Bleed

I’ve been avoiding writing out of fear of what I might write.

Stargazer is GONE.

What happened, you ask?

I DON’T KNOW.

One minute we were bowling, and the next minute he’s cancelling dates and GHOSTING me.

I sent a text message to see if we could talk.

It was read but I got no response.

What’s a girl to do except pick herself up, dust herself off, and try again?

In the last six months I have dated two men who ghosted me.

Both of them I CONSIDERED to be gentlemen and genuinely nice guys and I never expected them to ghost me.

I’m starting to wonder if I am a good judge of character, given the surprising turn of events.

I’m not gonna lie.

This one HURTS.

Despite my resolution to get back up and continue on the path I’ve chosen for myself, I find myself lingering in this sad place, mourning the possibility of affection that seemed so near a few weeks ago but now has turned to indifference.

To make matters worse, everyone keeps asking about Stargazer, wanting to know how things are going so I get to repeat myself over and over again telling people he ghosted me.

Hopefully this post will put all those inquiries to rest.

I’ve been GHOSTED.

Again.

Plan B

I was SUPPOSED to go on a cheese tasting road trip with Stargazer this weekend.

But about four hours before our date, I got a cancellation text from him.

He had a family commitment and then went out for drinks with a friend.

I’m not gonna lie.

I was deeply disappointed.

I’d showered, shaved (pits and pubes, you know the routine), done my hair, packed a sexy nightie, drove for over an hour, and done special makeup for our date so when I got his message, I was sitting outside Nadine’s house waiting for her to arrive, I was fighting tears.

But this is not a post about disappointment.

No.

It’s a post about LOVE.

Because Nadine scooped me up, took me to Korean BBQ and cheered me up.

Even though I wasn’t the most pleasant company.

She said, “We’ll do what we do at Burning Man when Plan A falls apart. . . we’ll do PLAN B.”

And that’s EXACTLY what we did.

We went back to Nadine’s place, drank 2 bottles of champagne (actually prosecco, but who cares), ate sushi and played Cards Against Humanity.

Neither one of us wanted to win after I declared, “You’re a shit person if you win at Cards Against Humanity.”

We drank and ate and laughed and had the most wonderful time.

Nadine promised in the morning that we’d go wine tasting in Livermore together.

And that’s just what we did, right after she picked up cheese and crackers for us to enjoy.

How sweet is she?

We hit Concannon Winery, Ruby Hill Winery, and had a delightful lunch at Garré Winery.

This post is all about love, maybe not the romantic kind of love that poets write sonnets about.

Maybe it’s only the kind of love that people write blog posts about, but this weekend the love of a friend made the a whole world of difference in my life and instead of sitting around feeling sad and rejected, I had a great time with Nadine exploring the East Bay.

And even though I lack the words to fully express my gratitude to her, I hope Nadine knows that I am indebted to her for her kindness.

I think I can say with all honesty Plan B was not too shabby.