Ms. Jones

It is rather ironic. I should identify with some wonderfully successful, bright, clever young woman like Amal Clooney, but instead I identify with the character Bridget Jones – the ever-so-slightly-plus-size, funny, awkward heroine in Helen Fielding’s novels.

Why?

 

I’ve given this quite some thought and I’ve begun to realize that Bridget Jones and I have many similarities:

  1. She likes to go around naked in her paddling pool. I like to go around naked in my pool.
  2. We both are enamored of Mr. Darcy. Granted, her Mark Darcy was a human rights barrister, and my Mark Darcy is a character in a Jane Austen novel, but you get the picture.
  3. We are both, ahem, plus-sized. Although unlike Bridget Jones, I embrace my curves.
  4. We both have intimate relationships with bottles of wine.
  5. We both are attracted to really shabby guys.
  6. I too hate going to parties where I’m the only single.
  7. Like Bridget, I begin each year with boundless optimism but trouble always seems to find me.
  8. I am always on a journey of self-improvement.
  9. She writes a diary. I write a blog. ‘Nuff said.
  10. My professional life is one long fumble-save, just like hers.
  11. I flirt all day. With people who read this blog. You know who you are.
  12. I never feel like I’m the intellectual equal of everyone in the room.
  13. We both need a career change.
  14. My big plans never quite make it to fruition.
  15. I too use 4-letter words liberally.
  16. I’m also waiting for someone who likes me, just the way I am.

So there you have it, the reasons why I am like Bridget Jones. Because   no matter how hard I try, I always seem to not quite achieve what I set out to achieve. And it takes a pretty evolved sense of humor to find the beauty (and the humor) in that.

Hence…. unblunder.

 

Getting to know you

michelleTo begin with, The Israeli is from Israel so he’s a foreign import with a lovely accent.

He says funny things – like mixing up the words “fluid” and “liquid” – and doesn’t understand some of the colloquialisms that I use – like “you don’t have to tell me that twice.”

I get a kick out of listening to him tell me all his stories.

  • Skiing in the Alps.
  • Diving with sharks in the Red Sea.
  • Camping while in the Israeli Army.

Funny enough, he gets a kick out of all the things I do.

  • Running with the bulls.
  • Learning to make beer.
  • Racing stock cars.

On the surface, we don’t have a lot in common except for our mutual love of rock music.

He would never skydive. I’ve already done it.

He dislikes camping. I adore camping.

He doesn’t go on roller coaster rides. I can’t get through the lines fast enough.

No one ever said you have to date a carbon copy of yourself to find your soulmate.

There are enough qualities to him that fit my criteria to make him an ideal suitor.

Including… ahem… desire #22.

And #1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10, 11, 12, 13, 15, 17, 18, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 30, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, and 41.

And, of course, he meets the basic criteria – available (divorced), faithful (monogamous), and educated (hello DDS and PhD) which will please my life coach.

Progress, folks.

This is what it’s all about.