Anti-Valentine’s Day 2021

Valentine’s Day is coming up and you know what that means?

Nothing.

I’m not celebrating this year.

Per my usual, I am not participating in this holiday.

Not even to participate in Table for Onesie, which can’t take place because of Covid-19.

I’m not even going to buy my kids shitty sugar cookies with clever messages written on them like:

Meh

Fuck Off

Next

I HATE this fucking holiday.

I’m expecting a round of “look at my perfect love story” posts to hit Facebook from all my coupled up friends.

Okay, maybe not all my coupled up friends.

Some of them detest the holiday as much as I do.

Screw you, VD!

Time to Party

Valentine’s Day is coming up and I’m going on a pub crawl with friends.

It’s a Table for Onesie Pub Crawl, so we will all be dressed up in unisex onesies.

I have seemingly a hundred onesies in my collection and I need to select one to wear that night.

I’m leaning towards my purple star onesie, basically because I love the idea of wearing my lavender wig.

But also, a rainbow unicorn would be nice.

I’m planning on taking an uber to and from the pub crawl so I can drink without worrying about getting a DUI.

Nothing like hoping into an uber in a big purple star onesie and a lavender wig to say “it’s time to PARRRRRTY!”

Single and AMAZING

I just realized.

Valentine’s Day is on the horizon.

That holiday is always a bit of a crap shoot for me.

Some years I like it.

Other years I DESPISE it!

This year, I’m feeling slightly ambivalent with a slight lean towards “FUCK THIS FUCKING HOLIDAY.”

Yes, it’s because I’m single and I have no one to celebrate romantic love with.

But I sure have a lot of people I love who I can celebrate.

So Valentine’s Day doesn’t TOTALLY suck the BIG ONE.

This year I’m going on a pub crawl for Valentine’s Day.

Table for Onesie is a progressive through the streets of Campbell where people dressed in onesies drown their sorrows in booze.

PERFECT!

Sign me up for THAT!

I’ll be in my jungle monkey onesie:

Perhaps underneath I’ll wear these broken heart nipple pasties.

Although for aforementioned reasons, OBVIOUSLY no one will see them.

I thought about wearing my TOXIC LOVE sweatshirt, which I’ve worn in protest in the past.

But in the end, I just LOVE the monkey suit.

If you’re in the same boat as me this Valentine’s Day, consider getting a group of friends together to celebrate this stupid fucking holiday with a shit ton of booze.

And never forget. . .

Even though you’re single, you’re still AWAZING!