Home run

It’s not like me to move slow and take it easy.

Although I am a relatively mellow woman, I find that when it comes to physical relationships I have two speeds:  grass growing and rocket blasting.

Yeah, when I make up my mind that I want some action from someone, it’s hard to stop me.

I do wish there was something besides ludicrous speed, maybe a gentle stroll or a brisk walk, to land me in bed with someone I really like.

To tell the truth, the new guy has slowed me down A LOT.

Everything we’ve done would be appropriate for a PG rated movie.

The few times I’ve tried to broach the topic with him, he changed the subject.

So I’ve been waiting for the perfect time to bring up physical intimacy.

And it presented itself:

So there you have it, I’m not going to jump his bones but I’m not going to inch along, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

I’m going to make my own perfect moment and take the new guy there with me.

As my friend Tom put it, “This is not some fuck boi with a coke can dick.”

Take my time.

Enjoy myself.

Don’t rush.

Be attentive.

And fucking pitch one perfect ball right over the plate so he can knock it right out of the park and have a roaring slide into home base.

That’ll do.

MOOP

One of the things the new guy and I did was go for a hike at Wilder Ranch.

The new guy brought a backpack with snacks, a blanket, and beverages.

He even brought a jacket – in case I got cold.

Needless to say, I was impressed.

But what truly BLEW ME AWAY was watching him pick up MOOP (Matter Out Of Place aka rubbish) on our hike and put it in his backpack to throw away in a garbage can later on.

A man who cleans up other peoples’ MOOP?

He’s a man after my own heart.

After our hike we went to the shops on Swift Street in Santa Cruz.

He wanted to take me to get a charcuterie board at the brewery there.

Then we wandered the shops, looking for cool items to buy.

I think I can say for sure that what I like most about the new guy is his willingness to try new things.

Things which may have taken me much longer to get accustomed to (like ropes, emotional honesty courses, and social nudity).

He’s just a “live and let live” kinda guy, which makes me so happy.

Maybe I found a keeper?

We’ll see.

Inquiring minds want to know. . .

It’s been hard work blogging lately.

Inspiration is hard to come by.

There’s only so much I can write about dates, men, and my activities.

Clearly, I need to get out and do more because this just isn’t cutting it.

I even have a tickler file I keep to help me find inspiration when inspiration is lacking and that’s doing nothing for me.

Personally, I think it’s lack of sex that’s zapping my creativity.

When I’m turned on, I write better.

When I’m drunk, I write better (I edit sober, however).

When I’m stoned, I write better.

Does that mean I should crossfade while having sex?

Well, I’d like to think so, but sadly that is not the case.

I’ve sworn to not jump into bed with any man and so even the new guy has to wait.

And it’s killing me.

I like to sample the goods, you know.

And yes, of course I need to know what kind of person he is:

  • Whether or not he gives up his seat to the elderly on a crowded bus.
  • If he will help out a friend with a flat tire on the side of the road.
  • Whether he’s generous and volunteers his time and talent for worthy causes.

So there’s a lot of IMPORTANT SHIT to get to know about the new guy.

But also, I’m curious about his lovemaking skills.

Is that so wrong?

Well color me guilty if it is.

Inquiring minds want to know. . .

Date #2

I’ve shut off my profile in Tinder.

It’s not what you think.

I’m not giving up.

I’m just creating a little space for me and the new guy to get to know each other without the distraction of other men texting me.

In case you’re wondering, I did get a lot of hookup requests.

One from a guy who wanted, “KFC and cowgirl AT THE SAME TIME.”

I kid you not.

Could I make that up?

Funny enough, I read that wrong and thought he was looking for KFC and A COWGIRL and so I messaged him telling him I had a cowboy hat and like KFC only to realize I made a HUGE mistake.

LOL.

I save my random hookups for Burning Man.

SERIOUSLY.

It’s the one place I let myself enjoy the physicality of other people just for the hell of it.

Case in point:  a sexy bodybuilder who liked my ass and wanted to see more of it on the playa.

I indulged in a private showing.

Sadly, his cocaine habit interfered with his performance, but I still remember him fondly.

I’m sure he has NO PROBLEM finding dates on Tinder.

So here I sit, having shut off my Tinder profile, wondering what comes next.

Date two, I suppose.

We’ve already discussed going camping in the new guy’s brand new trailer.

And bringing him to a village meeting to see (of all people) Rachel Lark perform her brand of bawdy storytelling.

But all that is weeks in the future.

What we need is something we can do now.

Like catch a movie.

Go on a hike.

Grab another meal together.

Anything, so long as I get to see him again.