Life is Swede

Yes, I’m still on my Swedish kick.

I broke down and clicked on a few links and. . .

  1. I now have a bottle of glögg arriving at my home in a week or two
  2. I signed up for a Beginning Swedish language class starting in January
  3. I figured out where to buy small batch Icelandic vodka
  4. I’m going to stop by Lunardi’s in Los Gatos to pick up akvavit (aqua vit)
  5. I signed up for a few Swedish activities mailing lists and liked a few Swedish FB pages

I’m convinced, if The Swede doesn’t snap me up like the trophy prize I am, that Alexander Skarsgård is destined to fall in love with me and propose marriage.

Ahem.

Yes, I have True Blood fantasies.

AND I can pronounce Skarsgård properly.

If that doesn’t make me perfect for some Swede, then I don’t know what is.

I also decided to buy the cutest little America loves Sweden t-shirt.

TECHNICALLY, I think it’s about Swedish Americans and we’ve established that I’m definitively Norwegian.

But watch me care less about that.

This American likes her Swedes.

Life is Swede.

Scandinavian

While I was shopping for Barbara’s birthday present, my online research branched off into a tangential research project.

Scandinavian cooking classes.

To be specific, I was looking for Swedish cooking classes.

How do I make those tasty meatballs, is what I want to know.

So there I am, looking for Scandinavian cooking classes (I missed one on November 3rd in Reno by the Daughters of Norway), when I stumble across a resource for Nordic/Baltic goods and services in the Bay Area.

Woot!

On the list, there are a number of Swedish-owned wineries, breweries, and glögg makers.

And just like that, I created a trip for me and The Swede to go on – a tour of Swedish wineries:

  • Field Vineyards
  • Garden Creek Vinyards
  • Gustafson Family Vineyards
  • Sjoeblom Winery
  • Soil & Soul Wines
  • West Wines

Voilá!

Of course my plan does require The Swede to actually PACK A BAG and COME TO CALIFORNIA.

But when he does, I have a wine outing to take him on.

 

 

 

Long time, no Swede

It’s true.

I haven’t seen The Swede since I visited him in Stockholm over the holiday break.

We still keep in touch.

He called me on my birthday.

I talked to him 4 days later when it was his turn to celebrate a birthday.

Right now he’s in Barcelona at a trade convention.

He invited me to “celebrate our birthdays together” in Barcelona but I wasn’t able to pull off a last minute trip to Spain.

Not enough vacation time.

I’m trying though.

There’s nothing I’d like more than to spend another holiday break in Sweden, hanging with The Swede and his daughter, trying to learn Swedish, drinking glogg, and “cheating” at Monopoly.

I use the term “cheat” loosely because I prefer to think of it as “redistributing my wealth.”

I miss The Swede and I’m hoping he comes to California again to visit.

There’s a small possibility that he’ll be here with his daughter for the holiday break.

I’m trying not to think about it because if I do, I start planning out all the places I want to take them and all the activities I want to do with them.

San Francisco, Santa Cruz, Half Moon Bay, Monterey. . .

There’s SO MUCH TO DO and they need to COME TO CALIFORNIA so I can fulfill my desire to be their tour guide and show them all the places near and dear to my heart.

There’s so much that makes California a wonderful place to live.

And there’s people I need to introduce them to.

Just give me an excuse to plan and I’ll run away with it.

Long time, no Swede.

“Proposed”

The Swede has proposed to me at least three times.

Now, when I say PROPOSED, I mean “proposed.”

Basically, he texted me his proposal and followed it with a wink.

I find this absolutely hilarious and I can’t wait until he “proposes” again.

The thing about The Swede is this.

I like him SO VERY MUCH but given that I only see him twice a year (and lately not even that often), I don’t know him well enough to move in and settle down with him despite the fact that I like his family, his children, and I’m not against moving to Sweden.

There are obvious benefits to living in Sweden.

For one, there’s no grifter President Trump running Sweden.

Sweden has a Royal Family and we all know how much I love Royals.

On the other hand my Swedish is atrocious, I’ve never lived in snow, and it’s very far away from Burning Man.

Le sigh.

I have been advised by another Swede to take The Swede’s proposals more seriously than I am.

Perhaps they do things differently in Sweden but in the USA, if there’s not a ring then it’s not a proposal.

And last I checked, proposals followed by winks NEGATE the proposal.

It’s fun to think about though.

Which is why I’m amused each time he suggests we get married.

And The Swede has not one, not two, but THREE wonderful kids I could absorb into my family.

Get them all US citizenship.

Get dual Swedish / US citizenship for myself.

Learn to speak Swedish properly.

See, I’ve thought this out a little.

😉

Homage to Sweden

I’m sure you all know by now that I had a FABULOUS time in Sweden.

Even in the winter, Stockholm and the surrounding areas were beautiful and inviting.

I must say, I loved it so much I hope to go back.

And it goes without saying that I’ll get to see The Swede if I head over again.

Not even the 12-hour plane light can deter me from going.

Now.

You know I’m a planner.

I actually bought a pair of bikini bottoms from Globalkinis with the Swedish flag on them for my trip to Sweden.

I imagined The Swede discovering them in the middle of fooling around.

Surprise!

But they didn’t arrive before I left for Sweden.

Sad face.

But now, The Swede might be coming for unSCruz.

Perhaps, if we’re lucky, even Burning Man.

And I’m pretty sure that the bikini bottom will go GREAT with my Swedish flag burnout tank top.

Even if he doesn’t make it, I still might wear the set.

You know, as my homage to Sweden (and The Swede).

