Needing comfort

Today I went grocery shopping at 6 am.

If you know me well, then you know that I typically don’t do anything at 6 am besides sleep.

And I never grocery shop.

I always use Instacart or Safeway delivery.

I was wearing a mask and gloves along with my velour striped elephant pants and pineapple tank top.

Hey, who needs to be fashionable in a pandemic?

I changed out of my shopping clothes to be safe and as I put on a blue maxi dress, I lamented that I don’t have comfy sweats to wear.

I remedied that RIGHT AWAY and bought a few cozy pajama pants and a velour track suit off of Amazon:

Because when working from home, COMFORT IS KEY!

So there you have it – nice, warm pajamas for work (I’ll slip into something more appropriate for virtual meetings, though).

To be honest, I’m kind of proud of myself, not for buying sweat clothes, but for doing grocery shopping for the family – something I HATE to do unless it’s online.

But challenging times call for special measures.

It’s going to get worse before it gets any better.

And here is a video with tips on how to keep the novel corona virus out of your house.

Hoarding

Today I got up at 5:45 in the morning to accompany my mother to the grocery store to stock up on food.

Nevermind that we already have stores of food and beverages.

I had a hard time getting her out of Safeway.

I feel like donning my burner wear when I go out in the world right now for essential trips for food and medication – leather skirt, bondage corset, and black platform boots.

Why?

Because we’re living in dystopia.

And dystopian times call for a dystopian wardrobe, don’t you think?

I long for THE GOOD OLD DAYS before corona virus, don’t you?

I mean, having to wear a mask on my face for safety is NOTHING NEW FOR ME.

I do it every time I go to the Burn.

People are creating chat rooms and virtual parties to stay in touch and stay entertained.

I myself belong to a few chat rooms which have saved my sanity during these challenging times.

Blogging has taken a back seat.

It’s hard to write about building costumes when the very event I build those outfits for is at risk of being cancelled.

Suddenly, outfits seem wildly frivolous, even if the entertainment it provides helps me to cope with this new world order.

For once, I’m thankful that I’ve been hoarding fabric, so I can work on quilts, while I monitor my chat rooms for humor to help relive some of the worry I’m experiencing.

Stay safe at home my friends.

Keep in touch with your family and friends.

Stock the fridge and freezer and Netflix and chill, as best you can.

I think we’re in this for the long run.

 

Just for fun, my friend posted a link to a calculator which will tell you how long your TP supply will last given how often you use the restroom.  Enjoy!

Blow Me Down

I love THIS German Shepherd quilt:

This made me giggle – Rock, paper, scissors. from r/funny

A very unusual buttplug

I want THIS top (and THOSE boobs):

 

This made me laugh my ass off!  What a cutie!

The PERFECT nude lip . . .

 

A brilliant and haunting performance:

 

El Pulpo and Skibidi:

 

God, don’t you love Oreos?

 

“Vanity is only a sin because a woman who believes she deserves good things is harder to commodify.” Glori B.

Taste the rainbow

Valentine’s Day has got me all hot and bothered.

But not for a date.

No.

I’m binging on lingerie AGAIN, because I haven’t bought any in such a long time so in typical fashion I am TOTALLY throwing myself into it.

Today I shopped the rainbow of lingerie:

 

Oh, shopping for lingerie is SO DANGEROUS!

I’m sorely tempted to buy a shit ton of lingerie to wear to Burning Man.

Because my fellow burners really need to see me rocking boyshorts and a matching bralette.

Right?

Which ones should I collect?

Gift ideas: Beverages and more!

A newly curated list of mostly beverage-related items which I think would make cool stocking stuffers or gifts for friends and family:

$150 Seriously blinged out iPhone case

$7 Cute cosmetic bag, many designs but this one has my heart

$24 Silicon wine glasses for the hot tub/bath tub

$23 Folding lap desk so I can stay in bed longer

$25 Boho cotton throw blanket with colors I LOVE

$50  Indoor smores maker for smores, especially when it’s cold out

$13 Wine tumbler with lid, for Burning Man, hot tub fun, etc.

$10 Tweexy for nail polish for a perfect manicure

$19 Stainless steel mugs with lids, perfect for Burning Man

$31 Viking mug because I still think about The Swede

$10 Gardening gloves, or some serious backscratching

$15 Skull ice cube tray because it’s cool

$18 Cutting board, ’tis the season for CHEESE spreads

$46 Bartending kit, because I love a good bartending kit in the wet bar

$15 Tea mug with infuser, which is just TOO CUTE

$200 Oculus VR headset, because everyone needs to experience The Magic (I love it!)

$23 Cocktail kit for airplane rides, just add booze

$64 Cheeseboard, another magnificent cheese board, with knives and pull out trays

 $26 Melamine spreaders so bright and cute

$35 Book-scented candle to pretend like you’re in the library

$10 Multi kitchen tool for perfect meals

$16 Flask because it’s cool

$12 Rainbow party cup for Burner BYOC parties

$8 Narwhal tea infuser because NARWHALS ARE AWESOME AT FIGHTING TERRORISTS

$17 Cocktail garden kit to grow your own herbs for cocktails

$25 Journal for the writer in you 🙂

Shopping for ex boyfriends

It’s the holiday season which means I’m in full present-buying mode.

I’m totally on the prowl for awesome gifts I can give to my family and friends.

I click on every Gift Idea List that I cross paths with – Amazon, Forbes, blog-based lists – you name it, I’ve been there.

