Home run

It’s not like me to move slow and take it easy.

Although I am a relatively mellow woman, I find that when it comes to physical relationships I have two speeds:  grass growing and rocket blasting.

Yeah, when I make up my mind that I want some action from someone, it’s hard to stop me.

I do wish there was something besides ludicrous speed, maybe a gentle stroll or a brisk walk, to land me in bed with someone I really like.

To tell the truth, the new guy has slowed me down A LOT.

Everything we’ve done would be appropriate for a PG rated movie.

The few times I’ve tried to broach the topic with him, he changed the subject.

So I’ve been waiting for the perfect time to bring up physical intimacy.

And it presented itself:

So there you have it, I’m not going to jump his bones but I’m not going to inch along, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

I’m going to make my own perfect moment and take the new guy there with me.

As my friend Tom put it, “This is not some fuck boi with a coke can dick.”

Take my time.

Enjoy myself.

Don’t rush.

Be attentive.

And fucking pitch one perfect ball right over the plate so he can knock it right out of the park and have a roaring slide into home base.

That’ll do.

Jealous much?

I am a SCORPIO.

Born smack dab in the middle of Scorpio territory on November 2nd.

As such, I happen to have some of the quintessential Scorpio traits:

Active imagination.

Strong sex drive.

Very loyal.

Wicked sting when wronged.

And, of course, tendencies toward jealousy.

I’m not proud of my jealous nature.

However, I’ve discovered it’s less a measure of how possessive I am than it is a measure of how secure I am.

When I’m comfortable in a relationship there’s very little jealousy.

When I’m off balance in a relationship, there’s a lot of jealousy.

So you can imagine my surprise when I discovered a friend hitting on not one, but two of my former lovers at Burning Man.

What?

After I expressly told her to lay off.

“Are you okay with this?” she mouthed to me while snuggling up to one of my lovers.

“Does it matter?” I asked. “It’s not like you’ll listen.”

And so I got jealous.

Go figure.

But seeing as how I believe in maintaining the “No Drama” rule at Burning Man, I opted to do nothing but sit and wait.

And in the end, it was all for naught.

Nothing came of it.

Jealousy is such a USELESS emotion.

Scorpio on Scorpio

I am a Scorpio.

I was born right smack dab in the middle of Scorpio territory on November 2nd.

I was also born a Zezza woman, which automatically makes me a highly sexual person.

So I got a double whammy when it comes to sex.

I have a lot of experience.

But the one thing I haven’t experienced a lot of is Scorpio men.

Charlie the Aussie was a Scorpio, but on the cusp of Sagittarius.

The Israeli was a Scorpio, but seeing as how he likes to cum in girls’ eyeballs, we’ll write him off.

The Photographer is a Scorpio and he literally ROCKED MY WORLD.

And The Swede is a Scorpio (born on the same day as my brother) and we all know I HEART THE SWEDE.

He literally kept me coming ALL WEEKEND LONG!

All these men prove what I’ve suspected for a long time:

SCORPIOS ARE THE BEST!

So imagine my shock and surprise when The Fireman told me he’s a Scorpio too.

I personally think that:

  1. Scorpios make the BEST kissers.
  2. Scorpios make the BEST lovers.
  3. Scorpios are the BEST at talking dirty.
  4. And, Scorpios have the most AMAZING oral skills.

So what if I’m single and not attached to anyone?

I have a steady diet of Scorpios to keep me satisfied.

In the immortal words of The Photographer, “Being with you is like being with the female version of myself.”

It’s a little freaky to be instantly on the same wavelength as someone else.

But I must say, I’m enjoying myself immensely.

All this flirting with Scorpios is REALLY AGREEING WITH ME!

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The one where she gets excited about a date

Last night I talked to Wine Man for a whopping 3+ hours.  It all began with some serious flirtatious texting on both our parts.

Me:  I want to go home to wine and chocolate but I’m all out of wine 😦

Him:  I have wine.  And I make awesome chocolate covered strawberries.

Me:  Wine and chocolate covered strawberries sound like a seduction scene.  LOL

Him:  Just saying…. Ha ha ha

Me:  You ARE flirty.  Send me a pic of you.

He sends me a picture of him cooking bacon.

photo 1

I send a pic of me in the bathtub.

photo 2

Him:  Whoa!  😉

Me:  It’s instagrammed.  I don’t look that good naked 😉

Him:  Now who’s flirty!  Did I mention I have wine and we can make chocolate covered strawberries?  Oh, and your opinion doesn’t count on nudity.

He sends me pics of strawberries and chocolate to prove his point.

Me:  You’re THE BOMB!  You’re already better than my last three dates and we haven’t even gone out yet 😉

We finally talked on the phone as I was driving home from work…. And we talked for the next 3+ hours.  He is a very interesting and very funny guy.  So here’s the details:

  1. He’s a Scorpio (like me).  Think excess of passion.
  2. He was drafted by the Atlanta Braves for pitching.  He lasted 2 weeks before he blew out his shoulder.
  3. He has a daughter (woo hoo!  Girls!)
  4. He lived in Montreal but can’t speak French.  He loves that I can.
  5. He likes wine and cheese so our first date (tomorrow) is at a wine and cheese bar in San Carlos.
  6. He can play the drums and played for Kenny Chesney.
  7. He reads a lot of business books.
  8. He’s the senior something-or-other for a video game company and is in charge of the entire series of a famous first-person-shooter video game that my boys love.
  9. My oldest son already thinks this guy is awesome.
  10. He’s a whopping 6’5” tall which I find very sexy.

So there you have it.  I have a date tomorrow which I’m actually really excited about!  Can’t wait to blog about that!