Spanx you very much

With all the planning and purchasing and designing that went in to my Strawberry Dress would you be surprised to learn that I have every last detail of the outfit ironed out EXCEPT the dress?!

That’s right!

I have a strawberry hat, a strawberry necklace, strawberry earrings, strawberry shoes, strawberry purse, strawberry wallet, strawberry bag charm, and strawberry nails BUT I HAVE NO DRESS!

It’s not for lack of trying.

I’ve bought three strawberry dresses.

The first two were just a bit too tight.

So I finally found a source with larger sizes.

But it has yet to arrive.

In the meantime, I received a strawberry bikini in the mail.

Size 2XL.

But I’m afraid that size 2XL in this bikini is a size 8 in the USA and I am more voluptuous than that.

So I have two strawberry dresses and one strawberry bikini that need to be returned.

I’ve decided that the strawberry bikini is completely unnecessary and I wonder what prompted me to buy it in the first place.

Mama don’t need no size 8 bikini for under her strawberry dress, no!

Mama needs SPANX!

Strawberry Fever

In case you’re wondering the depths to which I travel when I’m working on a new outfit for Burning Man, here is a visual:

Dress (Amazon – $23.99)

Wedge heels (Amazon – $54.99)

Beret (Amazon – $21.99)

Strawberry appliqués (Etsy – $1.35/5)

Strawberry pendant (Etsy – $22.90)

Gold necklace (Etsy – $20.00)

Earrings (ebay – $40.00)

Bag (Amazon – $20.99)

Wallet (Amazon – $25.99)

Charm (Amazon – $7.99)

Strawberry nails (Etsy – $25.00)

Pink heart sunglasses (Birdy Grey – $6.00)

Strawberry enamel bracelet (Ali Express – $14.14)

Apparently this dress has its own following on TikTok, all you need to do is search for “Strawberry Dress” and it pops up all over.

I’m not much of a pink person but since this dress sang to me (and many many others) I decided to buy it and accessorize it.

But now you don’t have to choose between your inner pink princess and your dark goth tendencies because they make the dress in BLACK now:

Isn’t it beautiful in black too?

Strawberry Beret

I found the PERFECT hat to go with my STRAWBERRY DRESS:

Sadly, it’s all sold out so I will have to make my own STRAWBERRY HAT if I want to have one.

I started with a pale peachy pink beret with rhinestones:

And I’ll add several cute kawaii strawberries:

And voila!

A perfect STRAWBERRY beret to go with my outfit.

Mind you, I still have NOWHERE to wear this outfit, but when has that ever stopped me from working on a project?

Oh covid, how I HATE thee!

The Strawberry Dress

I’m not sure I can write a word right now unless it has something to do with The Strawberry Dress.

That’s right, I have a CRAZY strawberry dress.

It’s pink tulle with red strawberries and it’s SO DREADFUL that it’s perfect.

I’m not sure I can wear it anywhere else besides a burner event, but for better or worse, I’m now the proud owner of a really FRILLY, totally WACKO, and completely UNUSUAL strawberry dress.

And you know what you need to go with a strawberry dress, do you not?

Oh, how I wish the answer to that was a $2,000+ strawberry Gucci bag. . .

But instead I got these:

Nowadays you need to match your outfit to a suitable mask, you know.

I’m scoping out strawberry handbags, necklaces and earrings but when I started checking out strawberry hats, I had to slow my roll. . .

. . . and get these strawberry nails from Shein instead:

But then I saw these:

And I was a goner.

Send help.