Drowning my sorrows

I got out of the house this weekend.

Yes, I did!

I went on a run to BevMo to get more booze for the wet bar.

Turns out, during a pandemic, people are drinking more at home.

Go figure!

I resisted the urge to buy stock in virtually everything they offered.

Instead I bought a handle of vodka, gin and rum.

I also picked up some delicious Fever Tree Ginger Beer so I can make Moscow Mules.

Doesn’t a Moscow Mule sound delicious with all the hot weather we’ve been having?

I’m still trying to get the hang of social distancing.

I find myself getting close to people, too close some might say, by accident.

I just keep forgetting that I’m supposed to stay six feet away from another human being.

It’s because I don’t go out shopping that much.

I do a lot of shopping via DoorDash.

Groceries delivered right to your doorstep?

Perfect!

Why leave the house?

Well, I’m here to tell you that leaving the house improves my mental health.

No doubt about it.

Getting out a little improves my outlook on life and reduces the stress and strain I’ve been feeling about the pandemic.

Yes, life will go on.

And if it doesn’t, if we’re all stuck in this new reality, at least I can drown my sorrows in booze.

Summer in the tropics

It’s been a good day today.

Why?

Because my Sephora order arrived.

A week ago, Sephora emailed me an advertisement for a travel kit from Drunk Elephant – a brand my kid adores.

So I snapped it up for her.

Naturally, I added a few items for myself.

Because you know. . . I’m a sucker for cosmetics and skin care.

I bought two eyeshadow palettes.

Nevermind that I already have about fifty of them.

Those little pots of pressed color that shimmer and glisten really lure me in.

So I got some.

I must be in a violet mood, because I bought Violet Voss’ fun-sized palette in Sweet Violet and Urban Decay’s Naked Palette in Ultraviolet.

My order came with two samples – one for a face cream and other for a perfume by Sol de Janeiro.

Sol de Janeiro has turned their famous fragrance from their Brazilian Bum Bum Cream into a perfume and IT SMELLS LIKE THE PEAK OF SUMMER IN THE TROPICS.

Vanilla, caramel, pistachio and a hint of jasmine.

It’s just like those sneaky people at Sephora to drop a luscious sample into my order so that I’m forced into trying it and falling in love with it.

I am helpless to resist it.

Mind you, I haven’t bought it yet but I certainly went online and stuck it in my basket to buy at a later date.

It may seem insane in the middle of a pandemic to be shopping online for cosmetics, but hey. . . I’m not feeling my best, I’m a little depressed, and I have a lot of anxiety so I’ll take relief from the daily grind any way I can.

Even if it’s a virtual beach in Brazil that is calling my name.

Needing comfort

Today I went grocery shopping at 6 am.

If you know me well, then you know that I typically don’t do anything at 6 am besides sleep.

And I never grocery shop.

I always use Instacart or Safeway delivery.

I was wearing a mask and gloves along with my velour striped elephant pants and pineapple tank top.

Hey, who needs to be fashionable in a pandemic?

I changed out of my shopping clothes to be safe and as I put on a blue maxi dress, I lamented that I don’t have comfy sweats to wear.

I remedied that RIGHT AWAY and bought a few cozy pajama pants and a velour track suit off of Amazon:

Because when working from home, COMFORT IS KEY!

So there you have it – nice, warm pajamas for work (I’ll slip into something more appropriate for virtual meetings, though).

To be honest, I’m kind of proud of myself, not for buying sweat clothes, but for doing grocery shopping for the family – something I HATE to do unless it’s online.

But challenging times call for special measures.

It’s going to get worse before it gets any better.

And here is a video with tips on how to keep the novel corona virus out of your house.

Hoarding

Today I got up at 5:45 in the morning to accompany my mother to the grocery store to stock up on food.

Nevermind that we already have stores of food and beverages.

I had a hard time getting her out of Safeway.

I feel like donning my burner wear when I go out in the world right now for essential trips for food and medication – leather skirt, bondage corset, and black platform boots.

Why?

Because we’re living in dystopia.

And dystopian times call for a dystopian wardrobe, don’t you think?

I long for THE GOOD OLD DAYS before corona virus, don’t you?

I mean, having to wear a mask on my face for safety is NOTHING NEW FOR ME.

I do it every time I go to the Burn.

People are creating chat rooms and virtual parties to stay in touch and stay entertained.

I myself belong to a few chat rooms which have saved my sanity during these challenging times.

Blogging has taken a back seat.

It’s hard to write about building costumes when the very event I build those outfits for is at risk of being cancelled.

Suddenly, outfits seem wildly frivolous, even if the entertainment it provides helps me to cope with this new world order.

For once, I’m thankful that I’ve been hoarding fabric, so I can work on quilts, while I monitor my chat rooms for humor to help relive some of the worry I’m experiencing.

Stay safe at home my friends.

Keep in touch with your family and friends.

Stock the fridge and freezer and Netflix and chill, as best you can.

I think we’re in this for the long run.

 

Just for fun, my friend posted a link to a calculator which will tell you how long your TP supply will last given how often you use the restroom.  Enjoy!

Blow Me Down

I love THIS German Shepherd quilt:

This made me giggle – Rock, paper, scissors. from r/funny

A very unusual buttplug

I want THIS top (and THOSE boobs):

 

This made me laugh my ass off!  What a cutie!

The PERFECT nude lip . . .

 

A brilliant and haunting performance:

 

El Pulpo and Skibidi:

 

God, don’t you love Oreos?

