You never know

Once again, I fell in love with a dress and had to buy it.

Sadly, they didn’t have it in my size so I opted to sign up for notifications should it be restocked.

Lo and behold, I got a message yesterday letting me know the dress was back in stock.

So I moseyed on over to the website and snapped up one:

I’m not sure what I want it for.

I just love the colors and the chevron striping.

And I’m big on maxi dresses for fall.

It looks fairly sheer so I may need to add a slip to the dress, but overall I’m quite pleased with my selection.

One of the things I love about this fashion site is that they show their clothing on standard size models AND plus size models.

Side by side, it’s very compelling to show how clothing looks on different body types.

I applaud their creativity.

So there you have it.

A new dress for me.

Perhaps I’ll wear it around the house and enjoy sheltering in place in style.

Maybe I’ll go out on a date.

You never know.

Curves on the playa

I MAYBE went on a little spending spree to get some outfits put together for Burning Man.

One thing I’ve noticed. . . my outfits are getting MUCH smaller.

Where I used to put together layers of clothing, I’ve now adopted a simpler methodology.

Short shorts and crop tops.

LOL

Seriously!

Bathing suits and micro skirts.

I have ONE long faux fur jacket I wear for warmth.

But otherwise, on the playa, I’ve got to stay cool and the best way to do that is to go naked. . .

Which I’m not going to do.

The second best way to accomplish that is to actually wear as little clothing as possible.

That I can handle.

Everyone will get to see my thick thighs and my bodacious boobs in these outfits.

Oh well.

It can trigger weird reactions in people.

Not everyone likes curvy women.

But some people do.

And I swear, if one person walks up to me to tell me how “BRAVE” I am to wear tiny outfits, I’m going to make them chew tinfoil while shaving their head with a cheese grater.

You see, it’s like this:

I see curvy women wearing minimal clothing ALL THE TIME and they look great, even with all those curves.

So I figure, the only thing stopping me from also looking great in tiny clothes is me.

I love my body.

It’s given birth three times.

I’ve nursed two babies and yet I still have great tits.

It’s survived 45 years of wear and tear.

It’s got plenty more mileage left to go.

So, without further adieu, here are the outfits for Burning Man 2019:  Metamorphoses:

Giving in

Life is too short to wear comfortable shoes, I’ve always said.

Thus, my closet is packed with about 100 pairs of heels, sky high boots, and glittery sandals.

It’s hard to find a pair of sneakers.

I do have a pair of Chuck Taylors.

And two pairs of running shoes.

Which is why it pains me to admit that I broke down and bought comfortable FLATS for my closet.

I just couldn’t take it anymore – walking in to work, balancing on delicate heels, trying not to break an ankle and turn into a yard sale.

My friend Barbara should be THRILLED.

She wears nothing but Tiek flats and she LOVES them.

You better love them if you’re spending over $300 a pair, is what I say!

I did not buy Tieks.

No, instead I bought a few pairs which I think will fit my unnaturally wide feet.

We’re not talking Hobbit-wide feet, just slightly wider than average.

Thus, these new pairs will be joining my closet in a week and will become staples for my wardrobe accessories.

I just can’t wear heels ALL DAY LONG anymore.

It hurts.

I give up!

Full disclosure: This MAY have something to do with me tripping TWICE in my black heels after a long day at work and literally almost RIPPING MY LITTLE TOE OFF MY RIGHT FOOT in the process.

Flats? Click. Buy.

Playa Boots: An Evolution

I have a THING for black shit kicker boots.

I’ll admit, it’s totally because of Burning Man.

I love the look of a pair of black platform boots coated in playa dust.

They’re impractical.

They keep you out of the dust, sure but they’re definitely not comfortable.

I have a collection of black shit kicker boots.

I loved my first pair of flatform boots but alas, I turned my ankles in them when I’ve been drinking so I had to find something more stable.

Yes, I once took a header at unSCruz, admid a cluster of people wearing these shoes. It was not a pretty sight.

Fortunately, I didn’t break an ankle.

My second pair of shoes was a pair of totally cool looking platform boots that tickled my fancy.

Unfortunately, they did not allow my curvy calves to fit in them and since I didn’t want to go around looking like a fool with half laced up boots, I retired them.

My third pair of shoes were really awesome, totally frivolous shoes which turned out to be way to painful to wear on a regular basis at Burning Man.

Oh, how my feet ached.

I finally had to switch to flip flops to soothe my aching feet.

I did ATTEMPT to buy something sensible, however I realized when they arrived in the mail that they were JUST TOO SENSIBLE FOR ME.

No oomph. No spark.

So I scrapped those shoes.

I have finally settled on what I think will be the perfect pair of shoes for the burn:

They’re platform boots, but the platform isn’t that high.

Yes, I won’t be 6’2” but that’s a compromise I can live with if I’m able to walk around the playa in comfort.

Once upon a time, I would never have even DREAMED of looking for sensible shoes to wear.

Sadly, as I get older, I appreciate comfort over style.

Or maybe I should say I appreciate mobility on the playa over style.

Either way, three years into going to Burning Man and I’m finally getting the hang of it.

At least the shoe part of it.

FYI, you wanna see my dream boots for Burning Man?

These are them:

Because nothing says frivolous and carefree as succinctly as a pair of rainbow colored stacked heel platform boots.

I heart!

You’re not alone, sister!

Almost 2 years ago I participated in Burning Man for the first time.

As is my usual habit, I spent A LOT of time planning and prepping.

I carefully reviewed every Burning Man Essentials list and incorporated all the items I was missing into my growing inventory.

In the end, I had 16 bins full of gear.

I may have gone overboard, but let me tell you, I was PREPARED.

Sunblock for my hair?

Check.

Essentials oils for my face mask?

Check.

Ridiculous now to think about them, but at the time I thought they were ESSENTIAL.

Needless to say, I spent a lot of time looking online for fashion guidance.

Self expression is BIG at Burning Man.

I was totally disappointed to find that 99.9% of the representations of women at Burning Man include slim women only.

Where are my thick girls? My curvy ladies?

I could find no representation of women on the playa for women OVER A SIZE 12.

What up?!

I began to wonder if I’d be the only thick girl on the playa.

Of course, that turned out to not be the case, but it still bothers me to this day that the diversity that exists on the playa is not captured by playa photographers.

And, of course, I had to remedy the situation not just by posting my playa photos on the internet, but also by creating a Pinterest board with fashion inspiration for the curvy lady planning to go to the playa.

You’re not alone, sister!

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In praise of HANDSY men

I’m just going to come out and say it:

I like a man with grabby hands.

You know EXACTLY what I’m talking about if you have the same affinity for it as I do.

A handsy man is one who is constantly touching you.

Grabbing for you.

Getting up in your space and making you feel his presence.

I love this.

Charlie The Aussie was a handsy man.

So is The Swede.

As far as lovers go, a handsy man makes an OUTSTANDING partner.

You’re right in the middle of doing one thing when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, you discover he’s also doing something else.

Like with the Swede, one hand would be up in my hair, messing it up, and pulling on it and I’d discover the other one was stroking my, ahem, chest.

It’s quite a thrill, if you catch my drift.

My friend Yvonne said that she felt starved for touch after her husband passed away.

I think he was a handsy man.

She said he was always touching her.

It occurs to me that out of the Five Love Languages, TOUCH is one of them.

Maybe this is how Yvonne’s late husband, Charlie The Aussie, and The Swede show affection.

Then again, maybe they’re just REALLY EXCELLENT LOVERS.

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