Off to the strip club

On Saturday night Steve, my hot ex boyfriend, (the one with the 56” chest) took me to first a Bikini Bar called The Gold Club in downtown San Jose then to Cheetah’s in Sunnyvale.

But first, a little on seeing my ex again after 10 years.

He pulled up to my house in a HUGE truck and we kissed hello like we’d never kissed goodbye. His lips were exactly as I remembered them – soft and amazing.

He looked the same, except for his hair, which he keeps military grade short.

It was good to see him.

We left for the Bikini Bar not quite sure what to expect inside. And lo and behold I discovered it was on the same block as my law school. All those years I walked past the bar never realizing what was going on inside.

And what was going on inside?

Not much.

A bunch of bored women in bikinis with pasties underneath dancing on a stage with people around drinking overpriced drinks and generally acting bored with the entire scene.

Steve and I both agreed we needed to move on to the next place which was…

Cheetahs in Sunnyvale.

Outside Cheetahs was a gathering of men with their motorcycles. I found myself momentarily intimidated until I remember who I was with – a bad ass, muscular attorney with a knack for making friends. We’d be okay.

It took time to find parking – the parking lot was full – SURPRISED? Not.

Steve paid our cover and we went inside to see a woman totally naked on her knees shaking her tits in front of a seated man.

Was I shocked? Not at all.

I’ve been to a swinger party and NOTHING is as wild and sexual as a swinger party. This was just commercialized nudity.

I was surprised at how eager the men were to see the dancers’ pussies. Indeed, the customers who tipped the most were the one who were greeted with full frontal pussy inches away from their faces.

The dancers were beautiful, with absolutely amazing bodies. In a room full of strippers, I suddenly dropped to a 3 on a 1 to 10 scale of hotness. I was dismayed.

I couldn’t take my eyes off the girls. They were so beautiful and at least half of them had real breasts. Nice touch! I was expecting a field of silicone.

We were approached by a stripper who asked if we wanted a lap dance. She was beautiful, exotic. But still had that bored look in her eyes. That jaded expression.

No thank you. If it’s not for pleasure, if it’s for industry then I’m not into it.

Steve felt the same.

What did I learn from my experience at a strip club?

  • There is an energy to the room and it can be good or bad. Look for a club with good energy.
  • Give the naked girls a wide berth to walk around. Getting too close can get you thrown out.
  • If you’re going to sit in a chair around the “dance” floor, you need to tip regularly.
  • Girls will approach you and try to separate you from your money faster than you can blink.
  • You know how they say only 5% of women have bodies like supermodels, well those girls are at strip clubs.
  • Be prepared to watch the dancers walk around the room in little more than dental floss and thimbles.
  • There are not very many women patrons in a strip club. I was the only woman there for the first hour.
  • It takes a lot of confidence to sit next to your ex watching naked dancing girls and not be jealous (I wasn’t).
  • The girls don’t really dance. They get on the floor and crawl around showing off their tits and pussies.
  • The girls also don’t look very excited to be doing what they’re doing. Hopefully the money is really good.
  • The girls walk around in real ankle breaker heels – like 5″ tall platforms!

Overall, I enjoyed my experience at the clubs. I suspect a lot of that had to do with the guy I was with. Nothing sexier than a smart man with brilliant wit and a bod for sin. Truth be told, I’d have like to see him strip.

The post where I arrange to go to a strip club

I am going to a strip club.

Woo hoo. I’ve never been.

And I’m kinda excited to go and see what all the hoopla is about and why men seem to gravitate towards these clubs.

A long time ago, my friend Albert admitted that he took business contacts to strip clubs and had all sorts of fun there.

And me and my sister-in-law Robin were grossly disappointed in him at the time.

The idea of sex as industry, not sex as in intimacy sort of struck me as wrong at the time.

I’m not sure what’s changed at this point in my life but I’m not troubled by this anymore.

I suppose I could go and absolutely hate it. But I think it’s more likely that I’ll go and enjoy myself.

The other fun part of this venture is that I am going to the strip club with my ex Steve (the Highland athlete with the 56” chest and the genius IQ).

Surely you don’t think I’m foolish enough to go to a strip club by myself.

I haven’t seen Steve in nearly a decade so I’m excited to see him again. And I’m happy that we’ve opted to do something a little naughty for our first activity of the night.

[Because let’s face it, there could be MORE naughty activities later.]

Strip clubs aren’t completely new to me. I did go to a Male Review about 10 years ago when I was working at a spa and the girls wanted to go see some skin.

It was incredible. One guy got totally naked but for a teeny tiny towel over his business. He then proceeded to split a watermelon in half and he pretend fucked one end while he ate out the other end. All I remember is him picking up his head and seeing the glorious juices of the watermelon dripping down his face.

OH MY!!!

What am I curious about?

  • Are the girls really hot or just butter faces?
  • Is all-nude a little off putting or is it kinda cool?
  • Will there be other women in the audience?
  • Are the boobs mostly silicone?
  • Do women like stripping for other women?
  • What “extra services” are offered?
  • Are the strippers going to pole dance? I love pole dancing ever since I took a class.
  • What’s the atmosphere like in a strip club?
  • Will Steve kiss me? God, he was such a good kisser! The best lips!

 

What’s on tap…

I’ve been thinking about my next set of activities to take on.

Besides needing to scour Groupon for specials, I’ve come up with the following list:

  • Eat at Manresa
  • See Niagara Falls and get wet
  • See Bruce Springsteen
  • Go to a U2 concert
  • Take a tour of Alcatraz
  • Take a tour of the Winchester Mystery House (I’ve never been)
  • Fly a single engine Cessna again
  • Go to the Korean Spa, again
  • Great White Shark dive
  • Eat at a Burmese restaurant
  • Go to Supper Club in SF
  • See a transvestite show
  • Go to  strip club
  • Drive down Highway 1
  • Drive up Highway 1
  • Go to a book reading
  • Go to an art museum
  • Learn to surf
  • Fly in an acrobatic plane doing stunts
  • Camp in Yosemite
  • Go wine tasting in Napa/Paso Robles
  • Go to the Mystery Spot in Santa Cruz
  • Enjoy an Irish Coffee at the Buena Vista
  • Take sailing lessons
  • Learn to brew beer at Workshop SF
  • Get a new tattoo

And that’s a pretty good start for me.  I think I’ll start with driving up and down Highway 1.  I love to stop along the way at any place that suits my fancy – like the Olema Farm House in Olema or the Hog Island Oyster Company in Marshall, or Nepenthe in Big Sur.  So much to see and experience.  Time to get cracking!