The funny thing is that I still shop for my ex-boyfriends.

The other day, I saw a beautiful crab fabric on Spoonflower and instantly thought of my ex who had a thing for crabs.

In my mind, I was sewing crab pajamas for him.

And, of course the minute I see hot sauce I think of The Swede who is happily coupled up with a lovely Swedish lady.

I’ve never known someone to be as into spicy foods as he is.

I’m not sure how he still has a stomach lining.

Must be all that Viking food!

Naturally, even though I get the impulse to gift my exes, I never follow through.

That would just be sheer lunacy!

But the urge is there, every time I spot something PERFECT for someone I used to date I think, “Oh, he’d be so thrilled to get this!”

Even after all these years, habits are still hard to break.

Breathless

I’ve fallen in love.

Yes, I have.

It’s such an easy thing for me to do.

I fall in love ALL THE TIME.

This handbag, for instance, caught my eye and I fell INSTANTLY in love with it.

The pistachio-caramel tropical scent of Brazilian Bum Bum Cream captured me as well:

But what I’m really hinting at, is this GORGEOUS red dress I found:

I can’t even BEGIN to tell you how much I love it!

It’s striking and I can’t wait to wear it in Florida and see The Swede get all flushed with excitement.

There’s nothing quite like a beautiful woman in a red dress now, is there?

Wearing red dresses is kinda my thing, as evidenced by this old picture of me with my friends going out for a night on the town:

And then there’s my custom-made velvet high school prom dress, inspired by Pretty Woman, which I wore to my college junior ball:

The bottom line is:

I LOVE RED DRESSES!

I can’t wait to steal someone’s breath away. . .

Not so fast, etsy

Honestly.

You do ONE SEARCH for a flower crown and suddenly etsy thinks you’re a BRIDE-TO-BE.

Not so, etsy.

Sorry to disappoint but there are no impending nuptials.

Honestly, I’ve always liked the feature in etsy which recommends products for you.

Most of the time, they get it RIGHT.

But occasionally, they get it really, REALLY wrong.

Like the time I bought a spiked leather collar for a dominatrix costume.

Nevermind if dominatrixes don’t wear collars.

This one looked mean and no one could come near me in it for fear of getting spiked!

Well, after I bought that collar, etsy sent me a shit ton of BDSM gear on their site.

Who knew etsy was such a resource for the alternative community?

Then, there was the time I bought statement earrings on etsy.

Big, pendulous and eye-catching, they were exactly what I needed.

Etsy thought I was a black woman and proceeded to advertise tribal prints, statement necklaces, and hair care products to me.

This time around, I searched for a flower crown to wear in Florida.

Sure enough, I found one.

But now etsy thinks I’m getting MARRIED!

If anything, I’m further away from taking vows than I was when I first got divorced.

Not for me, etsy.

Not for me.

Drat!

So my dresses finally arrived in the mail.

The first one was a yellow wrap around midi dress that was so lovely:

I put it on only to discover that it didn’t WRAP AROUND MY BODY.

There was this HUGE GAP where cleavage coverage should be.

I was literally falling out of the dress.

So it’s a no-go for Florida.

Then I tried on the other dress:

Sadly it too did not fit so well across my bust either.

These 38Gs are really causing problems!

So I’m back to square one.

I literally have NO DRESSES to wear to Florida and I’m panicking.

I need to go through my wardrobe and see what works.

Of course, all my summer dresses are buried behind all the winter dresses.

So it’s going to take effort and some maneuvering to check out what’s in my closet.

Tejas suggested that I wear this fishnet dress with my bathing suit:

But somehow, no matter how beach-appropriate it is, I just can’t see myself wearing it anywhere but the playa in Black Rock City.

Since I don’t have time to order online, wait for delivery and hope the dress fits, it looks like I’m going to have to shop the hard way. . .

. . . off the rack in a store.

Sigh.

We know how much I HATE that.

Maybe I can get Barbara to advise me where to go and what to try on.

She’s always fashionable and is good at shopping.

She’s the polar opposite of me.

I don’t want to set foot in a store and she can’t buy anything without touching it first.

Just what I need right now!

Shopping for the Burn

I’ve been on etsy.

Scoping out the site for some awesome new threads to wear at Burning Man.

And etsy never disappoints.

There’s always something there to tantalize me.

I bought a GORGEOUS peacock kimono:

It made me think of a dear friend whose favorite color is peacock blue so I’m going to build a whole outfit around this peacock kimono and wear it in her honor.

Then I bought these cool, cut-out booty shorts.

I got them because they’re versatile, breezy, and I’ve already got the nude thongs to wear with them.

LOL

My final purchase was a pair of stained-glass skull leggings.

Now, I’m not much of a skull person.

I sort of leave that to my sister – she’s got a large sugar skull tattoo on her left arm.

But I simply fell in love with this design.

I imagine I’ll pair it with some sort of crochet black tank top and call it a day.

I’m trying to keep my wardrobe for the burn down to a minimum because I’ve got to be very conscientious of how much I bring when it’s me riding in someone else’s car.

Swimsuits, shorts and tank tops will be my bread and butter when I’m out on the playa.

Oh!

My final purchase off of (can you believe it!) Poshmark (a vintage/used clothing shop which is questionably vintage/used clothes and more like a cheap Chinese clothes market) is a flames backpack.

So PERFECT for the Burn!