My marriage started in February of 1996 and ended in September of 2004.
At the time, I remember my ex-husband trying to coerce me into staying together by telling me that no one would want me since I had kids.
I thought he was ludicrous.
But here I am 14 years later and I’m still single and HONESTLY, I really need to examine the reasons why.
Because I’ve had several boyfriends but nothing long term.
And the only similar factor in all those relationships is ME.
The other day, I took a good long look at all my failed relationships and asked myself, “WHAT HAPPENED?”
And as TEMPTED as I might be to say, “Something is obviously wrong with me” or “Something is obviously wrong with them,” the reality is NOBODY IS WRONG.
When I got married the first time, I was looking for someone with a nice ass, great cheekbones, and a decent personality.
And that’s exactly what I got.
Plus two INCREDIBLY handsome and extraordinary boys!
But I missed out on intellectual stimulation, emotional connection, and similar values.
And I’ve been looking for those things ever since.
Boyfriends #1, #2, and #3 may have come closer to what I’m looking for but in the end I can draw only one conclusion:
I am single because I’m smart enough to know that I haven’t met anyone yet with whom I could have a successful marriage with.
Nothing wrong with me.
Nothing wrong with them, although I still take offense at the one who left me during a miscarriage.
I see people ALL THE TIME who are in sucky relationships.
I occasionally wonder, “What the HELL is wrong with ME? If SHE/HE can find a partner, why can’t I?”
And then it hits me.
I’m single because I’m BETTER AT RELATIONSHIPS, not because I suck.
And that, dear readers is a revelation.