 

“Vanity is only a sin because a woman who believes she deserves good things is harder to commodify.” Glori B.

Taste the rainbow

Valentine’s Day has got me all hot and bothered.

But not for a date.

No.

I’m binging on lingerie AGAIN, because I haven’t bought any in such a long time so in typical fashion I am TOTALLY throwing myself into it.

Today I shopped the rainbow of lingerie:

 

Oh, shopping for lingerie is SO DANGEROUS!

I’m sorely tempted to buy a shit ton of lingerie to wear to Burning Man.

Because my fellow burners really need to see me rocking boyshorts and a matching bralette.

Right?

Which ones should I collect?

Gift ideas: Beverages and more!

A newly curated list of mostly beverage-related items which I think would make cool stocking stuffers or gifts for friends and family:

$150 Seriously blinged out iPhone case

$7 Cute cosmetic bag, many designs but this one has my heart

$24 Silicon wine glasses for the hot tub/bath tub

$23 Folding lap desk so I can stay in bed longer

$25 Boho cotton throw blanket with colors I LOVE

$50  Indoor smores maker for smores, especially when it’s cold out

$13 Wine tumbler with lid, for Burning Man, hot tub fun, etc.

$10 Tweexy for nail polish for a perfect manicure

$19 Stainless steel mugs with lids, perfect for Burning Man

$31 Viking mug because I still think about The Swede

$10 Gardening gloves, or some serious backscratching

$15 Skull ice cube tray because it’s cool

$18 Cutting board, ’tis the season for CHEESE spreads

$46 Bartending kit, because I love a good bartending kit in the wet bar

$15 Tea mug with infuser, which is just TOO CUTE

$200 Oculus VR headset, because everyone needs to experience The Magic (I love it!)

$23 Cocktail kit for airplane rides, just add booze

$64 Cheeseboard, another magnificent cheese board, with knives and pull out trays

 $26 Melamine spreaders so bright and cute

$35 Book-scented candle to pretend like you’re in the library

$10 Multi kitchen tool for perfect meals

$16 Flask because it’s cool

$12 Rainbow party cup for Burner BYOC parties

$8 Narwhal tea infuser because NARWHALS ARE AWESOME AT FIGHTING TERRORISTS

$17 Cocktail garden kit to grow your own herbs for cocktails

$25 Journal for the writer in you 🙂

Shopping for ex boyfriends

It’s the holiday season which means I’m in full present-buying mode.

I’m totally on the prowl for awesome gifts I can give to my family and friends.

I click on every Gift Idea List that I cross paths with – Amazon, Forbes, blog-based lists – you name it, I’ve been there.

The funny thing is that I still shop for my ex-boyfriends.

The other day, I saw a beautiful crab fabric on Spoonflower and instantly thought of my ex who had a thing for crabs.

In my mind, I was sewing crab pajamas for him.

And, of course the minute I see hot sauce I think of The Swede who is happily coupled up with a lovely Swedish lady.

I’ve never known someone to be as into spicy foods as he is.

I’m not sure how he still has a stomach lining.

Must be all that Viking food!

Naturally, even though I get the impulse to gift my exes, I never follow through.

That would just be sheer lunacy!

But the urge is there, every time I spot something PERFECT for someone I used to date I think, “Oh, he’d be so thrilled to get this!”

Even after all these years, habits are still hard to break.

Breathless

I’ve fallen in love.

Yes, I have.

It’s such an easy thing for me to do.

I fall in love ALL THE TIME.

This handbag, for instance, caught my eye and I fell INSTANTLY in love with it.

The pistachio-caramel tropical scent of Brazilian Bum Bum Cream captured me as well:

But what I’m really hinting at, is this GORGEOUS red dress I found:

I can’t even BEGIN to tell you how much I love it!

It’s striking and I can’t wait to wear it in Florida and see The Swede get all flushed with excitement.

There’s nothing quite like a beautiful woman in a red dress now, is there?

Wearing red dresses is kinda my thing, as evidenced by this old picture of me with my friends going out for a night on the town:

And then there’s my custom-made velvet high school prom dress, inspired by Pretty Woman, which I wore to my college junior ball:

The bottom line is:

I LOVE RED DRESSES!

I can’t wait to steal someone’s breath away. . .

Not so fast, etsy

Honestly.

You do ONE SEARCH for a flower crown and suddenly etsy thinks you’re a BRIDE-TO-BE.

Not so, etsy.

Sorry to disappoint but there are no impending nuptials.

Honestly, I’ve always liked the feature in etsy which recommends products for you.

Most of the time, they get it RIGHT.

But occasionally, they get it really, REALLY wrong.

Like the time I bought a spiked leather collar for a dominatrix costume.

Nevermind if dominatrixes don’t wear collars.

This one looked mean and no one could come near me in it for fear of getting spiked!

Well, after I bought that collar, etsy sent me a shit ton of BDSM gear on their site.

Who knew etsy was such a resource for the alternative community?

Then, there was the time I bought statement earrings on etsy.

Big, pendulous and eye-catching, they were exactly what I needed.

Etsy thought I was a black woman and proceeded to advertise tribal prints, statement necklaces, and hair care products to me.

This time around, I searched for a flower crown to wear in Florida.

Sure enough, I found one.

But now etsy thinks I’m getting MARRIED!

If anything, I’m further away from taking vows than I was when I first got divorced.

Not for me, etsy.

Not for me.