Yesterday my privacy was violated.

Someone logged into my Facebook account and looked at pictures that were supposed to be private.

Ones that I had filtered from the public and friends.

Not nude pics, but close to nude pics.

Tasteful I thought.

This person then got upset and offended and proceeded to tell my mother that I needed an intervention. That I was out of control.

Nudity bothers me less than the average American. In that respect, I am less mainstream and more on the fringe.

My mother then proceeded to unload on me all her imagined “sexual trespasses” that I had “committed” in her mind.

According to her, I sleep with every man I go on a date with.

This is ironic. I can point to many men I’ve dated way more than just one time who I have never slept with.

I do the best I can to share intimacies with men who I feel have the possibility of developing into something more.

In some cases, I am right – like with Luke and Jay – and I wind up in 18 month relationships.

In other cases, I am wrong – like with The Israeli – and I wind up ghosted with a face full of cum.

I rarely spend the night and I don’t have sex at my house.

These are the rules I have.

As a 43 year old woman, I don’t think I need to justify my sex life to my parents and it’s a shame that they are all up in my business about it.

It hurts that someone felt the need to spy on me, but what hurts more is knowing that my parents have a flawed and skewed image of me in their heads.

According to my mother, I am a slut.


That woman has never been comfortable with my sexuality.

There is no great insight I have here.

I’m rather confused and hurt about the whole experience.

And it’s ironic that all this is happening at a time in my life when I’m focused less on dating and more on friendships.

Yes, you read that right.

I’m settling down.


Super Charge Your Sex Life

photo 2Since I have no sex life, I sit around and think up ways to improve yours, you lucky SOBs.

I wish I was getting some, but that’s a different post.

Here are my top 10 suggestion for improving your sex life:

  1. Watch any of the movies on my Top 10 Sexy Movies post.  That should put you both in the mood and none of it is porn.
  2. If your SO likes porn, I recommend porn by Candida Royalle or Dane Jones – its a special kind of porn made specifically for women (think kissing, no gyno shots, and lots of focus on the woman’s pleasure).
  3. Wine.  Lots of it.  Nothing says “boink me” quite like a wine buzz.
  4. Take a trip to a local Adult Bookstore and check out the toys.  Buy what appeals to you.  Enjoy them at home later.
  5. Relax.  Find a way to get the chores done early and get the kids to bed early and just enjoy each other’s company.  No talking shop.
  6. Swap massages.  This is good because (A) you have to get naked, and (B) you get to touch and be touched by your SO.  Two birds, one stone.
  7. Have a nice romantic dinner, just the two of you.  Talk about your dreams and passions, instead of business and household topics.
  8. Men, read this post on performing oral sex.  ‘Nuff said.
  9. Ladies, take a class on giving a blow job.  I’m taking one in less than a week. Post pending.
  10. Talk.  Just start talking with each other.  Reconnect.  Rejoin. Physical intimacy follows emotional intimacy.


Can’t be a slut even when I try

First of all, let me say that when I say slut, I mean a sexually-active, sexually-forward woman who embraces her sex life.  I don’t mean it in the negative terms we tend to associate with it.  For slut shaming read this article.

Here are some statistics on my slut status:

In 6 weeks I have tried to have sex with 2 men a total of three times.

I have been successful zero times.  Once because there was no condoms and twice because of equipment failure.

Which just makes me wonder why, as a hot-blooded American female I can’t seem to find men to have sex with.  Or why when I do find a man I like, the equipment doesn’t work.

It’s like a conspiracy against my sex life.