dialogues and waste less time having cookie-cutter conversations.

Sam has helped me to realize that connection is out there, you just need to look for it.

And in case you haven’t noticed, vulnerability is my forte.

Hence, this blog.


I have this friend.

We’ll call him Sam.

Sam was driving in San Francisco when he made, admittedly, a San Francisco merge.

The man driving behind him became so irate that he actually rammed Sam’s car with his own, then proceeded to back up into the car behind him before taking off dragging Sam (who had gotten out of his car) a distance down the road.

Sam managed to free himself when the car slowed down but required an ambulance ride to the hospital as well as medical assistance and rehab.

Sam recounted this story to me yesterday as we sat outside Philz Coffee in Los Gatos.

I was floored.

When we said our goodbyes, I wished him safe travels, images of road rage fresh in my mind.

I walked to my truck.

All of a sudden, from behind me, a car squealed out of a parking spot at a very rapid speed.

There was a man half in the passenger side window, his legs hanging out the window.

The driver suddenly stopped, then just as suddenly took off again, as if he was trying to shake the man from his car.

My adrenaline started pumping.

I pulled out my phone, to make a call to the police but instead I took a picture of the car:

I LITERALLY was shaking as I watched the trapped man extricate himself from the car before the car took off and drove away.

It was as if the words Sam and I spoke conjured up this road rage incident.

I IMMEDIATELY called Sam and told him what happened, my voice, hands, and whole body quaking.

It took me a good 10 minutes to calm down enough to drive.

The man who had been hanging out the car calmly walked to another car, got in, and drove off.

Was it a friendly prank?

A drug deal gone bad?

A failed car jacking?

Who knows?

All I know is that road rage is not worth risking the precious life of another human being.

Stay safe everyone.

Shade, Sam, and Spankings

This weekend I got in the tent trailer…. and I got a little lesson in heat transference.

As in the heat outside in the 70 degree weather transferred to the tent trailer and turned it into a little mini oven.

I wasn’t just hot, I was boiling.

Sweat was pouring off of me.

I tried to picture myself in the tent trailer in 100 degree heat on the playa, and although I couldn’t exactly capture the pure overwhelming heat of it, I certainly got the idea.

It’s gonna be hot, Hot, HOT out there!

So hot it’s actually cooler outside the tent trailer.

I won’t want to get dressed in there.

I won’t want to put on makeup in there.

I’m just going to want to get the hell out of there ASAP.

Fast forward to Monday. I’m meeting my new friend Sam at a restaurant in Los Gatos to discuss – you go it – Burning Man. More specifically, I need to talk to him about shade. Because I need to figure out how to shade my tent trailer and right now I have no idea how to do that.

Aluminet is $0.32 per square foot. That’s makes for an expensive canopy when your tent trailer is 21 feet long, 6 feet wide, and 8 feet tall.

And while I am good at erecting some things, my canopy erecting skills and even my canopy building skills, are sadly lacking.

Plus how the hell am I going to do it on my own on the playa? This may be a time when radical self-reliance goes by the wayside.

So Sam, who is 54 but looks 37 thanks to a young face and a full head of hair, is going to school me on shade structures on the playa. Just so that I can have another project to work on.

And more money to spend, natch.

I also plan to pick Sam’s brain about life on the playa in a camp since he was in a camp last year and got to experience it all. Even the sparkleponies who came to camp naked and rubbed their boobs on everyone.

He also is a good spanker, from what I’ve heard and I can’t wait to interview him about why he spanks, what he loves about it, and what he gains from spanking bare bottoms on his lap.

I’m a curious girl, you know.