CHEESE!

One of my FAVORITE things I did in Sweden was visit a cheese shop in Gamla Stan (Old Town) with The Swede.

The way to my heart is not through sweets but through CHEESE!

The Swede and I decided to have a nice cheese tray after dinner, complete with a selection of wine.

[Now, being on a diet, it makes me DROOL to think of cheese and wine!]

We stepped into a small store in Stockholm and I was overwhelmed with the smell of aging cheese.

Funky yet yummy.

Mmmmmmmm!

We selected a cheese, sampled it and approved of it.

Then another.

And another.

All in all, we selected 5 cheeses of varying degrees of softness, ripeness, and gooeyness.

All VERY delicious.

Then we went to the SPECIAL store to buy wine.

In case you didn’t know, only one chain of stores, which I think are run by the government, can sell liquor.

So we go inside and The Swede tells me he wants SWEET white wine.

Okay.

Each wine had a label that graphically represented how sweet that wine was.

And I ready the graphic BACKWARDS.

So instead of getting sweet white wine, we got regular white wine.

Ah well.

I think The Swede forgave me.

American girlfriend

Okay, I’m just gonna come out and say it.

I miss Sweden.

The candies.

The chocolate.

The shopping.

The company.

It’s been almost a month since I got back and I’m thinking a summer trip to Sweden may be in store for me.

I’d love to see Sweden in the summer when it’s warm and green.

And when the sun stays out longer than 5 hours a day.

There’s much I didn’t see or do in Sweden.

Check out the ABBA Museum.

Take a boat ride on the Stockholm archipelago.

Go on a road trip up the coast.

See The Swede again.

Especially see The Swede again.

It looks like he will be taking a trip to the East Coast in April and I’m supposed to join him there to check out hockey teams and colleges for his daughter.

Big, impressive colleges!

And then there is some sort of hockey tournament in Florida.

I’ve never been to Florida.

It could be a lot of fun to join them on their voyages.

The other day I joked that The Swede was spending so much time in America he was going to become an American.

He replied with a happy GIF.

Which makes me think, perhaps The Swede wouldn’t mind starting off with an American girlfriend.

You never know. . .

Living like a nun

Since my return from Sweden, I’ve been living like a nun.

Even though my vow of celibacy is no longer in place, I’m still not getting any.

Reason #1: I like The Swede and he’s not here.

Reason #2: I sort of consider myself in a transition state right now on my diet.

And I consider “transition phases” inappropriate for dating.

Plus, the last thing I want is to be sipping my low-cal tomato soup while out on a date.

So here I am.

Single yet happy.

To tell the truth I’ve got a lot going on BESIDES my diet that is keeping me occupied.

UnSCruz planning – I’m helping to organize volunteers.

South Bay Burners Regional Precompression aka SoulFire – I’m trying to resurrect this event with guidance from some friends.

Burning Man 2018 – can’t miss That Thing In The Desert.

Pagan Bunny Burn – my very first! Can’t wait!

I mean, I’m not going to turn down any dates that pop up, but I’m also not actively cultivating anything.

Which, remarkably, doesn’t bother me.

All of which is to say that despite my fuller than full physique, I’m pretty damn happy.

So I can’t complain!

Care Package

I’m putting together a care package for The Swede and his daughter.

I took back so much deliciousness from Sweden, it only seems fair to share my California with them.

But what to get?

Fucking Ghost Pepper Nuts!

And Caroline Reaper Jerky!

You know, just to say “thanks for destroying my taste buds when you fed me that spicy chocolate truffle.”

It’s my way of returning the favor.

Of course Tejas contributed to the package with his Ghost Pepper Infused Salt.

Mmmmm.

Nothing says “you’re special” like a third degree burn to the lips.

Am I right?

I jest.

And I got Sriracha sauce just because MAYBE they don’t have it in Sweden and who doesn’t LOVE Sriracha sauce?

But seriously, I also picked up some Dayquil/Nyquil for them since it’s not available in Sweden.

Hopefully it will slip by customs.

And then there’s a small but select pile of makeup and skin care products for The Swede’s daughter.

Because I have NO IDEA what else to get her.

And finally, I picked up some SWEDISH FISH for them.

Because they have FISH CANDY in Sweden, but not SWEDISH FISH.

A box of that will remedy the situation.

So whaddya think?

Is it a good care package?

WOW!

So by now you all know I had a great time during my visit to Sweden.

What you don’t know is that I picked up a nasty virus on the plane ride home and I’ve literally been coughing so hard that I gag.

It’s simply awful.

I just got checked out by a doctor, since I was feeling so awful and barking like a dog, and she told me I don’t have the flu, I have RSV – a respiratory virus that runs its course in 1 – 2 weeks.

Fun!

Although I am relieved I didn’t pick up a virus on the plane ride over, that would have really SUCKED.

I flew on the Icelandic airline WOW Airlines.

For being a discount airline flying to Europe, they were remarkably well put together – they got me where I needed to be on time.

My sole view of Iceland was from the airplane flying in as I was heading home.

What does Iceland look like, you want to know?

Rocks and snow.

I’m afraid I saw nothing more than rocks and snow as we were flying in and even less of Iceland when we flew out, seeing as how the sun sets in the sky remarkably early in the afternoon at this latitude.

I must say this about Icelandic women, though.

Damn, they are BEAUTIFUL!

EVERY. SINGLE. FLIGHT. ATTENDANT. WAS. TALL. WILLOWY. AND. GORGEOUS.

So you know, if you feel like flying to Europe AND enjoying some eye candy at the same time, WOW is the airline for you.