Yesterday, I hit a wall.
I literally couldn’t stop thinking about how close I came to being in an active shooter situation.
I was fuzzy.
As news of the victims came out along with information on the shooter, I struggled to keep productive at work.
Images of people running for their lives filled my head.
Then a familiar face on the TV screen – a friend.
He was onstage performing with his band when the shooting started.
He had to take cover under the stage.
Had I known his band was playing, would I have stayed to see him perform?
Would I have been there for the bullets during the encore?
Thoughts of how close I came to being yards away from an active shooter filled my head.
It was all I could do to make it through my day.
I searched for something benign to think about.
Star Trek costumes.
Comic Con costumes.
I’m going to Comic Con next month and so maybe helping to plan a costume might help.
Hint: It didn’t.
Finally, I broke down and called the new guy.
He updated me on his family.
The shooter was a local teenager.
The new guy’s family is also local.
His kids knew the shooter.
It was like a bomb went off.
All the threads leading up to the shooting – dating a Gilroy local, being a festival goer who escaped the tragedy yet somehow being inextricably affected by it – started to tangle around me and I’ve got to say, I am struggling to process what happened.
Please send hugs and peaceful vibes my way.
I know there’s no short cut to heal from this kind of tragedy.
But I could really use a nice warm snuggle to make me feel safe and secure.
It’s been a rough two days.