Bad at Flirting

There are lots of things I’m no good at.

Burpees, for one.

Twerking, for another.

Also I can’t dance worth a damn (but I still try).

And my Swedish is atrocious.

Nevertheless, when I need to call on those skills, I do my best to do my best.

What saves me is my great sense of humor and the ability to laugh at myself.

This last burn, I was told by some wise guy that I am “BAD AT FLIRTING.”

Like one of the worst he’d ever seen.

I was a bit surprised but quickly replied that my intention was to seduce him with my AWKWARDNESS.

He remained unimpressed.

It is a little known fact that I am a relatively shy person who PRETENDS to be vivacious and outgoing.

I am not though.

And it shows through whenever I have a crush.

The bigger the crush, the more mute I become.

It’s as if the more invested I am in the outcome, the more subtle I am.


I seldom come across men I am strongly attracted to so when it happens, I’m a little bit off-balance.

But, I’ve always enjoyed that feeling.

And crushing on the wise guy was no exception.

In the end, I got my man.

But I have to admit, my ego took a little bruising in the process.

I am lovely exactly as I am, awkward flirting skills and all.

It just takes a real wise man to see that.

Bad at Flirting

I don’t intentionally set out to be BAD AT FLIRTING.

It just turns out that way.

I’m actually quite shy when it comes to being around people I have an attraction for.

I play it cool.

No sense letting on that I’d like them to stuff me like a Christmas stocking.

Usually someone else has to make the first move.

And then I unleash myself.

Beware of the beast!

I have been known to:

  1. Shove my naked crotch in a man’s face.
  2. Tell a guy that having sex with him is on my bucket list.
  3. Years ago I told a guy I was going to go home and masturbate while thinking of him.
  4. I showed up on a doorstep in nothing but a long jacket, garter belt and stockings.
  5. I once told a guy I was going to hit on him and then proceeded to hit on him.
  6. Don’t get me started on all the XXX rated pictures I’ve sent through text. . .

Subtle, I am not.

I don’t know how a shy person evolved such an outrageous way to flirt, but it’s the honest truth.

I’m either totally shy or I’m bombing you with my lust.

There’s a reason my playa name is Bombshell.

Why I like Austin

It’s easy to know when you like someone.

The butterflies in your stomach are a great cue.  Or when your daydreams are filled with thoughts of that person.

But if I want to quantify why I like Austin, this is what I’d say I like about him:

1.  He is really smart.  His mind is very discerning.  I tease him sometimes and say he reminds me of a lawyer, being absolutely precise about what I/he says, but the truth is he pays very close attention to what is going on.  You can believe his word and he expects to believe you at your word as well.

2.  He is an independent thinker.  You know those men (and women) who march to a different drum?  That’s Austin.  He’s not happy to just accept the status quo.  He intends to challenge and rethink everything that comes at him.  I love his free thinking ways.

3.  He makes me think.  He inspires me to think beyond the obvious to the deeper meaning in things.  It’s impossible to be around him and not be turned on intellectually.  This, I believe, is one of Austin’s greatest assets – the ability to inspire others to see the world differently.

4.  He is filled with quotes on all sorts of topics.  I love it when he quotes Khalil Gibran or Ernest Hemingway.  The best way to turn me on is to get inside my head and Austin has mastered that with all his quotes on life.

5.  He is subtle.  Instead of saying things outright, he talks in subtleties.  You have to pay attention when this man speaks to understand his meaning.  And I love how he tells a story to convey a sentiment, instead of sharing the sentiment directly.

6.  He makes me laugh.  Honestly, is there anything as wonderful or sexy as a man who can make you laugh?

7.  He’s incredibly handsome.  Not just in a “isn’t he attractive” kind of way, but in a “stop on the street and stare” kinda way.  I could get lost just looking at him.  Did I say that I don’t like handsome men?  I lied.  Austin’s face is quite captivating and I drink in the sight of him every time I see him.

d5a991930b948df60deb3e10e8b099f58.  He has great hands.  I love his hands on my body.  They literally make me senseless.  Breathing becomes challenging.  Being in his hands is a great place to be.  I have have to revise my stance on big vs small hands.  Seriously.

9.  He has a wicked streak.  In the bedroom, this is a great asset.  Outside the bedroom it’s just plain sexy.  I like a man who is more wicked than I am.  It means he knows how to handle me.  I like a man with a dark streak.

10.  Like me, he has experienced some major life traumas and has come out stronger in the broken places.  More aware of life, the people around him, and the meaning of his life experiences.  He is simply a beautiful person.  Easy to admire, easy to care for.

So there you have it.  The reasons behind why I am enjoying my friendship with Austin.  Perhaps it’s not the most romantic list every created.  Give me a break, I’ve only known him for a few months.  But in a nutshell, those are the reasons why.

Those, and the fact that he let me get to third base.  😉